I'm bringing this thread back to life...<P>Overall, things have been good with my H. We had "secrecy" issues, which came to a head last weekend (yes, I LBed, and so did he, but the issue was resolved. I'll take "arguing" once every few months over fighting every single day anytime!)<P>This thread makes me smile every time I see it. It's nice to be able to reminisce about the good times...and this is really where my H and I had our turnaround. It made me want to become that girl that he married...I did, and our marriage is loving and carefree like it was in the beginning. Also, posts like <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/006846.html" TARGET=_blank>The Gift of Forgiveness - The Gift you MUST give yourself to Save your Marriage</A> (Thank you Stacey, for sharing your wonderful recovery story! ) have helped me to not dwell on the bad times. I hope this thread helps you like it did me!<p>[This message has been edited by Carolina Belle (edited January 11, 2001).]

Ok belle,<BR>I’ll help bring this back. I favor happy stories. I met my wife freshman year in high school. My locker was next to her first class after lunch. I was smitten from the first day I met her. Needless to say I was late for my next class often. She was perfect, too perfect but I was a coward. We were friendly all through High School but I never felt good enough, She was a straight A student, honor club, student council etc. I’m telling you she was perfect. I tried to give her indications but never got any feed back that made feel like I should go for it. Like I said I was a coward. We graduated and went our separate ways. I went on to college, as did she. <P>As I got older I became much more secure in myself, I vowed not to marry before 30. I’d seen to many mistakes made from the early ones, at that time I had 5 older siblings, all divorced at least once. I dated quite a bit even lived with a woman for a few years but it didn’t work out and I wasn’t the marring type anyway. One night I’m on a date, out dancing in country bar when who walks in I hadn’t seen her in 10 years. We talked, even did a little two step. I decided right then that I wasn’t going to let another 10 years go by with out trying. So I politely said that I’m on a date now and feel awkward in asking under the circumstances but I’d like to see you again. She didn’t believe that I felt awkward and I’ve since learned, she thought I was just a typical womanizing guy, But She Said YES anyway. (We need a little icon that jumps up and down)<P>From there it’s history. I was already in love, had been since freshman year. We dated a few months, lived together 1 ½ years and married. I was 29, almost made 30&#61514; <BR>When I look into her eyes today I see that girl standing in front of my old locker. I’m still absolutely smitten, I love her hopelessly.<P>Carolina Belle, Thank you for making me write this. I’d like to start it over in the recovery group.<BR>

I met my H in the library. I was working nights at the library in my hometown. He moved there after he had graduated from UT (not Texas the original UT). Basically he came in every Mon night, got 2 bks & left before Mon night football, after about a month of this he called the library one night to ask me out, he wasn't ever sure of my name, as their was only one other person there she knew it wasn't for her. I turned him down, I was babysitting for friends that weekend, I had given up on men after a very bad experience, but he asked again for the next wkend, I had been turning down guys for a yr, but for some reason I said yes. I was 24, he 23, we were married with in 10 mths on Aug 30, 1980. <P>Funny thing the yr before when H was co-oping with the company he eventually worked for after college, some guys tried to set me up with him, but I didn't do blind dates, they introduced me, told them I still didn't know him & walked off. He is the only guy I ever dated that I never ever dated someone else at the same time. When he asked me out he didn't relaize I was the same girl, also we found out when we started dating that we were the same religon, &I had lived in his hometown before his parents moved back there. I had seen him play football & basketball, but didn't know it.<BR>

Dancing...ballroom dancing yet! Actually it was love at first sight for me. NO kidding. I was setting against a wall in a dance studio in college and he walked in the doors straight across from me. The moment I saw him it was like my heart lept right out of me and this big booming voice said 'this is the man that you are supposed to spend your life with'. We were waltz partners, you would have to know my H to know how weird that is as he is NOT big on dancing. Another 'friend' told him that he should take the class to meet women, and he met me! To this day I can describe the moment to a tee...what he was wearing and what he did when he walked in. My memory is not so good on alot of other things, but that is still clear as a bell.<P>No matter what has happened in our life, I 'know' without doubt that we ARE supposed to be together. That is something that I thought had wavered in the last year, but it really hadn't. It was just quieter than usual.<P>The interesting thing is that later on we found out that we had met previously when we were just small children. We had the same babysitter! I remember him...and I remember that I didn't like him at all because he was older and got to go outside and eat fig newtons and I had to go take a nap! I guess it WAS just fate that we should meet again.

