Oh, G.<P>There is so much anger that I didn't know was there. So much pain. I wish that you could talk to me like you used to...like two friends. I will listen to you. I may not always 'understand' the way you want me to, or even agree with you...but as I have learned at this site...you need to vent and I need to listen. You have let me vent on you soooo many times in the past. It's your turn.<P>I want to save our marriage. I want to preserve our family, but I am unwilling to do so at the expense of you. I want you to be a strong individual. I realize that I have been 'forming' you to be what I thought a husband should be. <P>I was hoping that by coming here, you could be exposed to the principals of MB and could be 'taught' that our marriage could be saved...silly me....still trying to change you and form you in my ideal....<P>And to all my friends out there...he is not a scoundrel and I am not a saint...though I have also come to realize that is the 'roles' we have taken on in our marriage...we are two humans who are finding their way....this anger you have seen here...he's kept it inside for many years. Even today, he did not let it out towards me or the boys...but took us for a relaxing day at the beach.<P>He is a good man or I would not have desired him to be my husband in the first place and I would not desire for him to continue to be my husband.<P>I will love you forever,<P>Marsha<P>

My apologies to you both, Marsha and G,<P> It's just that when someone attempts to give more pain to those already in severe pain and torment, I blow a gasket.<BR>I wasn't always like this. Used to turn a blind eye, wasn't my business...still isn't really. <P> Just pisses me off for someone to use blanket statements about the people on these boards. I for one have been/am in enough pain without such things. <P> Maybe the advice some people give is way off the mark, but it should be taken as people trying to help someone cope through another day. <P> As for Plan A/B....these plans are not about manipulation. They are about saving our marriages by changing ourselves. Not the WS/OW/OM/ blah blah blah. For anyone to see them as something other than that, well they are wrong. Or maybe I am. But this is how I am working on my marriage. By attempting to change who I was during my marriage.<P> G, take what you will from my statements. I really do not care. But I will not be getting upset with your statements again(well not writing negative thoughts anyway).<P> I wish you all the best.