AM Hurt, I just saw your post, and wanted to respond to you. I am at work now, so I will respond tonight. Please know dear sister, I am praying for you right now. May the Lord bring you His peace that passes all understanding. I know you've probably heard it before, but I do understand how you are feeling. Been there. Keep your eyes lifted up to the Father.

AM,<P>I know your pain all so well. Give your anger to God.He is more than able to handle it. I was so angry at the world for so long that it almost killed me. God is the only one who can help you with your anger. <P>None of us are blameless. We all have played our part. We are to be at peace with one another and let God take care of the blame in His way and His time. <P>My husband did a lot of things wrong in our marriage and I was always ready to tell him about the errors of his ways. What I had to learn was that maybe I was right about a lot of the things but, I was playing God by trying to tell him what he was doing wrong. I had to look at my sins and leave my husbands sins to the Lord. I know today that it is not my job to train my husband...it is the Lords job.PTL !<P>The books from from this site helped me to understand this and all so much more. If you want a marriage like God meant for us, men and women, to have, then please go here and read the testimonies and order the book. <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org/home.shtml" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org/home.shtml</A> <P>I pray you go and let God speak to you.<P>In Him,<BR>gentle <p>[This message has been edited by gentle (edited April 09, 2001).]

Alcoholic's Wife and Gentle,<P>Thank you for your kind and caring words and especially for your prayers. I was manic the other day and it helped to vent here.<P>I'm much better today and give all praise and glory to God for He sent His wisdom my way through you, Alcoholic's Wife and the counselor. <P>The counselor said to me the morning I responded to your post, "I don't think your husband has ever experienced the true grace of God." (which I agree with) and then he said to me,"I think you did know the grace of God at one time." Talk about cold water in the face! I got sick at my stomach and had to leave work! He is right! I do know the grace of God and His tender mercies but I had forgotten them in my anger! You'll never know what a blessing that rebuke was! The anger left me and I could think clearly. <P>Did I ever learn a major lesson. Christ modeled the perfect life for us, He shows us peace but we have to seek Him. I was so caught up in my "pity party" that I was blinded. Pride did a tap dance on my brain and I enjoyed the journey. Whew! <P>I did some major complaining about Plan A and felt it was just keeping me in an abusive situation. The problem was it wasn't Plan A. It was Plan Try to Be Nice but Explode at the Least Little Thing...also known as Plan Don't You Remember All the Terrible Things You've Put Me Through So Now Grovel at My Feet. Terrible plans...don't work. <P>Thank you for you post, Alcoholic's Wife. I read it anticipating a sister who I could complain to, a sister who had endured and could share war stories with me...instead I got the love of Christ, which I needed. Bless you..Thank you...<BR>

AM Hurt, Praise God for His love for us, and sending us ministering angels to speak His truth to us. I am so glad you are feeling better. It sounds like you are getting some of that joy back. I do understand the feeling of "Plan Don't You Remember All the Terrible Things You've Put Me Through So Now Grovel at My Feet"..... been there and done that! I do struggle with bitterness and resentment of the way I was treated and I have to give that sin over to the Lord regularly and ask for forgiveness. The Lord reminds me that my husband's sin is no greater sin than the sins I have committed, and that once I forgave him, I must "remember it no more". The more I praise Him, the better the day goes.<P>It is amazing how God uses this board and others to speak to our hearts. MB has been a great blessing to me, and I am so thankful for all who post here and have helped me during my times of grief and heartache. God bless,<P>AW<BR><I>"But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold."</I> - Job 23:10