1. Lost 20 lbs. and I wasn't overweight.<BR>2. Can only focus on work about 50% of time.<BR>3. go to sleep at 10PM, wake up at 1:30 to 2:30AM and stay awake until 15 minutes before alarm goes off at 5:00AM.<BR>4. Started smoking again 6 years after quitting.<BR>5. Often find myself outside on the patio smoking 2 in a row at 3:00AM.<BR>6. Bowel movements that were like clockwork have become erratic.<P>My cheating W has also lost a lot of weight.<P><p>[This message has been edited by catamount82 (edited August 09, 2000).]

I initially couldn't sleep. I lost about 45 pounds in 3 months. This was a good thing. I also smoked non-stop a bad thing. I'm still smoking because I feel nervous all the time. I've developed a twitch in my right cheek. <P>I would drag myself to work and basically just push paper around all day. I really lost points on the job. Didn't tell anybody what was going on,,, but they eventually figured it out and have been very supportive. I am a secretary to the superintendent of our school district (also a female). One day at work I snapped at one of our school office managers. I have a reputation for always being efficient and very cheerful. I felt so bad that I was so very rude to this particular women (who is known as a big crabapple and I prided myself on being able to get along with her). Well that afternoon a bouquet of gorgeuos flowers arrived from this woman with a lovely note saying that she appreciated me and was sorry that I was having a bad day. Well I completely broke down right on the job!!! Started crying and couldn't stop...had to go home....it blew me away to realize that at least one person seemed to really care about me....I take St. John's Wort still it seems to help.<BR>P.S. It appears that this ordeal doesn't affect the betrayer's health that much because my H is still overweight!!

Couldn't eat or sleep for first 6 weeks---not good being pregnant. After baby was born have lost 70 pounds in 3 months. Needed to desperately as this was one emotional need I was definately not filling for H.<P>Have been on Paxil since end of May and it has helped tremendously. I can get through most days without crying and before, was crying virtually all day, every day.<P>Am also sleeping better, although still wake up and can't get back to sleep occasionally.<P>Go see your dr and get on some medication!! It will help to stabilize the emotions!

Ditto on much of this.<P>Lost 45-50 lbs tho definitely 35 needed to go.<BR>At about high school weight, now. This can be an unexpected plus for the situation. When I bought a new (shorter) belt in December, I examined what was I not doing. <P>Took the opportunity to check out my diet change, kept it up, my self-image has improved as a result. Lots of water, too.<P>Told spouse that the pipe will be the last thing to go, though, when I no longer feel a desire for it.<P>As tough as it may sound, try to look for the silver in this cloud.<P>For me, I LOVE trying on the smaller pant sizes and will work to maintain it. <P>On the other hand, I was hassled by aquaintances last night about having lost so much. It was suggested I put 20 back on. Not if IIII can help it. <P>rrunrr<BR><p>[This message has been edited by rrunrr (edited August 14, 2000).]

I've just been diagnosed with a very rare disease of unknown origin. (so rare that nothing as been written about it since the 30's) It's an auto-immune disorder. I have read where they believe stress may be involved. It's a disease that only Native American, Japanese and Indians get. None of that in my ancestry. I may lose my sight AND hearing. Now I call that stress!

Well, when he left, I had no idea what was going on... gained weight...too much.<P> Discovery 4 months later (also found that OW was 2 months preg at the time)...lost weight...oh, about 50 lbs. Suddenly had about twice as much gray as before. Hair fell out like you would not believe. Handfuls of it!<P> Had the shakes... elephant on the chest...thought I was having heartattacks at the young age of 26. Lots of tests later, found I have a stress disorder. Went on meds. Hair is coming back thicker, now (about 4 years later). Still on Paxil. Still havn't gained the weight back (hope I never do).<P> Oh, yes... and my lungs probably look like darkest midnight... I started smoking again after discovery.

Say Jeremy,<P>I know what your feeling. But believe me, you'll make it thru this. It's a devistating experience and me of ALL people didn't think I could make it, it was one minute at a time, then an hour at a time, pretty soon I graduated to a day at a time. It does get easier, I promise you.<P>If you hang out here with us, we'll help you. It will make a difference and you're gonna learn things from this experience that will make you a better person and spouse.<P>Looks like from all the posts the one common demoninator symptom experienced is what we cheefully call the "IWLP", also known as the Infidelity Weight Loss Program. [sarcasm]<P>Be well ... it's important to remember to take care of yourself.<P>Best,<BR>Jo<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited August 10, 2000).]

