Hi Cloudy:<P>I must have missed this post the first time around but I wanted you to know that what your WS is doing is exactly what mine did when he was making the break from OW the first time (it didn't take). He would tell her he was coming over to see the kids a couple of times a week...and a lot of the time they wouldn't even be there...this made her so mad....and she couldn't do anything about it...then when they would fight he would show up at home..finally after he had made several attempt to leave her, she dropped him off at my house one day and later that day got drunk and drove herself and her kids into a tree. He pulled free of her while she was in the hospital.<P>Now my WS is weak and he went back and continues to go back to her, but I think you have a real chance to make it with your WS. Just keep your Plan A going before and after he comes back. If I had had MB back them I might have been able to keep my WS from going back to her...because right then he was sick of her. He still gets sick of her and she disappears for months at a time but keeps coming back.<P>Oh, by the way...she has gotten married two times since she and WS met...so OW's separation from H doesn't necessarily mean WS will marry her. Keep up the good work.<P>Faye<p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited May 03, 2001).]

Well- Ow and her H go to court tomorrow for their divorce. My H was served his subpoena yesterday at my house. Also subpoenaed was a friend of my H's that helped them by getting OW a cell phone so they could talk. This friend called before my H was served, so he did have a little warning. Friend is very angry! Cussing my H and telling him that he should never have been involved. H apologized, told him that he was sorry any of it ever happened- if he had it to do over again, he never would have gotten involved with her.<P>H is pretty nervous. Though he has been trying to prepare himself for this possibility, I don't think he really thought it would happen. So, now they know for sure that they have been caught. Don't know if this will make a difference in their relationship, but my H hates this kind of conflict and chaos- I can just imagine him having to take the witness stand and talk about the A. I wonder if all of his "alien speak" will continue on the stand? And if it does, will the attorney point out how stupid it sounds?<P>PTC continue. There is still a possibility that they will settle out of court this afternoon. Time will tell!<P>Oh- and guess what? Ow apparently read her horoscope the other day and it said something about a secret being revealed. She asked my H if the secret was that he is moving back in with me. How's that for a secure relationship?

Cloudy,<P>Horoscope? Just one comment: OW sounds like a behemothic nutball from the furthest reaches of the known universe.<P>Maybe she and your H will be a good match?!<P>((hugs to you))<P>belldandy

And a question-<BR>Should I share with H the info I got from the detective?<BR>She is telling my H that her main concern is the relationship her kids have with their dad- yet there have been cell phone conversations of oldest daughter and OW plotting ways to get OW's H angry enough for him to hit one of them so they can have him arrested.<P>It seems that my H is not the only man in her life- a boyfriend that she lived with about 20 years ago has been at her house several times when her kids were not home- no spend the night, and no proof, but??? He has been there for several hours at a time at night.<P>One of OW's friends told her H that she has been using drugs- something about oldest daughter finding out one Sunday afternoon, calling a friend to come pick up youngest daughter cuz OW was so messed up- big fight between OW and daughter, resulted in several of her friends from church showing up at her house.<P>This is all in contrast to the deeply religious, world's greatest mommy persona that she presents to my H. I have always thought it very strange that she has always had to be the one to call him- he had no way to get in touch with her. Even now, she has a new cell phone- if she doesn't want to talk to him, she turns the phone off, he generally doesn't call her on the home phone- she asked him not to????<P>So, do I share this info? Or assume that he will see it on his own when he's ready?

Cloudy,<P>Silence is golden.<P> <P>belld!!!!!

Well, everyone showed up at the court house, sat around staring at each other for a couple of hours and then the case was continued until sometime in July. But, OW had to tell her family and a couple of friends about the A.<P>So, little by little it's coming out. H thinks that OW's attorney will tell her to cool it with him until after the court date (child custody is an issue). Guess I will continue Plan A a while longer and hang on for the ride.