Hi Terri,<BR>I've been out of town and completely missed the beginning of this thread...which is just as well even though you & I "know" each other, because I may have said some of the same things that were hurtful to you...and I would NEVER intentionally hurt you.<P>I think the posters were trying to help, but you're right that sometimes the you shoulda/coulda/I woulda isn't as helpful as we would wish it to be.<P>Anyway, I recall a couple/several? months ago your H told you he would help you sort through some of his stuff and price it and you could keep the proceeds? Does that ring a bell? Is he now saying he wants the stuff that at that time he was considering you should have the money for, since he hasn't done much about financial support for you?<P>I think a reminder to him of that conversation wouldn't be a bad thing. If you can, check with a lawyer, but the fact that the stuff has been in your possession for over 2 years and he has abandoned (ouch, sorry to use that word) you, I think legally (and I'm nothing like a lawyer ) you would be the owner. Storage providers take possession usually after 30 days of not receiving rent.<P>Take care, sweetie, I would hate for you to disappear from MB.

I don't know what to say anymore about all of this. I deeply appreciate all the support I have received from people here in the past, and now.<P>I reread my message and would say all of it again except maybe the last part... It sounded just a little bit like I succombed to the tantrum after all. But I don't know what to do about feeling uncomfortable talking about my issues when it is very true that I have taken a different path than many would believe I should have.<P>It is not that I disagreed with any advice I got, it is that I asked for something very specific and never actually got a response (before my message from last night) that addressed the question I asked.<P>Either it is Harley Plan B - designed to say everything necessary without Love Busters, or it is not. On the one hand I am told I have been in Plan A too long, but on the other I am advised not to worry about what I put in the letter, just write one... Well, is it Plan B or is it just giving up and telling him to %~@^ off? Personally, I'm not interested in telling him to %~@^ off, so that leaves me with Plan B. And it isn't Plan B if the letter tells him the things that need to be said in terms which are mean and nasty.<P>So I am stuck. I made it through a horrible week at work with not one ounce of extra energy or emotional stability. Not because of my marriage or my husband - though that didn't help - but just because I am so busy with so many different things going on and simply reached the end of my rope.<P>I needed help and came here for it ... I was disappointed with the response, and overreacted badly to it. For that, I am sorry. I guess for my help on this I will turn back to my books and see what I find there.<P>Thanks to everyone for writing. I'm not going away, I'm just going to be quiet for a bit.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Hi Terri,<BR>I'm not sure whether to post or not. I replied to your previous thread and described some results I've seen from my own loosely modelled plan B. I realize our circumstances are worlds apart, and I'm not sure if what I wrote was helpful or not. In my pseudo plan b, I never wrote a letter. I think the shift in attitude is more important than words in a letter. For a while I let my actions say everything for me. Words never had much effect on my H. I apologize for posting without knowing all your details. It sounds like you've been separated for a while. Perhaps the words for a letter will flow more easily if you could describe how your plan b looks different from what you have now?