Let's here it for Allison!!! You go girl!!! <P>I could tell from your post that you were about to bust at the seams and I am so glad to hear that you unloaded on him. It's about time you did that. I know you must feel much better.(Although a little guilt and pity sets in).<P>You did what I hoped you would do and that was to tell him, he-- yes you want him home, that is where he belongs. You both have responsibilitites and comittments to each other and to the children. It is not fair that one of you can so easily shirk those responsibilities.<P>Hooray!!!, I'm so proud of you, my sister of panic attacks... you did a good thing and it won't be taken lightly by him, this I can feel.<P>You can plan A yourself silly when he comes home and he WILL come home. You took the stand and that's what you needed to do. No more mooshy, gooshy, blubbering from here on out. Stay strong, you're doing good.<P>Sometimes we have to let them know that we are sick and tired of this behaviour and we are not going to take it anymore! <P>Can't wait to hear about Thursday!<P>Much love,<BR>Cathy

Me too... Can't wait to hear about Thursday. Let us know how you're doing- I think you did the right thing!

I have to agree that if what you said was calm, honest, and clear, then it was the right thing to do.<P>I have a hard time reconciling the whole Plan A concept with the openness and honesty concept. How do you do both? Plan A doesn't sound very open and honest if it would prevent you from telling the truth about how you feel.<BR>

I agree with TS.I don't think honesty qualifies as a LB unless it's done in a disrespectful, out of control, manipulative manner. You have to have honesty as the foundation for any solid relationship. Great news that H admitted he still has some good feelings left. Coming home and living day to day with the "new" Allison might be all it takes to see those feelings blossom into full blown love again. You did the right thing letting it all out. Now get that chin up!

I do not think honesty in a LB. I have done the samething. My H thinks everyone else should take care of son. He doesnt need to because i have a great support network. Boy does that piss me off. And i end up telling him about it.

Hey Allison-<BR>Anything happened since the other day?<P>Are you ready for tomorrow?<P>Let us know what happens! I'll be thinking about ya!

Allison,<P>I had a counseling session yesterday and our therapist told me loud and clear to ask for what I want and to express how I really feel. To stop protecting his feelings and stop walking on eggshells around him. That I had the right to say what I wanted in a respectful manner (in other words, no screaming, swearing, etc.)<P>The therapist told him what I and others have been wanting to tell him for so long, but didn't in the event that it might push him in the other direction. Well, when we got out of that session, he felt exactly that. But, he told me to schedule the next session, so I guess he is going to try and stick it out. If those very words came from me, it would've been a LB, but it came from a professional. Now he has food for thought, I hope he thinks really hard!<P>You weren't wrong in wanting to tell him how you feel and what you want. And I'm sure it felt sooooooooo good! Thursday will go well!<BR>Take care, MT