Survivor<P>Thanks for the compliment. I guess I'm living proof that the old saying *what doesn't kill you makes you stronger* is accurate! <P>Terri<P>As for the friend, I totally believe everything he said. He isn't the type to say those things just to get even. Plus I know he struggled with telling me to begin with. I did happen to call his g/f and she told me how she had to convince him to call me. What he said is what he heard and saw. The problem is now getting to the reason my H is doing what he is doing.<P>I believe there is some emotional and financial blackmailing going on. She continues to tell him how he has screwed up her life. She also has threatened a number of times to walk out of the bussiness and leave him high and dry. It's all to keep him involved with her. I'm not saying my H isn't willing, it's just that I am beginning to think she is pushing for him more than he is pushing for her. Plus OW knows PLENTY that could put H is BIG trouble. We have talked about that before. He has told me he doesn't think she would roll over on him because she would end up putting herself in deep trouble if she did. Actually as his wife I am the only one that could do any real damage without fear. <P>I don't feel like I am in any physical danger. Nor are my children. If I did I would be on the first plane, train, whatever out of here. <P>No, husband is not Italian, but does have that *wise guy* attitude about family. I know if anyone even thought about looking at any of us cross eyed he'd go nuts. And yes, H does feel the way you describe. He tells me constantly and did both times he was working on moving back home *that it's the way things end up in the end that matters, and what ever it takes to get there doesn't matter and I shouldn't be concerned about that*.<P>I agree, his coming home this past time seemed like the *right* ending to our story. But I guess what is right and the way things end up aren't always the same.<P>Thanks for being there for me Terri. You have been there since I found MB and it gives me such a good feeling to know you are in my corner and care. <P>Belldandy<P>I am not afraid of anyone hurting me physicaly. I have very good instincts and if I had even a glimmer of fear I would get out so fast heads would spin!<P>I too am wondering just how much is fear vs love on my H's part in the affair at this point. My only real stumbling block is if it was fear I would think he would have told me by now, if for no other reason than to just assure me that is all it is. But then again he the macho type. This whole thing is SO CONFUSING!!! <P>Thanks bell. <P>Hi Infidelity<P>Thanks for the PI tips. I'll be sure to get him tagged and make sure the PI understands that I want photos, video, and audio if possible.<P>Hope<P>I guess the patience comes from being in this mess for so long. Although I was never very patient prior to all of this, it is certainly something I have learned in its wake.<P>I have no problem spending money on a PI. I don't consider it a waste of money because hard evidence will be the only way to get him to admitt and his admittance is important to me, regardless of how things end up.<P>I won't say what kind of work he is in only because I have been tipped off that the OW posts to an OW group and if I give too much personal info she will know who I am. At this point all she can do is assume. The possibilities of him moving the bussiness are not good. But ya never know.<P>She has been giving him a HORRIBLE time since he came back the last time. And I wonder how much of his actions towards her are the way they are to take the preasure off of him?<P>I have been the queen of snooping! If there is a way to find something out I have done it! I'm just at the point where I'd rather have someone else do it for me. Less stress on me with the same outcome, hard evidence.<P>I have suggested to H many times to just bring papperwork home for me to do. He insists that will not work due to the nature of the bussiness (I do agree with that to a point) and the fact OW currently handles all of the papper work for the bussiness. So I don't see that happening as long as she is still involved in the bussiness.<P>Thanks again to everyone!!!<P>FC<P>