TX Fiddler: I felt exactly the same as you do. It boggled my mind that my h would give up so much..We had a good marriage. I still wonder why,, quite a bit.. And I have come to the conclusion that I really will never understand exactly why.. My h continually told me he still loved me, and that there was nothing she provided for him that I didnt. Which made me wonder why even more then... <P>The only thing that I concluded from this is that at the time, my h and I worked opposite shifts and he met a girl at worked that had the same odd work hours as he did (they are cops at the same dept.) She was young and my h was very flattered.. Combine that with after work parties with alcohol, and a wife he hadnt been seeing lately,,, and wammo....you have the makings of an affair.. Also,, I remember right around that time we had gotten into a big argument... I think he was able to use that to feel ok to begin the affair. Up to that point I dont think anything had happend until we had gotten in an argument.<P>I will tell you that we successfully got through everything! So there is hope. It was the worst roller coaster ride in my life.. We went through a lot.. Ow even bought a house around the corner from us when my h broke it off.....<P>My recommendation to you is if you havent done so already,, also pick up a copy of Survivng an Affair by Willard Harley... The book Private Lies was good for different reasons,, The Surviving an Affair book is what really helped get me through his affair. It helped me understand what he was going through...although you may never know the answer to excactly why she would risk everything,, the book will help you understand how crazy an affair can make a person.. Ant that you are not alone. Its amazing how similar the betrayers act....<P>Withdrawal is another important thing that you will have to learn about and understand. Eventually, you wife should also learn about it.. Yes, I do believe she is experiencing withdrawal... Best wishes!