<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

There was a review done by <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010263.html" TARGET=_blank>Readers of "Love Must be Tough" - Please Reply</A>…..Roll Me Away….12/1/1999<BR>Check it out!<P>I have always said the same thing...<BR>...Why hasn't Dr. Harley written separate books on Plan A and Plan B?...<BR>...Oh well!<P>In a sense Plan A is covered in the combination of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank> Needs, Her Needs"</A>, <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6030_love.html" TARGET=_blank> Busters"</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6010_give.html" TARGET=_blank> & Take: The Secret to Marital Compatibility"</A><P>...but only <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank> An Affair"(SAA)</A> covers Plan B to any real extent!<P><B>OffOnOnOff</B>...<BR>This may seem harsh...<BR>...but planning for Plan B will make you consider some options...<BR>1. open up separate accounts, savings/checking/etc.<BR>2. move funds that are clearly earmarked for kids education to a separate trust fund<BR>3. Develop a relationship with someone who can act as an intermediary between you and your W<BR>4. Draft the Plan B letter... even if your not moving their right now!<BR>5. Kids must be prepared!!! (Hardest part )<BR>6. Logistics of living arrangements, financial support, and visitations need to be thought out carefully!<BR>7. ...and of course... get that MB counseling going!<P>Prayers... <P>Jim

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

I just have a vent here. She fears coworkers and family finding out??? Your W has little/no regard for your feelings - you owe no protection of hers. She wants you to suffer in silence. If kids were indeed #1 priority she would work on her marriage, quit being so self-centered. You said she fears breaking up his family. HE is the one who made the decision to have A. And my biggest one: Cell phones. I have seen so much on MB posts about cells. When I discovered my H's A via cell phone bill I went into garage the next day and smashed it to bits with a hammer. Your W was angry when you asked her to give hers up -- how angry are you that she continues to use it? (Not recommending that you smash hers, that was my own personal solution)

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>