Hi Rick,<BR>This will be my 3rd session with Steve. I usually feel better after talking to him. I talked to the OM wife on Friday night and got some useful information. The rumor was that he had left his marriage...not true as of yet. She said that they were close to that though. <P>You are right that my wife is trying to end this marriage in a hurry. THat was one of the reasons that I found out about the EA. Nobody would be in such a hurry unless there was something motivating them. She says she just realized that she wasn't in love with me and this OM has nothing to do with it! HA HA HA. Nice try!!!<P>You are right...no guarantees. THe odds say that it will end. Most do...some don't. Her best friend (who 6 months ago she was ready to write off)did the same thing 6 years ago and ended up marrying the OM. Guess who my wife is back talking too now??? Spending time with. <P>I wish that there was some magic potion that you could give them to make them wake up...to see how much pain they are causing and maybe have a chance to feel some of it. Maybe then that would realize the severity of what they have done.<P>Mike

<BR>oops...double post...ugh<p>[This message has been edited by mbtrk (edited February 05, 2001).]

Have to throw this one in. A couple that were in our wedding party split over 2 years ago. The woman left the guy on a whim, said it was over, too late, usual stuff. There was no one else, yet she was spending every evening with a guy...imagine that. Oh, but they were just friends, so no problem. So anyway, low and behold, they soon moved in together. Unfortunately, my friend didn't know about MB, so I can see he made some mistakes.<P>But the point is that my wife thought this woman was a despicable disgrace, "how could she do this to him and the kids", "you don't get divorced when you have kids", "you always go to counselling to try and work it out", bla bla bla. She said she never wanted to talk to her again, and we remained friends with the guy, although we haven't spoke in awhile. Well, the two ladies haven't hooked up again, but the similarities in the two affairs are uncanny. I won't even bother with any details, but you can fill in the blanks.<P>Your wife is getting bad advice, no doubt, as is mine. Mine hangs around with single, separated, and divorced people, and wrote off all her good friends. All we can do is wait, hope, and Plan A. We need to be prepared for any outcome, but try to attain the one we want.<P> <p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited February 05, 2001).]

Rick...<BR>Same show...different channel. Although my wife still has the same group of friends, I don't think they all know the truth. Her fab 4 all know as do some people at work. As long as she is happy...that's all that counts. That's the line I get these days. If she loves the OM why not go for it. I'm sure you have heard it all. <P>Yes the other day she said that she had been hanging around with a bunch of divorced women and they were talking about how much happier they were. I said nice roll models! I hope they are really helping you! Talk about stacking the cards against you.<P>I pray that this is one of those things that falls apart right in their faces! I may need a little devine help to pull this off though. They both are in pretty deep. It doesn't look good.<P>Mike

hi all...<BR>just talked to W and it was very nice...about the kids and all. Then the big...have you talked to your lawyer??<BR>I said no. She said that she had filed papers and I could expect them any day. I of course said...it doesn't surprise me. This should make your life with boytoy all the more closer. I know...major LB but what a bi***. Trying to tell me that she needs to end our relationship before she begins another. <P>She has been chasing him for some time and doesn't see her EA as anything close to an affair. I guess I'll have to do some damage control tomorrow...but right now all I want to do is fantasize about something that might get me in trouble. lol<P>Why is it that I love this woman? I guess I don't really love THIS woman...I love the one I married. She is nowhere in sight. The woman that I married would not be capable of causing this much pain.<P>Mike<P>[This message has been edited by mbtrk (edited February 05, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by mbtrk (edited February 05, 2001).]

Do you know the laws where you live with regard to divorce? How long do you have to wait before being separated? Also, if you can prove that your spouse had an affair, does that help your custody case or settlement? Not that you want that, but cold hard reality can help crack the fantasy. In some places, an affair would help you, and proof can sometimes be just the opportunity, not necessarily having proof of anything physical. For example, staying out most of the night with him, being alone together, etc. Might be worth looking into, just in case it can help inject any reality at all into her. Given the freshness of their feelings, it probably wouldn't help anyway, but who knows.<P>Where I live, having an affair has no impact on anything.<P>I'm pulling bigtime for boytoy to not be able to leave his wife, and give your wife the shock of her life.<P>

Hey Rick,<BR>In Maine, it is no fault. The judge only cares what is best for the kids. They don't even want to hear about affairs. My only hope is that I can stall this for awhile without her really knowing it. Unfortunately her lawyer is a real man hater.<P>I also have a good lawyer. I hope it doesn't get nasty, but my inlaws have said don't let her push you around. Do what you have to do. I have a lot of thinking to do now.<P>I would love see boytoy do a complete 180 and decide that it isn't worth it to leave his wife. He will lose bigtime. He will be so broke that he won't be able to afford 29 cent mac and cheese. With a doctors income and 3 kids and a wife who help put him through school... he's screwed. Let's see how much he really wants to leave. He might for a little while, but I can't believe it will be for long. <P>Now if I can not LB and keep my cool, then maybe I can be there when it happens. She deserves to feel some of this pain.I'm just afraid that if I have to fight in this divorce that it will be tough not to LB.<P>Mike