Hi,<P>Just wanted to say that even though these events took you to limits unimaginable you recovered with dignity. I am glad you were able to hook up and talk with someone. <P>In addition to that you took the time to write that other beautiful thread. What we are capable of doing in a time of stress and need is beyond comprehension. <P>Be proud of yourself and take care of you and your family. I will be prayer for your W and your family (& you too).<P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

H2U,<BR>Glad to see situation is under control. I'm not a guy - obviously - but I can sure understand your frustration with this situation. I sure hope your W is definately starting to realize that she is not going to be able to live around this guy too much longer. He is going to cost her another job. OM knows what buttons to push, and until she comes to you he will continue to do so. One can only think that he is plotting. One can see how he is using that baby for manipulation. It is truly sad. I am so happy that Topie was there to help you out. aftershock

I just got this in an email from her...<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>Hello Guy,<BR>god what do I say..<BR>so much has been going on here..<BR>I finally sat down and talked to my S to let her know what has been going <BR>on with OM..<BR>She said she didnt believe me until she actually saw it for herself last <BR>night..<BR>I am trying so hard not to drag her in all of this..<BR>We have decided to try and get him out somehow..<BR>So these next few weeks are going to be really rocky..<BR>I feel like such an idiot right now..<BR>I really believed that this was about the baby..<BR>Please bare with the silence.. It is the only way that i feel safe right <BR>now..<BR>I want you to know that I am doing ok..<BR>If I am going to get him out I need you to quielty be a friend<BR>I am sorry once again for this whole mess..<BR>I want us to remain friends and that is most important..<BR>That is all i need for awhile..<BR>anyhow hug the boys for me and tell them that i love them<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Okay.. <BR>weeks huh.. <gasp><BR>okay, okay.. relax.. breath..<P>Thought I'd give you the update... NOW you know as much as I do... <P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

H2Y,<P>this is good news - the OM has LB'd big time and it's over for her. Just don't introduce him to this forum :-) (ok, I'm joking).<P>this is also good news because she needs you - for the moment as a friend - but she needs you. She probably can't give anymore to anybody at the moment.<P>What's your Plan A looking like? how are you going to ride the waves over the next few weeks and still be her harbour? <P>Freddy<P>

I think your next step should be to ask her if she wants you down in Dallas this weekend or not. You've had differing answers from her so far, so make this one be the one that makes the decision.<P>Either way, avoid LBing by saying something like 'I'm glad you're getting OM out of your life'... instead, say something like, 'I'm glad you have made a decision. I am, and always will be, concerned about you and the kids'.<P>Is there a way she can contact you 24/7? Cell phone? Whatever means work? Be sure to remind her of that if it can be done.<P>I am so glad she can now see what a horrible situation she is in. Now, let's all hope that she can stick with it and stay strong. You are the best person to help her with that. Keep it up! <P>Karen<BR>

H2Y -<BR> <A HREF="http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/about.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/about.htm</A> <P>Call the hotline phone number, ask for their advice on how best to help your wife.<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

yes its good news..<P>My Plan A... gosh I don't know... to continue being her friend.. and taking care of me.. I know for sure.. The rest is probably going to have to be a blow by blow response.<P>I was trying to relocate within the next two weeks so that the kids could start school there. <P>If the OM is out.. she is going to want the boys to come live with her until I find a place of our own...<P>Just predicting here.. but that wouldn't be good, being that I have had them the whole time the A was going on.. So that's a potential LB.<P>I have a job testing in D on the 10th of August (Friday), so I'll be driving up the night before and staying with family, her or a hotel... That is also part of my Plan Husband2you.. career change.. trying to get back into law enforcement.. quietly with any of this affecting me.. the job is desk for now... public safety dispatcher. I'm going the inside route for now.. to prove myself and gain my confidence level again. She picked up the application for me and is mailing it to me. She checked a couple of places for me to live.. so she wants me there.<P>Now I just take one day at a time..<P>OM been here before as well as W, and OM caused me tons of problems and LB. W was furious for everyone knowing about our situation.. So I may have to disappear and have Harley delete all my posts and replies to prevent a MAJOR LB with her..<P>Thanks for checking in on me..<P>Slept like a rock last night... got to work to hours early this morning,.. then left and went home, only to get to work 2 hours late this morning... sheesh<P>Guess I needed the sleep. <P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

Thanks Bramble..<P>posting the number here.. in case someone else needs it and is lurking..<P>National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE or 1-800-787-3224 (TDD).<P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

Karen,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>'I'm glad you have made a decision. I am, and always will be, concerned about you and the kids'<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I probably wont say anything.. maybe just 'I'm glad you're safe now'. <P>She can contact me at home and work 24/7. I thought about getting her a cell phone and phone card on my next trip.. but funds right now are tight.. so we'll have to see.<P>I can see potential trouble next week during my job interview. I really need to leave the boys with family here.. in H, and go to D alone. That would put me there from Thursday night till Sunday evening... Any amount of time that she spent with me would be just that.. with me and not the kids.. not good for her right now.<P>So I'll have to see.<P>Bramble thanks for the number, I'll call it during lunch.<P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town