I couldn't agree with schizzo more. We were advised to put the kids on hold for a while and focus on strengthening our relationship. Our lives were so centered on the kids and what they were doing that we lost all the connections we had as a couple.<P>Our kids are very active and successful and we hate to miss anything they do. Our daughter is a competitive gymnast and our son is on a travelling baseball team. I talked to them while we were in the car (traveling to one of their sports) and told my son that we would not be at the game that weekend or the gym meet. We were going to start working on our marriage to become better spouses to each other and better parents to them. I told them that I have organized rides for them to their events and that we loved and supported what they were doing and we were very proud of them. I assured them that we were interested in them and their accomplishments but that we needed to focus on our relationship right now and to my surprise they were so encouraging and put me at ease. <P>You see, they want our marriage to work. We have never discussed, or cried, or argued in front of them about this issue, but they have most likely sensed something. I admit that I cried all day until they came home, then I put a smile on and just focused on them. They can sense it.<P>The greatest gift you can give your children in my opinion is a strong marriage that makes them feel loved and secure. I will never forget their response to me. It was, "O.K. mom, that's fine. I'll be o.k. and I hope you and dad get better." (their aes are 13,11, and 9).<P>We went on our Retrouvaille weekend and I described it as a weekend that would help couples make their marriage stronger. When we got home, I was on the phone telling a friend about it and I could see my 13 year-old daughter pretending not to listen, and my 9 year-old daughter pretending she had important business in the area, and my 11 year old son was watching TV and when I got off the phone my daughter's said nothing to me, but my son walked up to me and said bluntly, "So Mom, did you do good?" I said, "What do you mean?" he said, "you know, did you do good, you and dad? " I realized then that he knew so much more than I would ever have wanted him to know. I told him we did great and we will continue to work. Children know so much. They are wonderful.<P>Sorry I know I have written a loooong story and your children are much younger than mine, but the issue is the same. If you have a strong marriage, your children will benefit 10Xs.<P>Take care, <P>Jane