Endevor,<P>Just to point out a one very important thing: the XOW tracked her lover to this website, to this forum, to his own thread. After he insisted on no contact. This speaks for itself. Don't you think?<P>As for the rest of [H's] posts, these are his feelings and his impressions of the A he was in. He has very openly admitted his own guilt. And he has also very openly admitted the XOW's guilt as well; he did not defend her, say that she was a swell person, or engage in any other fog-speak.<P>Sure, [H] did a really crappy thing. But XOW did, equally so. Difference is, I see one person trying to break contact and work on his marriage, and another person who is determined to keep her foot in the door.<P>belld

Hi [H] & K,<P>I am glad to see you both on your way to recovery. It is an awful experience one that I would never wish on anyone. If you have both learned from this then you have taken life's lemons and made lemonade. <P>[H], you are by no means exempt from all the hurt you caused your W. But repentance and forgiveness are within the heart and hands of your W. You both have the ability to rebuild your marriage. For this, I am happy for the both of you. I encourage both of you to work hard, do not take each other for granted. Days will come and things will settle back to a normal routine but never take each other for granted. Love like there is no tomorrow. <P>There are many ways to show love. Love is an action word not just a tingly feeling nor is it only an erotic emotion. Show the enduring type of love that will let the both of you age gracefully. <P>Take Care, <BR>L.<BR>

Endeaver,<P>This is an interesting post. I almost want to say right off the bat that this is (OW) or (OWH)<P>I find this interesting, because you have some deep seeded angst towards me. You specifically attack me with "Poor baby [H]"<P>You specifically make reference to the lying above. Like you know exactly what was said, and this is your way of telling me as (OW) that you've come clean with your husband.<P>So your defending, and thats fine. Either your (OW) and defending your self. Or a complete stranger defending her. Look at what I've written, theres a lot of negativity towards (OW) on my end. <P>Yes it's there because at first I did look for someone to blame. However the person at blame is me. There was manipulation on both ends. However I personally don't believe I manipulated her the way she did me.<P>But theres some positiveness as well. I said, let her get the help she needs. Marriage builders isn't a first come first serve site with me. I was her first, so what. Doesn't mean (OW) shouldn't be given the help I am getting. However if she does and continues to be bothersome to me. Then it does destroy the integrity of a site here, and I would appreciate her leaving.<P>I never told her to get a divorce. I never told her I was going to leave her, unless she left her husband. She is and was always in contact with him. This is not what she was doing to me. She was telling me. Leave your wife, or I am leaving you. I will play second to no one. I wont be your second choice [H] <P>Now if you're (OW) stand before god and tell me you didn't say those things. And if your (OW) again, you've disrespected my wishes of staying away, and leaving me alone, I don't want contact with you, ever, not now, not later, not ever. It's simple.<P>If you are not (OW) then I apologize but you really don't know all the details here, you don't know that there was some serious manipulation on her end. I was not innocent, and I am taking my blame, owning my part as best as I can. It's difficult, but in the end, I will get past all of this, and my marriage will grow as a result.<P>I'm not looking for a pat on the back here. The credit goes to my wife. I spoke of that last night. She's the one that had undying love for me, she's the one that was always there for me with support, love and understanding. Credit also goes to my friends and family. I am one blessed person to have such great people around me.<BR> <BR>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.<p>[This message has been edited by [H] (edited June 13, 2001).]

Endevor,<P>Are you new to MB? I would like to clarify my post. Yes, the OW was flamed. You need to know that some OWs have been coming to this site not to ask for help or help others but for other unscrupulous reasons. This particular OW has been here before under another name and even at that time her actions were questionable. <P>This site accepts and allows all to have freedom of comment. However, what is not appreciated are those who come to pretend to be good yet spread hurt or other malicious reasons. <P>Not all OWs or OMs that come here are here for that bad intend. Many come to learn and heal, this is ok. Those who come to hurt will find that their true motives are recognized and often they do not stay long since this environment does not encourage or feed on such behavior. There are other sites which promote the OP attitude. MB is not one of those. <P>I too was taken in by the original post by this OW, I was the one that posted to her original thread a few weeks back. It certainly does not feel good to give out of good faith and find out their motives are not the same. <P>This A thing is a game to many OPs but here it is treated as a serious problem in the family arrangement and dealt with accordingly. Please understand it was not my intent to hurt anyone, just letting this one know her ways have been exposed. <P>L.

