I posted this before:<P>My H is the WS and he still has his on about the third one I've bought for him (He loses them, accidently) I asked him why one night and <BR>he said "I am still married" <BR>me "Huh?"<BR>Him "did you want me to take it off?"<BR>me "that is up to you"<P>So later when I went up to our room the heart from his chain was on own my dresser but not the chain, (He has had three of these too)asked him about it.<BR>He said "You didn't want me to where the ring"<BR>me "so? Do what you want"<BR>He put the heart back on, and still has the ring on.<P>2 weeks ago my ring split and needed to be soldered so I took it in for the repair ane he didn't notice or didn't say anything that it was gone, and is gone for 2 weeks for the job, so when I e mailed him I said something about getting it back, no comment from him.<P>My ring is my engagement diamond in a new setting with our birthstones and the 3 kids. Before D day I always wore it with his stone closest to my heart, but have turned it around, probably no one will ever notice but me. <P>My story! Dawn<BR>

I am the BS. D-Day for me was 3months ago. I took off my wedding ring then and havent put it on since. My WS continues to wear his ring. I am puzzled as to why? He certainly doesnt deserve to. We are nowhere near recovery, even though he has stopped all contact with OW. I havent been able to forgive him and get past the betrayal, so i feel there is no point in wearing the ring.

Tears of sorrow,<BR>I am a WS and still wear mine. Because I want to be married to my wife.<BR>Is your husband working on recovery? I am trying to save my marriage and was just courious as to what your husband could do to help you save your marriage?<P>Thanks<BR>MarkC

My H WS, hasn't worn a wedding band (41yrs) much at all. I did buy him a band with diamonds that he wore more recently on his right hand. <BR>During his affair he stopped wearing that band as well. I took off my wedding band (an anniversary ring, rows of small diamonds) a couple years ago, because of the discord I felt.<BR>Fast forward to recovery. Counselor suggested H might wear a band, he agreed. Before Christmas I got H a new band and I started wearing mine again. At Christmas I opened up a Ty baby with a matching band tied at her waist. H always said he "knew" he was married, didn't need a ring. He has a lot more respect for this ring, and our marriage now. <P>Tears of Sorrow, please stay with the plan, it has been a year since I knew of the involvement (2 yr PA) with OW and only 2 months since I found out it was PA, but so much progress has been made to get to this point. We are talking more now than ever. H is totally devoted again. OW is out of the picture. It can happen with MB principles, counseling and much talk. LAD

I believe OM stole my engagement and wedding band. The engagement ring was exactly what I would have chosen but H chose for it me so it was always a treasure of one of the happiest times in my life. The wedding band was my grandmother's and that kind of history cannot be replaced.<P>The day after I confessed, we (unfortunately and rather foolishly) had to go help at a weekend camp and H attended a meeting before we left. He dropped the kids and I off at the mall. I went to one of those teen type jewelry stores with my girls and spotted this pretty little $6 ring. When H came (he forgave me upon my confession), I was a bit nervous but very distraught and said, I need to wear a ring. I want everyone to know i am married to you.<P>H totally blew me out of the water as I told him about the $6 ring--he marched me right to the jewellers and bought me a gold wedding band. I take it off when my hand is sore but that's only a couple times a day and bedtime--otherwise, I wear it all the time.<P>This amazes me as after what I did to him, I didn't deserve anything good. His forgiveness has really helped me to recover but it has and still is in some ways taken time.<P><P>------------------<BR>Fresh Start

BS here.<BR>I've had mine on the entire time she's been gone. (Feb 99) I intend to keep it on until the divorce is finalized. (My doing. Don;t have a clue where she is.)<P>She took hers off as soon as she left.<BR>"I sat in the park without it & I felt so good."<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Unfortunitly.. (sp) ours ended up in a pawn shop somewhere, sometime over the past 3 years.. and we never could recover them :*(<P>I had wanted to save them for the boys... stupid, stupid decision. <P>Don't EVER put those kind of special things into pawn. No matter HOW bad things get finacially.<P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MarkC:<BR><B>Tears of sorrow,<BR>I am a WS and still wear mine. Because I want to be married to my wife.<BR>Is your husband working on recovery? I am trying to save my marriage and was just courious as to what your husband could do to help you save your marriage?<P>Thanks<BR>MarkC</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>MarkC<BR>My H says the same, that he wants to be married to me. I often wonder whether he just wants to stay married because we have a son together or because he doesnt want his family and friends to find out what he has done when it revealed.<P>My H recovery is shown by stopping all contact with OW. He has also attended counselling with me. We have now started individual counselling to hel us deal with our own self-issues.<P>Im glad to hear that you are trying to save your marriage. What ive always needed from my H to help me heal is to comfort/hold me tight when im an emotional wreck and assure me that everything will work out. Ive needed to hear him tell me how much he loves me and me only. I have really needed him to show me alot of remorse for what he has done in order for me to start believing that there is hope for us. You might think that i expect too much. Maybe i do. But i cant help the way i feel. But hope that through counsellig i can get the help i need to get through all this.<BR>THANKS<BR>TOS<P><BR>LAD<P>Its great to read recoveries like yours which show lots of communication happening between spouses. This is definately something my H and I are lacking at the moment, but someday soon i hope we find ouselves on that same path of recovery.<P>Thanks<BR>TOS

Update to my previous reply <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I asked H a few weeks ago to please AT LEAST wear it when we are together (dinner or whtever) just out of RESPECT for me - we are still married. He did the next time or two - not anymore. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>He had it on tonight! (You know, it's the little things that send us back up on that coaster )<BR>

I'm big on symbolism. And the wedding ring is a symbol of your love and commitment to your spouse (I can't remember the exact words.. but that's what the standard wedding vows say).<P>I kicked my WH out of the house on Feb. 6th. I wanted to take off my band, but had a hard time doing it. But when the first day of spring came (you know, new beginnings?), I took it off, and then put it on a gold chain. I wore it around my neck... it was closer to my heart there.<P>However, my hand felt naked. So I wore my irish claddagh ring (another symbolic ring of love and friendship) with the crown turned outwards (which is to show that my heart is truly spoken for).<P>H wrecked his ring at work (bent the crap out of it). That was over a year ago. We've since moved 3 times, and it is nowhere to be found.<P>Now that we're in recovery, he wants to wear a band again. So he wears mine (we have the same ring size), and I continue to wear the claddagh.<P>We plan on renewing our wedding vows, and will get new rings at that time. Again, symbolically, we're starting fresh and new, and so should our rings. <P>Karen<BR>

I have put much thought into this subject since d-day. When the truth came out about the A I probably shouldn't have, but I asked my W if she at least took her rings of when she had sex w/ the OM. She admitted that she hadn't. This made me sick. I can't even look at the rings the same, they used to have meaning, now they don't. Since D-day I have insisted she wear them, just so that she looks married. <BR>Yesterday we were at the mall and just decided to look for a new ring. I told her we don't need an engagement ring because were already married. We found a realy nice ring we both decided it was perfect. Today we are going to pick it up. She wanted to keep the original, but I insisted we take it to a pawn shop and sell it. I am keeping my ring even though she wanted to buy me a new one ( I feel like mine still means something, it is still clean).<BR>We plan on renewing our vows soon as well.E.

I agree with Seenthelight. I wear mine to show faith in the M. The W wears her's sometimes.<P>Positive