Dear Shattered,<P>Given my understanding of your situation and from reading a lot of books that detail the common threads or similarities in affairs, I think it is HIGHLY likely that your wife's affair will end. Maybe she will end it, maybe the OM will end it but because he has a wife, has four kids and is not a native American I can not forsee much future in their relationship. The issue at hand is whether you will be there for her when it ends. If you have an affair of your own, you probably will not want to be there. You will have gotten on with your own life and will probably not want to do the work to make your marriage work. Like new beginning(i think) said...affairs are serious business....<BR>Not to say that you are not feeling terrible, abandoned, alone and depressed. I know you are but I guess what I am thinking is that you alone are responsible to how you respond to your situation. What you do may determine the inevitable outcome.

Bonny - <P>Thank you for your encouraging words. I really can't see the relationship working either but so far, it seems to have bucked all the trends.<P>I will just have to keep myself busy doing things that DON'T involve being alone with a woman for the next several months. (Not that that happens, but I just don't want to get into a situation that I can't back out of.)<P>Right now, I don't know if I will have the energy to be there if she comes back. The hurt is so overwhelming and complete, that I may have a difficult time in any future relationship, let alone one with my W.