I have done some truely hurtful things to my wife. Things I can't possibly describe words of sorrow for. Things I can't possibly express how sorry I am for. These things I did alone. These are choices and mistakes I made. These are choices and mistakes I made alone.<P>These things are also influenced by other people, but in the end I made the choices. I have to deal with my mistakes, and that is what I am doing. I can truely never express how sorry I am to my wife for the (A)<P>All I can say is I am here now, I will do what I can to reassure you, and myself, that things will get better. I can make and take steps to strengthen our communication. I can take steps in her mind, that help rebuild that trust I destroyed between us. I am taking this these steps, and I am making these new choices to help grow, learn, and communicate.<P>She asks me questions, I gave her answers. She asks for reassurance on my part, I reassure her of us. Anything I can do for her, to help ease her mind is a blessing to me. Anything I can say, any questions I can answer. Any questioneers I can fill out, any people I can talk with. These are all postive things. I do these willingly I do these with hopes and desires that we will get past this. I do these things for me, because its my choice, its my desire to do so. I want our marriage to work. I want my wife and I to be happy again. I want that friendship we had in the beginning. I want to be closer then we ever have in the past. I want a lot of things.<P>I am at fault for the (A) I know and understand that. I take responcibility for my (A) It happened. I can learn from this. The (A) was the biggest mistake in my life, I ever made. It's not something I can change or erase. It's not something we will ever forget.<P>This is positive. As much as I would like to say, lets for get about it. That's only because I hurt her, only because its pain. Pain and hurt will heal. Now that we see what we should and shouldn't have done in our marriage. Its so easy to see what we can, and will do.<P>You can turn a mistake around and use it to your advantage, you can learn a grow as a result. So you don't do things the same, so you don't continue to hurt your loved ones in the future. So you can and will achieve anything you want together. It's so simple, and I get that now. I wished I knew everything I do right now. <P>But some of lifes important lessons are often the hardest to learn.<P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.

I chose to make lemonade out of the lemons I was given...

Ishmael,<P>I left many logs, emails, and such on my computer as well. Thats primarily how my wife discovered my (A). The start of my (A) wasn't manipulation or anything, it was very innocent. I was friends with (OW) to start with. So we didn't do any manipulation until we were allready in the affair. I lived and dreamed everything she said to me. Every kind word I hung on. Everything loving phrase was my whole world. When I did things she didn't care for, she grabbed my puppet strings, and made me dance. With a few well placed words like "I will play second to no one." That statement really made the diffrence for me at times, she knew that. As I tried to defend it to her, saying, you aren't second, your first. I started to believe that.<P>She bashed my wife, and I too started bashing my wife. I really didn't have any merit to bash her husband. I just said I would have done things diffrently. <P>Added<BR>---<BR>I did find some opportunites to bash on him tho, and I did some negative things. I just didn't know him well enough to say. Wow this guy is this or that. I didn't hear about him much, so its tough to say, he's a bad guy, or he's this or that. She didn't talk about him all that much.<BR>----<P>So I can relate partially. The manipulation came later in the game, not at the start because we had been friends for 2 years prior to this. She never had reason to manipulate me, until during the affair, when I went home and I told my wife I was going to work things out with her the first time. She was very angry with me, very upset that I was even sleeping in the same bed with my wife, that I was talking to her. So I promptly moved to the couch, and then I moved out soon after that. I'm not sure which one of us intitiated the (A), It doesn't even matter who initiated it to me. It happened, I take my part in it equally. <P>I dont think the situation is much or all that diffrent then most (WS's) Subtle differences sure. In the big picture no..<P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.<p>[This message has been edited by [H] (edited June 13, 2001).]

