<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I know how you feel. I wasn't paying much attention and one day I just "noticed". After that point every suspicious thing I saw drove me crazy. The thing is, I could imagine a reasonable explanation for all of them, separately. So I never wanted to accuse her of anything because I might actually be imagining things.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Heh. This scenario isn't just about online affairs. This describes to a T what I went through when I realized that my H going out 4 nights a week after work with his work friends and never inviting me wasn't quite normal.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>In my case W has never denied talking to people, but I think she hasn't been totally honest about all the stuff that has been going on. Maybe she's protecting my feelings because she thinks I'll misinterpret something innocuous.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Or maybe she knows she's doing something wrong, but since she can't put her finger on it as an affair, it's easy to justify it by saying to herself that she's protecting you.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I tried snooping and it did not make me happier. You'll notice several of the replies above mention it, but only as part of an agreement to improve trust. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thank you. You are the first person here other than myself to realize that snooping accomplishes nothing (unless you find what you think you'll find). All it does is give you the ILLUSION of control.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>After coming here I realized that there are things *I* need to work on regardless of what's going on with her. (I assume you've been around the rest of the MB site) We still have lot's of love in our marriage and I'm doing my best to increase it so she won't want to go elsewhere! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Bingo! That's what this site is all about. We can't control what our spouses do, we can only control what we do. Sometimes going through this helps us look inside ourselves and improve ourselves a bit too.<BR>

Jabber,<P>In April I went online looking for help and found dozens of sites that talked about internet addictions and EA's. I read literally hundreds of personal stories. I thought they were talking about me! (didn't dlm say that too?). Fortunately, we have not reached the end that many of those stories did, and I'm thankful for that. <P>This was the only place I found that offered help (rather than just a warning) -- and IT IS helping. <P>*THANK YOU ALL*<P>W will come here today. Please welcome her.<P> - J

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> W will come here today. Please welcome her.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Perhaps I’ll see what she has to say, and let her know what MY little ‘net “friendship” with a woman turned into, and how it very nearly destroyed my life.<P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die