Just wondering how the emotional pain and stress of being betrayed affected your health. Mine certainly is not as good as it was and sleep is something hard to come by. Any suggestions that help one feel better physically?

At the original onslaught.. I didn't sleep.. almost like I was in a shock state. I lost about 20lbs, which was not good as I was thin already.<P>Antidepressants helped.. as did exercise... coming here to post and vent... going to a counselor, journaling and prayer.<P>I am in the second onslaught as we are heading for D... I am selling the house... I am sleeping OK.. but already I am not eating very well. But I am regrouping again. And I know I will get through it again....

Hey Jeremy,<P>I've lost 50 lbs in 3 mos, needed to loose it, but it's getting scary. I still can't eat.<P>I did start a walking routine, that helped a lot.<P>I sleep ok now...didn't when I was in the shock part of all of this.<P>I smoke (I know..yuck) tons. Replaced food with cigs. So, at least I'll be a thin dead person some day I guess.<P>My stomach hurts all the time. <P>My poor children are suffering some of the same too.<P>Infidelity sucks.<P>allison

I lost weight, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't go to work without dragging myself out of bed, I was an emotional wreck.. I also have rhematoid arthritis that was being controlled with drugs and all of a sudden the stress made the arthritis much worse. I am on anti depressants now that have helped with the sleeping and eating but the effect the stress of the situation on my physical health is bad.<P>I wish I had some easy answers but everybody is probably different.

Hi Jeremy,<P>My health has gone down hill. I seem sick all the time. What ever I catch seems to never want to leave. So I just deal with my illness and do what I can.<P>I am lucky I can sleep. Sometimes it is all I want to do.<P>Hope you feel better. Try rubbing your earlobe. Read some place that this helps babies sleep. Does not hurt to give it a try.

When EA was discovered and he was talking about how bad our life was and he did not love me and he wanted out I did not sleep or eat for weeks. I was still not sleeping but I had just started to eat again when he dropped the bomb and left on friday night. I have not eaten in 5 days. I have to stay in constant motion and be with people or talking to someone until like 11-11:30. Then I read my bible and pray myself to sleep. I am awake when his alarm should be going off. I listen and watch for his vehicle all the time. When I go home I keep hoping to see it sitting in the driveway. In other words I am quite lost right now because he has been my anchor, best friend, lover, everything for so long that I can not believe he isn't here. I thought he was starting to come around, he was starting to respond. I have my first counseling session this afternoon. I think I need it.

Jeremy,<P>We've all gone thru the same things that you are. <P>My health was horrible. I didn't eat for 9 days. Not too good when I'm hypoglycemic. I just tried to drink lots of fluids. slowly my appetite came back but it was very slowly. I lost 25 pounds in 6 weeks. <P>There was barely any sleep. When I closed my eyes, I saw him and her together. I had panic attacks and often felt like I was going to hyperventilate. <BR>I took St. John's Wort. There are other things you can take if you think you need them. Just see your doctor. It takes a couple of weeks for any type of anti-depressant to begin working, even herbal. After 3 weeks, I started feeling like my old self again. The nervousness stopped and my mind was alot clearer.<P>Good luck to you,<BR>Mitzi

During the months that H was playing me, and I had no idea what was going on (EA) I had no energy, deeply depressed and at the same time, tried to deny it. I did not eat (well, meals) and as an active duty soldier, ran everyday, but I still gained about 20 lbs. I was distracted, piecing and snacking on cookies and candy. I was soon after diagnosed with Type2 Diabetes, controllable with diet and excercise.<P>D-day and 5 months after: <P>Got about 1 to 2 hours of good sleep a night for about a month. I was so sick inside, I could not eat. I immediatly lost 10 pounds. To burn off steam, I went to the gym and ran and started up kickboxing. Later, I resumed weight-lifting (I had been into competitive bodybuilding, but the depression distracted me and I couldn't keep my routine and had quit for almost six months) The excercise helped. I had to listen to ACDC on my headphones while I ran to keep myself from thinking about it, to give me pep to keep running.<P>Now that my husband is playing me again:<P>Weight is back on. I feel like sleeping all the time. My hair is falling out and I have to keep cutting it to keep it somewhat healthy. I found my first grey hair the other night. My skin is breaking out like I am 14 again. I feel like sh, mentally and pphysically. Did I brighten your day?