On Xmas day, 1995, my brother gave me a computer that he built himself. On New Years Eve 1995, I moved out of my druggy, alcoholic boyfriend's trailer and back in with my parents. <P>In October, 1996 I was a bankrupt, depressed, totally heartbroken single mom who had just moved into her own apartment in a gang-infested neighborhood. (I know, I know...break out the violins.) I had been reading about the World Wide Web and was fascinated with it. I went out and bought a 14.4 bps modem and hooked it up to my computer. I logged on to AOL, placed a personal ad, and within a week had met the man who is now my H. (I guess you can see what I really wanted the Internet for <P>He was a shy, sweet, geeky 40-year-old guy who had always lived at home and collected toys and comic books as a hobby. I thought he was interesting and charming, and we started dating in real life. We had a difficult but rewarding courtship (I learned a lot about his ethnicity/culture, learned how to be more patient in general, and started to want a better, more family-values oriented life for my D and I). He was wonderful to my young D and treated her with great respect and generosity.<P>My D and I moved to his hometown in late 1997 and I got a job there, and in Oct. 1998 we were married (the second happiest day of my life, after my D's birth). <P>If I could do it over again, I still would. He is a fine person and has been a tremendously positive influence on my D and I. We have our own language of private jokes and love, and I can't imagine life without him.<P>------------------<BR>"You don't have to be somebody" - Vernon Howard

OK, Belle, I'll start this and see if it's worth adding by the time I get to the end.<P>I met my wife at the White Heron bar in Va. Beach in June, 1980, on a Sunday evening. She was a tourist and I was a local. Danced to oldies played by a DJ and I took her for a walk on the beach afterwards. One kiss, I think. Just another tourist girl.<P>I lived right on the beach in an old beach house with some other guys. She came back to the beach a few more times that summer and we got together when she did. We both dated others until she moved to the beach the next year and we eventually started dating steadily in March 1982. We had a blast - the best few years of our lives. Beach volleyball and sailing. I taught her to crew for me on my Hobie 16 and we got darn good in the local racing circuit.<P>I bought a townhouse for an investment later in 1982 and rented it to her and another girl. The other girl only lasted a few months and when the lease was finally up on the beach house, I moved in with her in my townhouse. We bought a "real" house together in Sept. 1983 and got married in May, 1984. We were married on the same day as another close couple and we had our receptions combined to save money and because we would invite all the same people anyway. Music provided by the same White Heron DJ. Honeymooned also with the other couple - along with eight others from the wedding parties - on a bareboat charter with three boats sailing between St. Lucia and St. Vincent. What a party!<P>WAT

I had just started a new job & became friends with my new boss (a female). Two of her best friends were males, I dated "Tom" first 2 or 3 times, but decided not to continue (I got the feeling my boss was a little jelous and didn't want to deal with the hassles). Then HE started paying a lot of attention to me, which I enjoyed, but didn't really act on right away. We were all out one night and one of the people we were with was using a Crown Royal bag (a little velvet bag that the bottle comes in) as a purse. I commented that I thought it was really cute. The next Monday when I got home from work there was a Crown Royal bag hanging on my door with a note from him saying he was "in the neighborhood, and thought he'd drop it off to me, he gave me his phone number and said to give him a jingle sometime" (kinda corny, but way cute). It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me! He continued to do all kinds of sweet things for me, he would pick me wild roses and bring them to me in his hat, he called me everyday (kinda just like he's doing now). When we'd all be at a party together he'd ask me if I wanted to go for a walk, the first time he took me to a little bridge over a stream & we just talked & talked-man did I want to kiss him that night!! I finially decided I didn't care what my boss thought-he was the kindest, most caring person I had ever met.<P>He proposed to me 6 months after we started dating, what a suprise that was! I have 2 daughters from a previous marriage who until now he has treated and loved like his own. They are much closer to him than they are to their real father.<P>We have had so many good times together over the last 4 1/2 years I can't even begin. Last year for Valentine's Day he cut out 101 hearts from construction paper and wrote something on each one, 101 Reasons Why He Loves Me. (Where did this man go?). Not only am I madly in love with him, he is also my very best friend (double whammy for me right now). I just know that we are meant to be.

These are fabulous stories! I'm glad this thread was revived.<P>Sheba - Thank you sooooo much for the link! Great minds think alike LOL! How are you, by the way? We don't see you much anymore...

My wife and I were both students at UCLA when we met. We both lived and worked in the same dorm. (Uh, oh!) <P>She worked at the front desk, I worked for security. Yeah, I had to do a lot of patrolling around the front desk when she was on duty. (Making sure she was okay!) <P>During the summer of 1989 all of the student staff lived on the same floor. This, of course, was a recipe for trouble. We would always get together at night to drink, watch movies, etc. My wife and I caught each other's eye around the same time, and before we knew it the sparks were flying. I still remember the first time we kissed - my heart never beat stronger!<P>Five years after our first date, I took her back to the parking lot of the residence hall and proposed to her. The rest is history.<P>There have now been FIVE marriages that have come out of our small circle of friends from that summer. Cupid must have been working overtime!<P>Watch out for those co-ed dorms. They can be dangerous! <P>-HD<p>[This message has been edited by HurtingDeeply (edited January 12, 2001).]