My DH is so deep in a fog that he openly admits that he is not ready to totaly separate from OW. We are still living together and I have been in Plan A for 2 1/2 months. He says he loves me and our family, does not want to loose me, but cannot give her up. He comes home each night and pretends like everything is normal. It kills me to look into his eyes knowing that he is still talking to her and seeing her. Please tell me how to survive the deep pain that he causes me each day. Are any of you experiencing this and if so how have you handled it?

Well [H], <P>Quite the thread to wade through, and it has all the earmarks of a good novel -- including the OW posting and your (knock me over with a feather) admission of being aeon blue. Jeez, man, I thought you were dying!! You had me so worried!! You don't have me worried anymore... if that makes you feel better! <P>You're quite a good writer, you know.<P>If you can both post here and find a way to navigate this road, that's wonderful. My ex and I could not. He used what I wrote against me, and I didn't understand what he wrote, so often (which is sad). <P>I wish you and your W a complete healing and recovery. She's a wonderful woman, which you already know...<P><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino

[H]:<P>Your post is an inspiration I needed. I feel so hopeless and helpless at this point. This has given me a little glimpse of hope, more insight and understanding. <P>My WH moved out 11 months ago, one day, all of the sudden. I was totally clueless. WH needed to be ALONE and needed time to think. I ran into them (shock) about 1 1/2<BR>months later and found out the real reason he left. <P>The business we started was our income, since WS left I was left penniless. WS told me get a job, it's wasn't his problem anymore. It's like he has just pushed me out of his life, I feel I was just erased from the chalkboard, discarded. Things have gotten progressively worse financially at the business. WS is losing everything and hanging by a thread to get by. <P>Your description of the manipulation of OW hit me like a ton of bricks. My WS is so manipulated and controlled by OW. I could even here this in his voice. WS has been<BR>extremely verbally abusive towards me. He was either ranting, raving and hateful with me, when OW was around, or so meek it was sad. This OW definitely wants me out of the<BR>picture. Even to the extreme of threatening me and showing up on my doorstep (H drove her here). I had to get an Order of Protection against her. WH got very angry about that,<BR>said I didn't have to take his girlfriend to court. Go figure..poor thing, she's vicious and no doubt NOT a nice person. <P>WS had called me from a pay phone in Dec. I think he needed someone to talk to. He sounded terrible and desperate. He admitted he had caught OW in a lot of lies and that he<BR>didn't trust her, among other things. I won't go into the entire depths of the conversation, it's in my posts on here. We talked about an hour, him standing freezing in the cold. I was astonished by the despair and torment in his voice, it was profound and so pathetic. He said he was sick, had to go and would probably end up in the hospital (he has a chronic illness, stress aggravates this)because he was so upset.(worried about OW cheating) He called me in Jan. (unusual) and told me he had been in the hospital for <BR>3 days. Said he thought he was going to die. I thought maybe this was a wake up call, guess not.<P>In Feb. I had called WH (reference to financial problem) we talked for an hour, he called me back talked for another hour. WOW, I thought at least he's talking to me. He told me<BR>to call him the following day. I did, he said he couldn't talk, busy. I missed a call that came in, but that number was on my caller ID. So I called him back..he said meekly...do me a favor, please don't call me here anymore. Apparently OW was on the phone (I know she had him call me)she started yelling told me not to call there ever again or she would take me out for harassment. I've only called once since, months ago, just asked him how he was...he said fine, can't talk, busy, had customers and than just hung up on me. No contact since.