Grandpabri--the nickname is funny. Reminds me of the guy that posted a long time ago about being the plutonic sex buddy of a married woman. I assume he meant "platonic" but...? As if "platonic sex buddy" was not pea-brained enough.<P>I've snickered about that for a long time.

Forgot to add this one:<BR>I emailed her and she told me, "I told you I don't want to be involved in this."<BR>Excuse me, but rationally thinking, Did she not involve herself a long time ago? Where exactly are these people's minds? And more importantly why do they think they have any right to ask anything of betrayed spouses...The lines of what is appropriate were erased a long time ago!!!!!!

You guys!!!<BR>I was having a bad day. This has made it 10 times better!!!!<BR>Grandp!!! ROFLMAO....I'm changing my name for OM from "boytoy" to f***pal...!!!!<BR>Keep it up everyone. I'm telling you there is a book in this somewhere!!!<BR>Mike

I'm divorced, so I hope it's okay to use one of my ex-H's OW and her worst line - <P>It came from OW #2 as she and I sat in the park, she holding her Bible:<P><B>"He loves us both"</B><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited March 08, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>"plutonic sex buddy"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>So this guy is from Pluto or he looks like Pluto? <P>

I just popped over from recovering, I hope you don't mind my butting in but I can't help it.<P>OW is older, fat, no education (well like 9th grade).<P>She got really mad at my H for still having sex with me (his wife!)<P>She really dogged her H for cheating on her.<P>I know of about 10 men she has slept with in about a 2 year period--not including her H.<P>She's the worst kind of sl***y who** there is.<P>Oh and she wanted to kick my a** for ruining her marriage (what! you were sleeping with MY H!)<P>Everytime my H tried to break it off, she would say "Oh, I feel so guilty, I wouldn't feel right until I tell your wife what's been going on."<P>Well, I got some good revenge, I'm just sorry her poor H had to be at the worst of it.<p>[This message has been edited by very hurt (edited March 08, 2001).]

<BR>I like this topic. Unfortunately, I've only had the misfortune of meeting one of the 5 (yes, 5!) OM that I'm aware of. I was unprepared at the time, so he survived the experience.<P>The OM that STBXW was most involved with is known around here as Richard Cranium. My D is in process, and the day I get the call to tell me I'm divorced, Mrs. Cranium is going to get an anonymous phone call explaining Richard's activities over the last 3 or so years.<P>--<BR>o2bsane@hotmail.com<BR>

I could go on & on but I'll only summarize by saying I've seen puddles with more depth and character.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by o2bsane:<BR><B><BR>I like this topic. Unfortunately, I've only had the misfortune of meeting one of the 5 (yes, 5!) OM that I'm aware of. I was unprepared at the time, so he survived the experience.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>LOL. I only met mine once, at their common place of employment, before I found out what he and my wife had been up to. His last phone call came after my wife and I were well into recovery. She immediately told me, and I called him right back. I suggested that I was in need of target practice and thought he would make an excellent target. It's now been some months and he seems inclined to not take me up on my suggestion, so if you need to borrow my "preparation" some time it looks like I may not need it .<P>OM had a spare tire, less education than me, made a lot less money, and smoked dope every night to cope. After the affair became known, both my wife and he lost their jobs, and I don't think it was a coincidence. I understand that he had been employed there for well over a decade, so sometimes they do get what they deserve even without the help of we BSs .<P>Steve

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by StillHers:<BR><B>I suggested that I was in need of target practice and thought he would make an excellent target.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>ROFL!<P>Spoken with a Hannibal Lecture-ish accent:<P>"Now be very still, so the apple doesn't roll off your small, pointy head...there's a sport!"<P>Actually, I go back and forth on the idea of wishing ill on the OMen. On the one hand, it could have been anybody, and in several of the cases, it was just anybody my W found convenient. On the other hand, they really are nothing more than a waste of skin. The world would most likely be a better place if, at the very least, the people around them could know what they really do when they're not being watched. I'm quite sure that at least one of the OM (married, with children) has gone on to victimize other women, and do I or don't I have a moral obligation to, at the very least, let his W know what a degenerate he is?<P>Sigh.<P>--<BR>o2bsane@hotmail.com<BR>

This is too good. My SO also said that I would like her if I knew her. He also said that one of his buddies (one of her X's) told him that she always had a few married guys on a string especially around Xmas. But my favorite is how he used to bring up her name (before I found out about them) and say that we should fix her up with one of our mutual friends. Well, while plan B was in affect, our mutual friend went up to HIM and said, "hey, if I get a choice, I'd much rather have Twyla!! She's a great woman!!!" Yes, I confess, I put him up to it! tee-hee!<BR>T

You know, I used to be pretty angry at my XW's OM...but then I thought about it a bit...<P>I feel sorry for this guy. I mean, she made the first move on him! Caught him at an emotional low point (what with his own M falling apart), and dragged him into her pitiful life.<P>What does he get for his trouble? Mmmm, lets see:<P>A woman who is bringing a double dose of issues to their relationship. After all, she hasn't really recovered from the guy from whom she was on the rebound when she met me...now she has that AND me to deal with! I was burdened with tales of how terrible her XBF was...now this guy has to deal with ME. <P>I was the only man who never cheated on her, never lied to her, never broke her heart. I was the father her D never had, the stable, sane, balancing influence in her life. The man who helped her rise from welfare and food stamps to a respectable career in managment. The one person in her life who never let her down.<P>This poor guy doesn't see what's coming. The girl he always liked in high school...the girl of his dreams, has become the woman of his nightmares...he just doesn't know it yet.<P>Yes, he's her "soul-mate," but he has no idea what a tortured soul she really is. Only after a few years will he realize that she's in need of about 10 years of quality therapy, but by then it will be too late.<P>I almost feel like warning him...the poor guy!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by cjack (edited March 08, 2001).]