my husband went through NO SLEEP, ALWAYS TIRED, DEPRESSION, SUICIDE THOUGHTS, AND NOW MIGRAINES.<P>He also went through some times of "chest pain".<P>very bad thing indeed.<P>mercy

I was diagnosed w/stage 3 cervical cancer prior to learning of the A. In Discovery I wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating, lost 35 lbs in the matter of 1.5 mos, paced and cried most the time (panic attacks). Was diagnosed as clinically depressed aft I told my therapist I wasn't sure if I was driving on the correct side of the freeway or not. <P>After discovery and into Plan A, no sleep, no eating and I was taking care of everyone else. My original Rad treatments were to only last 8 weeks, I was in radiation a total 5+ months due to emotional abuse from H and OW. Became addicted to Xanax.<P>Now I smoke cigs (have never done this before), I bite my nails (again, never done this before) and I have twitches in both upper eyelids (nerves I'm told).<P>I'm told I have not yet achieved full remission but I'm on the road to it.<P>I'm not sure about this, but I think the total damage done to your system doesn't manifest itself until after you've gone thru the worse. You know, once you start to relax then the fun really begins.<P>Man, I sure sound negative, don't I? Sorry, just another bad day.<P>Jo

Just thought I'd pop in with my story.<P>When first found out I couldn't eat-lost 10 pounds in a week and then had to literally force myself to keep yogurt and soup down. I tried to work and not let anyone know what was going on in my personal life, but literally fell apart one day in the office. I work for a medical office, so I was given an emergency appt. with a psychiatrist who put me on Prozac and Xanax and made me take one week off work, plus see him everyday for that week. Until the prozac kicked in I cried almost all day long and I didn't even remember sleeping. Things slowly started to improve, but the depression lingered through the divorce.<P>I will be divorced 3 yrs this month and although not totally happy about it, I can say that I have been through hell and survived. I wouldn't wish divorce on anyone. I am no longer on medication,and have gained my weight back. I get out and do things , but have to force myself on occasion. I still fight urges to be depressed, but I just will not allow it. I am trying to get back into my walking program, but am using the excuse of my work schedule to avoid it.<BR>I still see a counselor once a month, but should be finishing up in one or two more visits.As for sleeping, I go to sleep okay,but wake up around 4 and can't go back to sleep.

I lost a total of 40 pounds ,combination of meeting husbands emotional needs and not being able to eat for weeks.I could not sleep alone or be alone after H left.Relatives took turns sleeping with me in my living room.It took me a month to return to "our" bed.Not a minute goes by that I do not think of my husband.Recently I have had double vision,have been to a specialist there are not sure what it is yet.<BR>Some days I can make it thru the whole day without crying.Isnt this fun!!!!!!!!!!<BR>bethn

Lost 20 lbs, never slept and started drinking too much, so I guess for about 4 or 5 months my health was terrible. I have gained the 20 lbs back have cut down on the drinking, but a good night's sleep still is a thing of the past.

Infidelityitis...<P>Chronic trust deficiency...<P>Hyposelfesteememia....<P>Calls for emergency OPectomy! <P><BR>