When I found out she was out of town and I didnt sleep for 48 hrs. Plus I lost around 20lbs. As we try to work it out I still have probs sleeping, stress headaches, chest pains, back pains. Im sure my BP is way up to. But I will have to see what happens.

Jeremy<BR>Go to the doctor if you haven't already.<BR>You can get the antidepressants but they take a while.<BR>My doctor gave me Lorazepam to help me sleep while the antidepressants kicked in. Once you get your schedule off balance you sometimes need a little help getting it back in order. A few good nights sleep will get you on the right track. <BR>You need to take care of yourself.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MEDIC238:<BR>[B]Don't rely on someone else to make you happy. Look from within.<P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Tim<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Thank you for the wishes, Tim. I hope your next relationship is blissfully happy! <BR><P>------------------<BR>Love hurts no one.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I Believe:<BR><B>When EA was discovered and he was talking about how bad our life was and he did not love me and he wanted out I did not sleep or eat for weeks. I was still not sleeping but I had just started to eat again when he dropped the bomb and left on friday night. I have not eaten in 5 days. I have to stay in constant motion and be with people or talking to someone until like 11-11:30. Then I read my bible and pray myself to sleep. I am awake when his alarm should be going off. I listen and watch for his vehicle all the time. When I go home I keep hoping to see it sitting in the driveway. In other words I am quite lost right now because he has been my anchor, best friend, lover, everything for so long that I can not believe he isn't here. I thought he was starting to come around, he was starting to respond. I have my first counseling session this afternoon. I think I need it.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

This is my first time replying so my first attempt I think I replied with a blank. Anyway why I'm responding to what you said is because it sounded almost identical to what I went thru & I was stunned it was so close. I'm guessing you are just going thru this & my situation happened 2 yrs. ago & I'm sorry to say I still imagine he will come home or I hear the garage door open during the night. When I sleep I forget what has happened to me & sometimes I awake during the night & reach over to touch him & then it hits me & I either cry myself to sleep or just lay there thinking all kinds of thoughts. Sounds pretty pathetic since I should be over this as most of my friends say to me. I can't get over my deep regetion form him & I don't know how to heal.

Was 5 mos. pregnant at time of discovery. Couldn't eat or sleep. Lost 15 lbs midpregnancy, became anemic, had to have amnio done due to age and not feeling right.<P>Drs. were concerned about diabetes, but thank goodness it never developed. In sort of recovery now. Weight came back. Hoping for healthy baby in 1 month.

Thought I'd jump in and post.....<P>As soon as discovery October 99... I couldn't sleep 1/2 hour here and a half hour there...I would wake up with my heart racing and pounding like mad. I also would wake up drenched in sweat. I never really wanted to sleep because of the feelings I would have when I woke up. I finally got on the right medication and take Paxil 20mg and trazadone 25 mg at night... I finally get a good nites rest. <P>Eating is another thing.... I lost 65lbs !! I should have never lost that much, but I just couldn't eat... I remember standing over the garbage can, trying to choke down a banana, toast and string cheese...All I could stomach was a bite of toast. People at work didn't know what was going on... they all thought I was dying of cancer !!I tried to hide it for as long as I could... going to my car for my lunch breaks and just crying my eyes out, and then crying all the way home... not to mention that I cried all the way to work. I'm a Nurse and there were times I would feel like I was going to pass out in the hallways at work,and I also had numbness and tingling in my arms, due to the stress. I would check the medication I was going to give the patients about 4 times before I gave it. My concentration was sure messed up. I finally let my chare nurse and a few others know what was going on.. They really came to my rescue. Made me eat and would check with me if I needed help.<P>Oh... yes... after 10 years of not smoking I went back !! I Smoke sometimes like a crazy women. oh yes... I too was outside smoking in freezing weather at 2-3 am !!! cig after cig. Well... I can always quit again.<P>Had my hair cut and the gray dyed out... little highlights too.<P>Also take Zantac for the hurting stomach !!<P>My Drs advice was if you're not eating.... take gatorade !!! I knew that, but I just couldn't think back then. I bought and drank Gatorade buy the gallons....what scared me was that my legs and arms starting cramping up !!!! We need the electrolytes !!!<P>I went from a size 14 to a size 6/8... in a matter of months... now my H told someone that I'm toooo skinny ! ( Like he had nothing to do with it.)... I recently gained 5lbs back !!<P>Had vision problems too... black spots and rarrowing of my vision.... STRESS<P>while I was going through all of this... well my H was sleeping great... eating like a horse and working out for the OW... not to mention he could laugh at commercials...tv programs, whistle his favorite country western songs through out the house, and get together with people and be the life of the party. He just seemed to not have a care in the world and still doesn't. (He's been out of the house 2+ months now.)<P>I lost all intrest in my favorite things I liked to do and my fav food. Still can't watch TV. <P>Hope I didn't bore ya.... Just TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !!!!! I know its hard. <P>Blessings,<BR>Scoick......<P>Addendum :... I for got to mention that I was in school at the time of discovery... I'm was trying to go on and get my RN... anyway... the day of the exam... my H called me and told me " If you died, I'd pick up and move on" at midterm, I had a B+ average.... I ended up failing the class... toooo late to drop the class... and then I was suppose to study for finals !! I could barely decide what to wear !!!How can one learn Gas Laws and deal with all of this ????? Anyway... I plan to return in the fall(keeping my fingers crossed) and resume my goal.<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by scoick (edited August 13, 2000).]

