<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dumplin:<BR><B>Kevan,<P>I understand trying to stand beside a spouse that acts like you aren't worthy. Keep your chin up. In my opinion, you are worthy just because you keep trying and don't give up.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thanks dumplin,<P>Yes, every little bit helps - I also know there is a lot of bitterness coming out in my postings - and I honestly dont feel good about feeling this way.<BR>Guess this is the downward slide on the rollercoaster again, but that means there is sure to be an upswing coming again.....<BR>Hey, I do love my wife you know. It may not sound like it - but yes, I do love her, just dont like the things she is doing.........<P>You positive people here are really a blessing......<P>

Don't worry about the bitterness--you must have not read many of my posts. LOL!! We all have ups and downs. To me this site is a good way to vent my feelings without taking them out on H. I love him, but I sometimes feel like I'm being played for a fool. Like it's all some big game to him. I'm not having a good night so I'm sorry if I sound bitter right now, too. You can check out some of my posts at "Lostva--please reply ASAP" in General questions. Maybe you could offer me some advice tonight.

Hello lovely people out there,<P>I'm sorry, this has just been a bad week - have just been really in a slump - most probably the work scenario making it worse too. <P>Of course I want to get close to my wife at whatever opportunity but have just got very tired waiting and wondering when she is going to come around. <P>It is very difficult right now too - it is exactly a year since she was discovered...<P>We were at the Liquor store after work today and a young guy walks in, she shouts across the store, "Hi, how are you" - I wondered ?? <BR>This guy comes up to us and starts talking to her - no introduction to me though - starts yapping about the company where her and the OM pig used to work - this has happened, that has happened, we walk out the store and they go on talking, she walks straight up to the window of a car and knocks on the window, another young guy jumps out, half drunk, puts his arms around her neck - a big hug and a delighted hello, how are you, oh, we miss you so much, <BR>we miss those beautiful big blue eyes so much, the dumb Accountant we have there now is useless, not like you, you, you were the best<BR>She replies "Yes, I miss you guys so much too, I miss working there so much" <BR>- then - "Oh, by the way, you remember my husband dont you?" replies "Oh, hello" - they go on talking about the company etc., then these guys say "Oh, and OM (they dont know he was OM) has left too, he had enough of the nonsense there too" - <BR>She replies with such surprise - Oh, really, wow....... <BR>Sorry, this I find hard to believe that she didnt know he had left there.... <P>They go on talking about how the company has changed and been unionized, <P>The young guy who is half drunk again says what a beautiful lady my wife is and then turns to me and says "Are you her husband - you have a beautiful wife - you better look after her" I just replied "Yes, I know" <BR>and smiled... <BR>After the goodbyes - I said to her, well it would have been nice if I was introduced, dont you think - then she replies, oh, sorry, I thought you <BR>knew them..... I said no, I have never seen them before, then with obvious frustration she replied "Oh, man, sorry, sorry, sorry, I thought you had"<BR>It was so hard for me, I just bit my tongue, as I very nearly said to her "Dont tell me you didnt know that OM had left the company?" - but knew she would just go off the handle again as she usually does.<P>I suppose I should just ignore all this - but it just opens up wounds all over again..... <P>Got home tonight and I said to her that I notice there is a word missing out of her vocabulary for a while - "lovey" - she used to call me this often - now its hardly even "Kev" anymore - just Kevan - of course the reply was "Oh, please dont start again"<P>