<P>Unfortunately I didn't find MB until end of April, after most of this mess had already transpired. Otherwise I would have most likely handled things differently. WH had said he<BR>wanted a divorce, had an attorney send me a letter in Sept. Now the attorney is sueing him, for nonpayment, WH refused to pay. <P>I can't hate him, only his actions. I feel he is so caught up in the addiction/fog he can't see anything. I think he is on self-destruct, with no way out, trapped. I don't think there is anything I can do. I don't know what to do? It seems WS has been trying to burn all his bridges, and an awful lot of damage has been created. <P>My gut feeling tells me he is in such turmoil he doesn't know what to do? I may be wrong. As you described your situation and feelings, of debating what to do, this brought to mind this is probably what he feels. I don't know if he even thinks of me? Maybe out of site out<BR>of mind? I feel he only has hate for me now, but I don't understand. He blamed me for a lot. Not to say I was blameless in what happened to our marriage. If he had expressed his missing emotional needs, I would have worked out the problems. He admitted he never once sat down to talk to me about the real issues. I think he is hanging onto OW because he has no one else. <P>You wrote that you were afraid OW would leave if you had contact with your wife, maybe he feel this way. I know my H doesn't NOT like to be ALONE. I think he has pushed this so far he thinks there is no turning back. You had your friend to console, WS doesn't have a friend, I was his friend. He used to talk to me about all his problems. WH has cut off contact with the one friend he did have. WH never really discussed his personal business with other people, kept it all to himself. <P>I think it's wonderful that you came here to offer your story and help. I know I appreciate what I have gotten out of reading your posts. Your feelings I believe have explained how my WH probably feels. I don't know, at this point, what is going on with my WH? <P>I'm upset now because WH is taking me to court Mon., over items he wants. He is angry that I won't let him in the house, but I'm afraid to. I just don't trust him, especially with OW's influence. In his frame of mind, I don't know what he is capable of. <P>I never had an opportunity to Plan A or B. It has been suggested that I write a Plan B letter, and give it to WH when we go to court. The last time I had to go to court with<BR>OW, WH was there. When I tried to talk to him in the hall, he turned his back to me and faced the wall. He was waiting for OW outside the restroom. I would have no idea what<BR>to write? If I should or shouldn't? Everytime I start to write, I debate what to say, what NOT to say....until I'm at a total standstill. Afraid to say the wrong thing.<P>Sorry, I got carried away. Thank you so very much for your post, as well as your W's. She is a very special person. If you or W can offer any advice or help I would be grateful. I<BR>need all the help I can get.<BR> <BR>"A reassuring presence, A LIGHT when times are dark, A hand reaching out, Is what it's all about." <P><B>"Having someone who understands is a great blessing for ourselves. Being someone<BR>who understands is a great blessing to others."</B> <P>May God Bless you & W<P><BR>

[H] I am not your OW. I don't know you. Nor do I know this particular lady. <P>My post was written in anger. I get irritated when I hear people use words like manipulated, duped, and especially "pond scum". Sounds too self-righteous to me. Again, only you are responsible for your actions. If you take credit for that and are working with your wife to restore your marriage more power to you. Isn’t that why most of us are here? To restore our own particular marriage and find our way out of this mess. Doesn't matter what the OW does. Good luck to you. <BR>

[H], I'm sorry if my response to your OW was misguided. I have followed all your posts, and as I said, made copies of them. I definitely did not want to offend your wife since I am also the BS and (if my H's OW were even computer literate) I'd have a problem with her responding to my H if he posted here. <P>I think I agree with Endevor, though. I was using your posts to justify blaming the OW. She is also married like your OW. I know she manipulates my H. I even overheard a conversation when he forgot to hang up his cell phone after lying to me about his whereabouts during the time he'd come home to live with me and promised no contact. They were drunk. He was crying and begging her not to leave him. She was angry at him for not telling me that, "you're with the woman you love."<P>Blaming is what I did before MB and what I still do when I don't remember that the only person I can change is myself. You have taken responsibility for your behavior in an amazing way. You have a wonderful wife who stood by you through all of this, but she's lucky also compared to a lot of us here to have an H who is able to have such insight and willingness to rectify what he has done.<P>Hearing from your OW just helped me to remember that neither party in the A is totally to blame. It would be so much easier for me if I could believe OW is an evil monster just manipulating my helpless H, but I know that isn't really true. He's made his choices, just like her and they are equally responsible for the situation they've created.

