Orchad<BR>Didn't you say something like, Your husband is not close to your family. I don't have any sibling's, I don't associate w/my father, so only my mother is left, and she is an alcoholic. My H doesn't understand why I'm so sympathetic for everyone and big on holding memories and ( I can't think of the word right now)Oh sentamental. It's frusterating at times. S

H2Y<BR> Well if we lived near you, My H and I would love to be freinds, ecspecially w/someone who has kids. I know the feeling when all yor friends are gone. We stopped being friends w/one couple cause he beats and cheats on his wife, and is mean to his kids. My bestfriend and I are no longer friends at all, cause she is a neg. inluence on me(says neg. stuff about H). <BR>how about going fishing or boating? <P>P.S. Keep your head up and S

Well for me I am in the company of friends here.. you people are addicting and your not asking me for money, so I luv u long time <P>You know.. alot of our loneliness is the sitting and waiting for that phone call that usually never comes. The WS tells you they will call at xx:xx and you wait. Then there is no call at xx:xx and you've already been waiting an hour on either side of that call so you don't miss it. Its vicious.

I'm sorry to say that I don't understand your situation. I am the WS, but my incident was 4yrs ago. I know the pain I've caused was not only on my H, but our friends, family and myself. <BR>Your right, it is adicting reading and writing on MB. what's nice is, there is always someone to talk to. S

H2U, the restaurant you are talking about is Zippy's, I think (the pie-with-everything restaurant) That's the only place right on Kam highway in Pearl City, I am thinking. Tell you what, I took some friends there for dinner once, my friend turned over her mahi mahi and found a large banana spider, well done, under it; she was from Korea, she asked if she was supposed to eat the spider as well (they do eat some strange things over in Korea, but not spiders, that I have heard of.)<P>If you are ever back there, there is a wicked VietNamese restaurant over there across from Pearl Ridge Mall in the little shopping plaza. You know, where Jelly's Records is. I miss it.<P>There is a really good Korean restaurant right next to Blockbusters on Kaahamanu st--I was there every payday. I could go for some really hot ojingo-bokum right now, tell ya.<P>Hey, thank you H2U, for taking my question seriously. I was beginning to wonder if I had met my husband in any other time of his life, like before he joined the Corps, if I would have felt the same about him.<P>When he was an enlisted guy, I sometimes would wonder if he was brainwashed or something--the obsession he had for his physique, his clothes, his speech--I think you know what I mean. Everything had to be in accordance with the Corps. I used to think that he could care less what I said or how I felt, but if there was a Marine Corps regulation that said that he should not leave his socks and underwear on the floor, or that he was required to talk to me for at least 1 hour per day, then he would abide by it. For four years, his determination to be physically fit caused him to not consume anything harsher than a soda now and then, his excercise schedule was brutal. I was pretty sure that I took second place to the Marine Corps in his life--and he would say to me, if I noted this: "I am sure that you would not like me if I were any different." And deep down, I kinda thought he was right.<P>At the time, I was enlisted in the army, so it was kind of an unspoken rule about what came first in our daily lives. I really miss the life we had back then--things were simple.<P>He was commissioned and IS a different man now. He is so totally different, it scares the crud out of me. Now the Corps does not control him, he controls it, so to speak. Now, he is not merely cocky--he knows everything. Now he seems to have, and has executed, the power to just dismiss me if he feels that I am not up to standards. That scares me.<P>And now I am "just a dependant wife," and the feeling is so awkward. Now I feel he should have even less respect for me--no, I don't feel it, I know it.<P>Other Marines--I work here on post--I just mentally laugh at them. I want to laugh everytime I am out and about and I walk by some NCO that has some poor guy locked up for some "horrible" infraction, like having his shirt untucked. I want to laugh everytime walk by and overhear a couple of officers just smchoozing it up. (The more F-words that can be fit in a sentence, the better.) Sometimes it seems like such a game. No, you are right, it isn't a game. I have a lot of respect. But I know that it changes a person's whole out-look on life to be in the Corps and I don't think that I can keep up on it.

