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Joined: Aug 2004
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TA,

Down boy.. Read the dates from her posts.

This was brought back up because she posted in the D/D forum the other day.

Love the wording though. You made ME feel even worse then I had been. Nice vent.

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You're welcome John. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Joined: Jan 2004
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TA,

Sorry for threadjacking a very old post that it seems a lot of people are getting all bent about to respond to you...and I really was just lurking UNTIL I read your post. Maybe it just caught me on a bad day, but I felt compelled to comment.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> In the last several months several Hot looking women have approached me (I stopped wearing me Wedding ring for a while) and have flirted with me. All I could think about was banging every one of them, great sex for at least 6-12 months. I've had NO sex since last July and most likely won't for a damn long time as I am trying to save my marriage. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Huh??!!?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> All you could think about was banging them, but you're trying to save your marriage? First, do you know what the Bible says about lusting? Second, how is this going to help SAVE your marriage--it's only going to make you want out. And third, FYI I've gone without sex for a year now and while I miss it, I'm not freakin' dying! Nor am I lusting after a bunch of hot guys! I'm working on ME!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> People like you can burn in Hell. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This comment, in my opinion, is NEVER called for! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> You and I and everyone else on this earth are sinners (FYI: "lusting"--note above comment). We ALL deserve to burn in Hell! But thanks be to God for sending Jesus, we don't have to if we will turn to him and accept his sacrifice in our place.

You sound very angry, and no doubt you are! And you have every reason to be! But try calming down and realizing what you DO still have in life (like the fact that you are still alive and every day is a new opportunity), and realize that EVERYONE makes mistakes!

People on here need help, and granted they need it in an up-front, honest fashion even if it's painful at times. What I don't believe they need is hateful condemnation.

Just my 2 cents.

LL

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LL,

I do agree with you. But I for one needed what TA said today.

Thanks Bud.

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lordslady,

I deleted that post about Burning in Hell, I was out of line. I just came from church and my wife went with me and my children for the first time in one year. I asked her yesterday if she would please go to church because my teenage daughter would not go without her mother there.

My wife said the only reason she is going is too support the children thru the divorce. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

She even went to communion which ticked me off a little, I expected her not to go considering her affair and wanting a divorce. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

I didn't say I wanted to screw those other women, I just had thoughts, that's it. I get so mad knowing my wife is having her fun and I have to suffer and she laughs in my face. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I feel like a celibate priest, except I'm married.

In addition, it is hard to not take these women up on their offers. A few of these women were very nice looking and they appeared like they had good personalities even though I only conversed with them for a few minutes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

I keep reminding myself that Satan is tempting me so I won't give in.

I'll probably regret this later, looking back I'll wonder why I did all this knowing my wife is committed to this divorce.

I plan on staying celibate for at least 6 months post divorce hoping there might be a chance in hell she will reconciliate.

I'm just a stupid hopeless romantic. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

<small>[ January 02, 2005, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: TA ]</small>

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In addition, it is hard to not take these women up on their offers. A few of these women were very nice looking and they appeared like they had good personalities even though I only conversed with them for a few minutes.

Falls right into the ENs being fulfilled. Tread lightly.

I know I dont need to tell ya that. You know.

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marriagedoa,

If you care,I had a few questions for you that I listed on the D/D board.

O

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Yep...she has posted on divorced boards..where I usually am.

Husband has announced he's divorcing her.

Now I am going to say this to you..CofW...it would appear he has had enough of this. And who can blame the man?

You are here, posting about how great your OM is...when you're living a lie guess what...YOU TELL LIES...that's what liars do. And to make this whole thing appear good, he tells you what you want to hear. All OP do this. You probably do this as well.

Orchid is absolutely right. She posted to you earlier. Do you not think we've all heard this stuff being said before by an OM?

What blows me away is the fact that you say that you can't believe your H has waited since mid December to tell you that you're divorcing. He has probably agonized over the whole ordeal waiting to see what you've done...or are willing to do. If you dump the OM or make progress...Then in your post you go on to say that he has done nothing to change the marriage dynamics. Gee...He has to do all the work while you have all the fun? (this is called FOG HONEY!) And then you say that you haven't worked in a while and that you didn't dream you'd be in the shoes of somebody facing divorce.

Wow.

Reality bites huh?

Maybe the financial pressures or the no job or the having to support yourself is scary. I can tell you being divorced is very scary. But I was not the WS and I did not "ask" for it. I did nothing to deserve anything. Incidentally, my xh also told me it was "up to me" to do anything to save the M.

My question to you is this...Are you ready to do something to change the marriage dynamics? Or are you willing to allow actively your family to be ripped apart? What are you going to do? Are you going to pass the buck to your already hurting husband? Or are you going to do what we would love to see you do and apply MB principles here while you still have a fighting chance.

You can plan A your H. You also have to "fire" the OM and you will go into withdrawal. You will need a counselor. You will need to talk to your H and ask if he can delay this divorce while YOU do the needed work now.

This is serious. Like a seriously ill patient, you need MB intensive care unit right now.

If you do not do these things, he'll walk for sure. And nobody can blame him.

I don't care if you change your sign in name 100 times. People want to help others here. And we will continue that. But if you want enablement of adultery, you may want to go elsewhere...I once saw a site dedicated to the OW...wow. It sickened me to no end.

We are here to help you save your family. As for me, I can say I will not enable anybody to destroy a marriage and family if I can help it.

Check into MB icu and get some help.

It is not too late yet.

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Just peachy has given you the correct instructions. No one can do this for you. Good luck-you're going to need it.

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