I agree that admitting that one has "feelings" for another is a sure fire way to initiate an affair. I disagree, however, as attempting to label it as "honesty". Whether it be blatant or subconscious, I think that it's a way of "testing the waters" so to speak to see if the other person feels the same way. And, in doing so, it can definitely be interpreted as an invitation.<P>This is exactly the way my H opened the door for his affair. He admitted to OW that he had feelings, then (he said) tried to distance himself from her. Well, she took it as an open invitation, and pursued him relentlessly. He caved in because his weak ego could not withstand the flattery.<P>I have also been in work situations with men where there was "chemistry". In almost every case they were married. I was never as much as tempted because I knew that it was a recipe for disaster. And, I found the fact that they were coming on to me while married to be revolting!! All I could ever think was if they're doing this to their wife, they'll do it to me too. I guess that's why I've never had an affair.

smidgen, you wrote: <B>Just be careful. Your situation is riskier than you seem to think.</B><P>Thank you for your concern... but part of the reason I brought the issue up here was because I DO take it quite seriously and I KNOW how risky the situation is. I am not taking it lightly at all.<P>I'll post again soon in response to others ... but I wanted you to know that I recognize the precarious position I am in.<BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>