Dear aandre:<P>I, for one, DO NOT think it's just a *woman thing*...<P>...specifically, try to imagine how a man might feel if his wife had had an affair?<P>How would he like being *compared* to a younger man? Or, a man that made more $$$? A man with a full head of hair? A man with a rock hard stomach? A man that drove a better/faster car? A man that was young enough/sexy enough/studly enough to do IT twice each and EVERY night?<P>See? It's NOT just a woman thing...it's a *de-valued* thing. It's a feeling of being disposable...rejected...overlooked...stomped on...yesterday's news. But, interestingly enough, these are only feelings/reactions...brought on by our OWN THOUGHTS.<P>And, guess what? Your reactions/thoughts (insecurity) regarding your H's affair may be way "off base". <P>He may NOT have found her more attractive--inside or out. There's a good chance that he NEVER even *valued* her--he most likely fell in-love with how she made him feel about himself--hence, her *bubbly* personality. <P>I think it's important,--not to fixate on how to make yourself better than OW but,--to come to a realization that your H didn't cheat because of WHO YOU ARE, but because of WHO HE IS. It's not about what's WRONG WITH YOU--<B>It's about what was *missing* in him and/or marriage!</B><P>As hard as it may be, I believe you should stop looking within yourself and/or at your own reflection, and instead take a good, long, honest look at your H...and your marriage. What's MISSING for both of you???? What would make each of you HAPPY with each other? <B>How can you both BEST love, honor, and cherish each other...for the rest of your lives together?</B><P>That's the *true* test...that's what we're all searching for.<P>Peace, ~Marie<BR> <P>------------------<BR>"If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars." ~unknown