If you are not actively rebuilding your marriage (and believe me, I am not passing judgement here), and the ball is totally in your H's court, and you have no intention of playing right now, why is it important to deal with these items.<P>I mean I can understand building a bonfire or other creative disposal techniques, but I guess I am just not getting your need to handle these "things" in the context of your marriage.<P>I think we can all agree you need to emotionally divest yourself of this whole situation for now. I just don't see were handling these things will lead to emotional divestment if it includes contact with Bimbette.<P>And you posting here? Your business, but you need support, don't worry about bitterness. Either way, remember to use e-mail )<P>

Hi Wassi,<P>I feel like such a late entry. Sorry busy at work and home. <P>I know how you feel. It is YOUR life and you want control. Please do not feel you have to leave the board though. You should stay as long as you need. I think you give a wonderful view of one segment of how the affair process can play out. I see a wonderful woman who has done everything humanly posable to make her marriage work. I see a very stong wise woman who is willing to do what ever it takes not to hurt anyone.<BR>

Wassi,<BR>I unfortunately know about bitterness. And not wanting to post because events were so depressing.<P>But you, and many others, some right on this thread--FHL, TNT, Peppermint, Samantha--gave me direction, an avenue to healing. It happens that I also got my husband and marriage back.<P>Recovery is no picnic. When a couple reconciles and disappears from here, the temptation is to think "happily ever after", but I usually wonder. And for those that stay, you don't see many smooth roads. There are days I still feel like a broken jigsaw puzzle, I don't even know if I've got all the pieces anymore.<P>You have a right to any choice you make now, whether it is proceed to divorce, try again, or just stop and take care of Wassi. But know that you have friends here, who care, who know how awful this is--or at least know how awful it can be.<P>You are welcome to email me if you want to talk off the board: speirsbk@aol.com<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Hi wassi,<BR>How are you sweetie?<BR>Take good care of yourself NOW!!!<BR>(((((hugs)))))