Nyneve,<P>There was and were times. I was feeling very down about my situation. I didn't know how to get out of it. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I could repair this amount of damage. I was looking for ways to solve all the pain, and hurt I caused with one step. No matter what that step was. Including suicide. I assumed she wanted me dead for everything I had done anyway. So I started to ponder the idea of leaving my wife rich from insurance claims, after I made a so called "Fatal" mistake somewhere. I wouldn't have made it look like suicide. I have a fast car, and I don't sleep when I drive, so my plan was to drive off a cliff somewhere. Take one turn too fast.<P>I travelled a bunch during my (A) so this would have been very easy for me. Lots mountains on the west coast.<P>Instead, I wrote as (Aeon Blue) allowing me to put some thoughts into words here, and then it seemed they would disappear from me. I would be okay as soon as I finished writing these words. I wanted to die at times. I'm glad I stayed with you all ("As you asked me to stay, and share my story") I doubt we see much of Aeon Blue anymore, those feelings have long past and gone away. I'm in a much much happier place, and stage right now to bring Aeon out. I still get upset and depressed about things, but its definately not like it used to be.<P>I personally don't think i'm a good writer. I honestly have no idea what it means to be a good writer. If people are connecting well to what I am saying, then thats great. If they aren't then thats okay too <P>My reason for being here, is getting the help that I need. Part of that help is sharing and helping who I can on this site. It's a treasured resource to me. As it kept my wife from going insane, it kept her going when things were hard.<BR>I too am happy that I can post here, with my wife. It definately helps both of us. Definately makes the difference to see what happened from her side, and what happened on my side. Helps clears that fog up <P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.

Ssorci,<P>I spoke of my wife being in plan A also. I said it was a very wierd time for me. Thats very much true. At that time I was still hiding some things from her. When she all ready knew what was going on. I fell into a stage of "We are just friends, nothing is going on" Even after denying acusations to the end.<P>It was almost surreal. On one hand my wife was almost ignoring me. To a point where it looked like she didn't even care. Meanwhile I carried the affair on right in front of her eyes. At times I wondered myself, ("She must know whats going on? She has got to know? She knows I'm hiding things, I see it in her questions, even the questions she doesn't ask.") The whole thought of her knowing about it, and almost allowing it to happen right in front of her eyes scared me, bothered me on many levels. I expected serious repercussions.<P>I started to think a lot of things then like ("Well if she knows that I know, that she knows.") Type of confusing statements, and ("Why isn't she yelling at me? Why doesn't she say anything?") So then it led me into thinking ("She doesn't know whats going on, maybe is paritial aware. She doesn't know all the details. Maybe she's worried about it, but doesn't have all the details because I've been hiding them")<P>Fact is, she knew fast, and she knew a lot. Even the details that weren't point blank she knew allready. I said at one point. I seriously underestimated her. That's a good thing. Because I hadn't expected her to find out. I hadn't expected a lot of things. My story was simple, partially true at the time. I wanted to find a better life. To get out of the state we were in. To get a better job, where I could be more appreciated for my long hours I put in. To do a lot of things. At the time of my affair, these thoughts did not include my wife.<P>I wanted things all right, but I wanted these things for myself. The very fact I was seemingly getting away with everything right in front of her face was Scary to me. Foreign. I never lied to my wife before my affair. I had nothing to lie about. So lying has a tendancy to bite you in the [censored] if your not used to doing it.<P>When I came home from my (A) I had some bags from the trip. I was so tired when I came home. I also remember telling my wife. Don't go through my things, I will deal with them later. Don't do this or touch my stuff. Clear indicator, that I was hiding something. I'd never said anything like that before, and if I had thought about it more to cover the affair I would have told her, if she wants to go ahead and do whatever she wanted with my luggage.<P>So as a result she went through my things, and found some things that I knew she'd find if she went through them. First mistake for me. Trying to hide it.<P>Now how does this all fit your wondering? I pretended like nothing was going on. Pretended that nothing had happened. Pretended like I didn't know, that she knew, and I wasn't trying to hide things. Did a lot of lying, and a lot of pretending during her plan A.<P>Her support I believe was this site and many books. She's got a regular library of books for learning, growing, and understanding Affairs, Marriages, ect. Primarily her support was here, and the good people of this site. A question perhaps, better asked of her <P>I'll point this out to her, and perhaps she can give you more insight as to what helped her get through each day.<P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.

