Forest,<P>I replied back to you on the other thread since you replied there.<P>It IS important to start identifying needs and not keep spinning.<P>Read His Needs/ Her Needs. After really trying to grasp what is being said (and it took me several tries) sit down with the questionnaire. Then ask, if you had the ideal wife what one thing would you have to have? If you could have two, what second one would you add? That's the clearest way to rate the needs.<P>I think we make it harder than it is. My h, like many men has Sex, Domestic Support and a Good Looking Spouse in that order.<P>She needs to know as much for herself as for you. You are not in-love with her and she wants to deposit love units, show her how!!!<P>Lady DI, I too asked why, why...<P>He couldn't tell me, but I figured it out. She thought he was hot s**t. Yes, ego, admiration, it is a very legitimate need. We're all looking for "love".

Bump ^^^^<p>Good Reading!

I just had to post one to your thread, forest: like you, I had an EA last year with an old girlfriend online with Instant Messenger and then emails. I KNEW it was so stupid of me to do it, yet I did it in the name of "helping her" to feel better about herself. Well, we quickly grew emotionally closer. WHOOPS! I'm not a Christian Counselor. I also realized that my duty is FIRST to my wife to love, cherish and take care of her first and forsaking all others. Basically, I was STEALING LoveBank Deposits FROM my wife and DEPOSITING them into this other woman's LoveBank. Big No-No, I realized. I thank the Lord that He brought me to an "Eyes Wide Open" awareness that this is just plain wrong. So now, forest, you're going through the withdrawal pains of "lost love" or "what could have been" Please, just think of how you are DESTROYING your Family and your wife's SECURITY - women NEED to know their Mate loves them ABOVE ALL OTHERS. I made that mistake and yes, I paid for it. We're all just imperfect human beings, but I for one allowed the devil to slip into a chink in my armour to "just be friends" with this OW. What lies and deceit the devil will use to trick us into thinking it's so innocent - when in fact it is NOT. Because my wife believed in me, and we have deep intimate talks daily, we are back to the ONE that God would have us to be. Listen to your wife. Talk to her. Share everything. Sign an agreement - do whatever it takes to WIN your wife back. Believe me, the JOY you will re-discover is worth far more than what you think you might have had with the OW. And you will also know that you did not break your wife's heart, rip it out, and then stomp on it. God is gracious and He forgives all evil and hurt. He forgave mine and blessed me with a most wonderful wife who loves me and also forgives me. Let go and let God, please.
Peace, Harold [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

ALL choices have repercussions...good and bad. Live it...learn it...and let go of it! Life is too damned short to have your mind in a constant turmoil of "what if...?" My motto is: Forgive, but don't forget [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ March 22, 2002: Message edited by: GeezLouise ]</p>