I had been having trouble sleeping since before the seperation. Crying all the time, never wanted to get out of bed. I'd lay there thinking of what I thought was going on. Wondering if he was with her every time he went out the door. Couldn't sleep all night for listening for the sound of his van pulling in. Didn't feel like eating. Went from size 16 jeans to size 8 in 6 months. Tried everything to make myself feel better, dyed hair so I couldn't see the gray. Had killer anxiety attacks, thought I was having heart attack, or close to, so they made me wear a heart monitor for 3 days. H looked at it, and said "What the hell is that?" after I had told him I would have to wear it the day before. Had bloodwork, and chest x-rays, all of this to find out it was stress. Put me on antidepressants. I also began drinking too much at this time. Fell through the door more than once, or just passed out a friend's house. Also began having a period every two weeks. Whole lot of fun. Did I leave anything out? Oh yeah, hair got really thin. People at work thought I was dying because of the weight loss and all the health problems. I was trying not to tell folks at work what was going on, but realized I'd better let them know what was up before they thought I had AIDS or something. Just when the antidepressants began to take effect, and I was pulling out of my blues, the OW got a job where I work. Let me tell you, no "happy" pill in the world can get you through that without a tear.

I'm just so tired....never get a good night of rest. Feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest and get pains in the stomach all the time. I never thought I could feel this exhausted. Sounds like unfortunately I have alot of company. I don't know wethere I should go to a doctor or not.

I had an accident at my house shortly after finding out. I fell down my staircase seperating two ribs and bruising a kidney. I was out of work for 5 weeks. Somehow I look at it as a blessing in disguise because I was not able to function at work anyway. I also lost 25 lbs can't sleep well and had to take prescribed sleeping pills for a while.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jeremy:<BR><B>Just wondering how the emotional pain and stress of being betrayed affected your health. Mine certainly is not as good as it was and sleep is something hard to come by. Any suggestions that help one feel better physically?<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I couldn't sleep soundly, especially since, it was me and the kids. Sometimes, after fighting so hard for sleep, I would wake up with no feeling of fatigue.<P>Thoughts of him, discussions about the affair, wedding day and hot nights drifted by as if on display.<P>I never lost my appetite, but I did start exercising to handle the stress. During those times, the weight loss was a by-product to me.<P>My children were an inspiration for me to focus on taking care of business from day to day. My husband thought I didn't care whenever he stopped through on a visit from his apartment because I didn't look like I was suffering from the separation.<P>He began asking me who was I seeing because I was slimming down. Personally, I didn't want to bring another man into my home. I didn't want to give my kids the impression that infidelity was proper.<P>However, I have developed a condition, spastic dysphonia (or strangled-voice). My husband says he noticed I got worse a few years ago when he returned home. We were separated for a year.<P>It has worsened to the degree of discomfort under the base of my tongue from the muscle strain of forcing myself to talk. Sometimes, I get so winded, I just wave my hand when my husband and I are talking.<P>It is most uncomfortable, now. I wonder if we divorce, will it get better.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love hurts no one.

Leilana!!!<P>You crack my butt up!<P>Woman, you have one very rare and great sense of humor. <P>Thank you for taking a potentially down thread and making it "Leilana Like". <P>Thank God you are here, although I'm sorry for the circumstances it's under. But you just make me laugh so much.<P>God Bless you!<P>Jo

Hey Jeremy,<P>Felt the need to jump in. Go see your doc and ask for some anti-deps. You will be glad you did.<P>Yep, just like all of our friends, I lost 15 pounds, 10% of my weight. Hey, I needed to lose it anyway. My girlish figure was starting to go by the wayside. BTW, I'm a guy.<P>I thought sleep was an option and it really took me away from all the great infomercials at night. Hey, I'm going to be a multi-millionare very soon.<P>I own a business and almost lost it because I just didn't care anymore. This was the life long dream I had since I was 20 years old and was going to throw it away. I couldn't concentrate let alone hit the toilet on a consistant basis.<P>The first week was terrible. I called in other guys to work for me. In that week, I killed 3 cases of pounders of beer. Hey, I felt no pain, didn't feel much of anything. If I could have kept this up, I would be fine. It got me thru the week.<P>I was smoking up to 3 packs a day. Something to do. It kept my mind busy thinking of all the ways I could die from the cancer.<P>I finally woke up and so will you. For me, I don't need her to make me happy. I was happy before I met her and will be happy again after the end.<P>Don't rely on someone else to make you happy. Look from within.<P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Tim