H, Your wife sounds like she did a wonderful job of both Plan & B. Did she leave you alone alot while you were still at home? Did she call you during the workday to touch base (one of the EN's my husband said I didn't provide and that I'm trying to correct during my Plan A phase). I'm just having a hard time keeping the faith when my H is so withdrawn, angry and listless after 2 months. He only said last night that I should be letting go...

Hurtwife, <BR>long post.. I like it Will respond as I read.<P>There were times I called my wife, and disguised it with bill paying, or something else. I just wanted to talk to her. I just wanted to see how she was doing, if she still loved me.<P>I also moved out of my house. I told her at one point, don't contact me anymore. Don't call me, the only thing you can and may contact me about is financial obligations.<P>The fog can be confusing. I'll break this down, what happened to the best of my knowledge during that time.<P>I sent an email to (OW) telling her, some things I knew she wouldn’t be happy about. I lied about some things during the affair. So I knew there was going to be trust issues, and distrust between us. So I figured she was never going to talk to me again. I was upset, and depressed about that. <P>So I went home and I remember talking with my wife, promising her that I was going to work on our marriage. I said we could have our hopes and dreams again. We can do this and that. I built up a lot of things to her right then. Said that (OW) was going to be very unhappy with me, and will probably never speak to me again. So my wife was genuinely excited, she was happy. She thought the worst was over.<P>It was a great night, she was so happy. It seemed I was happy too. Seemed is the key word for me. I wasn’t really happy about things. I still wanted to be with (OW) at the time. I was wishing that (OW) was going to call me, and say that it’s fine, we could work out the distrust between us.<P>Well that came true. I got to work the next day, and (OW) and I started talking, and we had been talking. I believe she called me to say she understood, or she understands, but that she was angry I lied to her as well. So (OW) and I talked a long time while I was at work, and we slowly resolved our issues it seems. So when I got home from work, my happy wife got to hear the news that I now wanted a separation and divorce.<P>So I built my wife’s expectations, hopes and dreams up, and then I smashed them right before her eyes. It was a difficult moment for both of us. I hurt this woman I love again. <P>I believe I wrote a letter to my wife at this time saying, I couldn’t hurt you anymore. I was going to be on my own, and that I needed time to be alone for me. Time to find myself again. The letter wasn’t a good one. She started crying almost immediately. I soon found myself packing something’s up, and moving out.<P>I grabbed little things here and there. Picked up some clothes, the laptop, and my cell phone. I stuck around a little bit, to make sure she wasn’t going to do something extreme. I had thought she might be thinking suicide at the time. I was making sure she was going to be okay. We talked a little bit. She screamed at me a few times, said some things out of anger. I walked out the door. Feeling heartbroken, and horrible about all I had done.<P>I immediately called (OW) and told her I moved out. That I was now staying with a friend of mine in town. (OW) and I talked a long while, and slowly I was reassured that this was the right thing. As she explained in her first marriage that she too went through these same things with her husband, that it was hard. So it was normal to feel that way, to feel heartbroken.<P><BR>I was so unsure of what to do, and how to do it. I was receiving all this help from everyone on moving out, and getting away. I talked with people with people, and they all reassured me, whatever I wanted to do they would support. This wasn’t exactly the support I needed at the time. I realize that now. I wished I had chatted with my friend who really helped me during this time. He’s a strong Christian, a good friend, with sound advice that has a way of coming through the way we all need. “Something like it’s non-judgmental, non-confrontational, what your doing isn’t right or wrong, but here’s another way you can do it, here’s another angle to look at, here’s another viewpoint, here’s another path you can explore.”<P>I was afraid if I didn’t leave my wife, that I would lose my best friend in all of this, my new found love (OW) She had told me on several occasions that she would play second best to no one. That I needed to stop second-guessing us. That I needed to be surer of us. This left me with no choice but to leave, or (OW) was leaving me. I didn’t want to loose both people. I felt I had all ready lost my wife. I can’t lose (OW) also.<P>I hate being alone, and I can’t be alone at times. So many people have abandoned me all ready. My wife it seems abandoned me in our marriage. My parents had done it to me in the past, my friends as well. I couldn’t and wasn’t going to lose another person. So I left home. This seemed to strengthen (OW) and my relationship a lot. She wasn’t worried about what I was doing when I was at home. Wasn’t worried that my wife was talking to me, and that we may be fixing our life. She was no longer afraid, that I would sleep with my wife again.<P>I was told on more then one occasion by (OW) she was extremely hurt, and unhappy that I had slept with my wife again. That is where the (“I will play second best to no one”) comments originally came from. She was genuinely upset that I had done this, and she was very unhappy with me, and said I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for that. Again I did what I wanted to do, and it had negative effects on (OW’s) relationship and I<P>So again I said ("You asked about it. I told you the truth, which is something I’m doing, you wanted to know if I had slept with my wife again, and I told you yes. I am being honest, which is something I haven’t done in the past with you.") So it almost seemed to re-affirm things for us. That it would be okay, that we would triumph no matter what.<P>Hope this helps,<BR>I would/will definately give you my prayers, my strength in your time of need.<P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.

