Hey Medic238 - If you run out of projects, let me know. I have a house full of painting that needs to be done, as well as some landscaping, and general house cleaning. I'm here to help and if that means having someone else do my chores, well, I guess I just have to release it!

Think about things like your parents, your children, the holidays you've shared, the trials you've come through. Think about other things you care about and don't want to lose. <P>Find something like horseback riding, reading, skating, painting, restoring cars, models, running, or whatever that absorb all your concentration. It gets easier. Every time you choose to allow your feelings and thoughts to go elsewhere, it gets easier.

"Sounds like it was a determined effort you and your husband made to commit to the marriage. Was that way ahead of your feelings? Did you just trust they would come later?"<P>Yes, and we're still trusting to some degree. We slowly came apart to the point of separation/thinking about divorce, so we don't kid ourselves, that work, and at least as much time to repair, is almost a requirement. <P>Since you rely heavily on your faith, maybe this will help you, too. When I reconciled with God, and the Church, one of the things Father recommended I "do", (proactively) with my emotions for OM, is to pray for him. When I am caught up in feelings, and some of those confusing emotions, I turn it over to God, and pray that peace and good things come of the mess we made with each other. I truly believe that God can move where I am lost, or feeling very weak. I guess the prayer allows me to feel as if my emotions are going *somewhere* - they aren't for naught anymore.<P>"I was raised Catholic, but consider myself non-denominational Christian now. Still, the Catholic roots run deep and I treasure that part of my heritage. Our Retrouvaille weekk-end was Catholic and it was very comforting to me to be in that environment. (just a side note here)."<P>I grew up Methodist. My H comes from a family of devout Catholics, and when I married into his family, I felt God leading me to the Church. I took RCIA (religious ed for adults), then studied religion on the side, for a few years. Grew increasingly serious about it as a calling, and then converted. My affair represented spiritual abandonment to me - as well as a departure from all that mattered most to me, as far as moral fiber. I've learned to lean on my faith, and agree with you, it can be extremely comforting during rough patches. <P>Hope your day is going along better. Something I keep in mind when I feel weighted down with emotions - they are fleeting! If nothing helps, remember that you certainly aren't going through it alone. <P>Delilah <P><BR>

Thanks again, Delilah.<P>Yes, thankfully emotions are fleeting - but these depressing ones seem to be hanging around the last few days! Like a nagging cough that just won't go away! But I also remember they will pass and that helps.<P>It is interesting what you say about prayer, because that is what I've been doing, too. One of my prayers about 5 years ago was "God, make something beautiful out of my messes" - at that time nothing like THIS mess! It is my prayer again, for He can turn all things into something for our good - and not waste any of it. Again, knowing that makes it more bearable. <P>Feel like my mind needs a rest - I've been thinking and trying to figure so much out. Time to go relax in the garden, or do something outdoors. Thanks, Delilah, for your encouraging words. Already God is using some of your trials for good in the lives of others.<p>[This message has been edited by siftedlikewheat (edited July 21, 2000).]

Ripped send me an email ok?<P>firesong@bigfoot.com<P>Similar boat, might be able<BR>to help ya<P>J

Sifted, you are so sweet to say that - and *thank you*, that is a prayer both of us share, daily. Smack in the middle of the grey clouds, it is so difficult to imagine the sun shining again...but it does. <P>Hope you are feeling a bit better, (and uplifted!), today.<P>Delilah