I called my wife last week (at my daughters request.) Ol’ wankboy answered the phone. First time ever speaking with/to him.<P>“Let me speak to my wife!”<BR>“Huh?”<BR>“Let em speak to my wife!”<P>Afterwards, I thought of all the lines I could have/should have used.<P>“Huh?”<BR>“So you’re not only a jerk, you’re an idiot too!”<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

My OW called me once after she found out he spent the night here, I was nice to her, but told her that I still love him and that I'm not going to stop. She said-he still loves you too you know (Ok, then if she knows that, just where exactly does she think she's going to get w/him???).<P>Also, she told him that she's been going thru a lot of sh#$ because of him sleeping w/me!!<P>Sucks to be her, doesn't it?

I love this post. I needed a laugh and you all have given me one.<P>The entire 3 years that my wife was denying the A she was telling me what a nice guy "Loverboy" was and that I would like him if I just got to know him. Lets see, when my W met him he as cheating on W #2 with a local TV newscaster that was also married. He had also been carrying on a multi-year A with another woman. Shortly after my W met him he dumped the newscaster, divorced W #2, and settled into the A with just my W and his other long-term woman. He then married the other long-term woman and made her W #3. That marriage lasted all of six months. He continued to carry on the A with my W during his third marriage. Sounds like a wonderful guy doesn't he? Just the kind of person I would love to get to know and have as a friend. NOT!!! After the A was over my wife says, "I didn't realize he was that kind of guy". I know we have thick fog here in Maine, but she must have been in one h*ll of a fog bank the last 3 years.<BR> <BR>After he divorced W #2, he used his two daughters, that he was now raising alone, as a way to get closer to my W. She felt obligated to help him "for the girls sake". I guess she felt obligated to sleep with him too. I'm sure that wasn't for the girls sake. <P>He also used his Bi-polar disorder to suck my wife in more. She was his "support" person when he was having a bad day. I often wondered how that worked. Did he call my W up and say something like, "I'm having a bad day. I need some support. How soon can you be here for sex?" Perhaps she had to support "other things" and that's why she masturbated him so much. <P>The sad part is, through someone who has known this guy for over 20 years I have found out that this is his standard mode of operating. He finds a woman who is a little insecure, who may or may not be married, than he befriends her and finds out which of her needs is not being meet and exploits it for his own gain. In my wife's case, she says it was the need to be needed. Sadly, my W will not be the last person he uses, nor will our marriage be the last one he leaves in shambles when his game is over.<P>Archer<BR><p>[This message has been edited by archer (edited March 09, 2001).]

Archer,<P> Sounds like you have the makings of a really GOOD SOAP OPERA going there. You could make a bundle.!!! ha ha<P> I won't be watching it though, I hate soap operas'.<P><BR> <P>------------------<BR>Deb

Hello all,<P>I don’t want to spoil your fun here, but it doesn’t matter whom you are talking about whether it is about the OM or the OW, it is still your spouse that you are talking about. From my point of view the lady’s spouse at the other end is the OM and from her point of view, my wife is the OW from this end. So you are making fun about the OM or the OW, indirectly you are making fun about your own spouse.<P>Do you want to have the OM or the OW making fun about us? I don’t think you want to hear that. <P>That is my 2 cents.<P>OOP <BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OutOfPain:<BR><B><BR>Do you want to have the OM or the OW making fun about us? I don’t think you want to hear that. <P>That is my 2 cents.<P>OOP </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Whether we want them to or not, they are. I don't know your story, but for many of us, this is a way to deal with the pain that has been inflicted upon us. So lighten up, OK?<P>Chris: I used to get the same thing with the phone. Except f**kbuddy would refuse to let me speak to anyone I asked for until I talked nice to him. That stopped when I put in the court papers that he was interfering with my visitation with my children. Now, he threatened me with bodily harm during our last transfer time. Holding that one in reserve. No brains, no headaches.<P>

Here's another good one I was privy to last night at our first counseling session together:<BR>H to counselor: "I don't know why she (me) wants to do harm to her (OW). She's (OW) really a good person who only does good for others and wouldn't want to hurt anybody."<P>Definition: "good person" - enjoys sex with me and doesn't ask anything of me. She thinks I'm a wonderful guy.<P>Also, H is very angry with me because

How many of you were asked by your WS to be friends with their OP? I don't get it. H said again last night. You (wife) & OW hate each other. You both have good qualities, why can't you see the good in each other? This is not the first time I have been asked to look for her good qualities. I have even been asked to be her friend. H says I should be happy that he didn't pick a bad person. WHAT?!?!? If she is such a good person (no prior convictions - yet, but encourages and commits adultery on a regular basis), then what am I (the faithful spouse)? Should we even be compared on the same level? <P>No offense to the OW/OMs that are in recovery but I just don't get the reason to compare. So after giving it more and more thought I decided that the next time this 'subject' is brought up, I will tell H: 'ok, I am willing to see OW's good qualities, let's meet with her so I can see them like you do.'<P>What do you all think?<P>L.<BR>