Endevor,<P>Sorry to jump the gun. It just seemed as tho you were attacking me out right. I had thought for a second you might be (OW) with a diffrent account, posting a little something to get back at me. As I expect this type of unbalanced, unhealthy behavior from her.<P>I too apologize if my responce was less then cordial, but as a result of your post. I posted about my admission of guilt, my admission of responcibiliy, my admission of sorrow over what has happened. so its clear to everyone.<P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.

LetSTry,<P>Your post isn't misguided. You got an opportunity to see both sides of it, what (OW) had to say as well. I recognize that fact, and if you learned, gained some insight from her post, or mine then great Thats all that matters.<P>I'm not happy she posted, but thats okay. I'm glad you gained and benefitted as a result of it.<P> <P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.

StrongerInCali,<P>How are you doing? <BR>Glad your enjoying the thread, with it's unexpected surprises and all. This is it's intention. Had to have a place to share what went on with my (A) so here I am. Glad my words and situation can be a benefit to everyone.<P>At first I felt very afraid about what my wife was posting to complete strangers. Now here I am posting away as well. Theres a lot of people that know me on here all ready. That know who I am. Doesn't much matter to me Just happy to help give something back.<P>Hopefully things are getting somewhat better for you. Glad your birthday was a good one. <P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.

SoDuped,<P>Thank you very much for your prayers and support in this time of recovery. This is exactly what I love about this site, so many people just extend the hand of help. So many people say a lot of good and positive things at just the right times. This is the support that has helped so many of us through those trying and hard times.<P>Thank you.<P>------------------<BR>[H] / Aeon Blue<P>My advice is my advice. Take the good, disgard the bad. Do whats right for you. Not because I said it worked for me.