Well,<P>I got out and took the boys to see Rush Hour 2 with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.<P>Been a while since I laughed so hard. Safe movie to go to with your younger children. Language is not to harsh and there wasn't any nudity so to speak.. or to much real life violence.<P>So.. I did it. I told her I'd call her at six. I got up off my duff and just went. The boys had a great time.. first time in a theater for them with just me. It was very hard to go years ago when things where 'good' because we always had a baby to take with us.. <P>Anyhow..<P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

Bernzini,<P>responding.. don't go yet..<P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

Hi H2u, <P>Went to the Aloha festival. Heard music & some guy trying to make jokes and had some food. Malasadas, shave ice, loco moco and other stuffs. Made me homesick. Had a nice time. <P>So were you able to go the the lake with the boys? I can't remember the name of the pie shop but it's on the corner. Twyla should know, she still lives there. And the buffet place. hm..... so many of them. Hawaii always has good eats all over the place. Hard to stay on the infidelity diet there. LOL!!!!<P>Hanauma Bay used to be real nice. I understand they are trying to clean it up a bit. We like to go snorkeling on the Big Island out in Kona. Also went to a nice beach on Kauai that you could walk out knee deep and see the fish (great for the little ones) about 100 yards. We used to take frozen green peas (better than the processed stick fish food) and watch those humuhumunukunukuapuaas gobble them up. <P>Well maybe you and your W can reminise (sp) about those good days and work back towards living like that again. It's not the place, it's the company. Make it a single goal for the both of you. <P>From what I see, the OM isn't scoring any more points and he should be on his way out the door right? Hope so. Your little ones really need their mom. Does she see that? Where do you stand in her eyes? If this is getting too personal, don't answer, just thinking out loud. <P>Sure would like to just be able to fix things for everybody including me, but I can't even fix my situation by myself. So I better go back to my drawing board, even if I can't draw. <P>See ya laters,<BR>L.<BR>

Bernzini<P>Now he is an officer? What is his rank? Is he a warrant officer? <P>One thing that you need to remember. I see that your in Law Enforcement, some how some way. I have see all to many times when I was an MP in the Corps, the serviceman take their rank home. The carried it on their shoulder.. making it there house, their benefits, their position of authority to handle everything that made them feel important. They don't bother with the petty stuff.. cause they believe that is their dependant spouses place. <P>First thing that you need to realize in the position that you are in. Those quarters are YOUR quarters, not his. If it wasn't for you, he'd be in the barracks. If it wasn't for you he wouldn't be what he is today. You are the one who stood by his side as he made these life changing decisions and you supported him.. even though.. you may not have agreed with him. <P>Don't let him have all the power, that he thinks that he deserves in your home. Put your foot down and send him to the barracks if you need be.. but don't let him treat you like trash. The service person is the one who has to leave the quarters if there are ever any problems. PMO is living by different rules when I was in. Your protection is the GOV's responsibilty. One call to his CO or the Chaplin for counseling for the both of you and your both there. Love busters all around. But I want you to know that you have those options if anyone starts pushing you... as the dependant. You have more rights than he does. Remember that. <P>Sit him down and talk to him. Tell him that he needs to leave his rank at the door. When he wears it into house, he's to take it off his uniform, literally and put it in a jar. That way you are both equals. Let me ponder this for a while and I'll come up with something for you. Okay? I still have all my things from training.. and the PMO. give me a couple of hours to 'sqaure this away'.<P>K? <P>------------------<BR>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' © 2001 O-Town

Sem, <P>I apologize, I did not see your question. Yes, my H is not close to any relatives on either side except his older sister who does not approve of his current lifestyle. She is also battling cancer and ALS right now so she has her own set of problems. <P>L.

Thanks for your reply, devil dawg, it's nice of you to care. <P>I can't really say what my husband does or his rank just because I want to protect him, but yes, he is commissioned and began cheating shortly after he was. That's what so hard to understand. Did he just have his head up his rear-end? He flaunted his woman all around Quantico and his fellow officers covered for him. In fact, if I called and asked for him, I listened to them stiffling giggles. (Who is it? It's ( ) wife! Oh, yeah? Which one?)<P>I am at work right now, so I should just keep this short. Let's just say that because of my husband's rank and MOS, it is really dangerous to talk about this. I feel so helpless--I want help, I want him to get help, but if I do or say anything, then it is a LB, it will destroy our lives further. The things I have done--counseling, going to the chaplain have been threatening to him. There was a period when things were really scary at home and I went to family advocacy--my case was dropped more or less. I don't know why, but now I am glad.<P>I just want a happy marriage. Why is it so hard? I just keep looking inward, trying to think of all the ways that I could change to make him happy with me and only me. It's exaughsting.<P>Well, gotta go for now.