I lost 35 lbs in 5 weeks. (Thank God for the caramel corn in the office at Christmas time.) Borderline clinical major depression. Cried ALL the time.<P>I'm much better now. However I can still cry when watching "Touched By An Angel" or something sad/happy. (I'm so sensitive now. Ladies like it so it's okay by me. )<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

My God...<P>Look what they have done to us.<P>Each story is more horrible than the one before. <P>It's just so against what is right in this world to go through something like this.<P>I feel for each and every one of you.<P>Hoping you have found some peace...<P>allison

I have some peace. I'm just fat now, and is he gonna want me back as a size 14? And since I have had to cut about 6 inches of my now drab, dull hair off because as it is falling out by the handful? <P>At least I can sleep these days. And the chest pains are gone.<P>But thanx for caring, Allison. You have a big heart. I can see that you are a real "mom."<P>Hopefully we'll all make it out of this alive!

I can't believe the amt of people that start smoking and here we are talking about addiction. What does that say about our society.<P>And oh yes, I started smoking also... just last week. I think it was a choice.. wine or cigarettes. My liver or my lungs. I chose my lungs. I am too active. I know I will get really sick of smoking quickly. I never really smoked before. Just when I was in college at night while writing papers.<P>Now, at night, when the kids are asleep I go outside and smoke too many....<P>When I first lit up, I felt "high" and I thought of my H and what he was feeling. Now I am getting sensitized to it... maybe that will happen to him... what do ya think???

What I think, Miss TT, quit smokin'!<P>There is no sense in destroying yourself further than what has already been damaged!!<P>Don't let this terrible thing in your life be victorious! Those "evil forces" out there want you to sink in despair! Don't do it!<P>Do anything besides smoke--crossword puzzles, endless rounds of solitair, long walks, aerobics, whatever. But don't hurt yourself with such an icky habit!<P>I know, it's strange that once a person's spirit has been killed, the first thing he wants to do is cause himself some more injury. Even bodily injury--it's like you want to take all your rage out against someone, and it always seems to be yourself as the most convenient person. Why is that?<P>I remember, as soon as I found out about the affair, not even being able to eat, I found that I could drink; Jack Daniels, that is, and I am not a drinker. Anything to kill the pain and help me sleep.<P>But anyways, I keep fighting off the urge to get some body piercings and dye my hair a real weird color (I am thinking burgundy.) <P>Don't let this destroy you as a person, especially physically. Let this experience fortify your resolve to be a strong individual. Fight off your depression in more constructive ways, not destructive ways. It will help in the long run.

Hey, I know.. I'm a nurse also. and I grew up in a chimney stack.<P>Neither alcohol or cigarettes are my addiction (I say this because I read somewhere that everyone has one... you just might not be exposed)<P>I can probably smoke a pack a day for two weeks and quit. I am already sick of it. It was a passing thing. I just couldn't drink after I found out about the PA.. and we screamed D.... so I smoked.