Big problems here now.. Anyone here for some quick exchange back and forth? Just to chit chat.. sort of?<P>From this weekend.. <BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/011600.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/011600.html</A> <P>I'm here if someone has their ears on..<P>------------------<BR>Semper,<P>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' O-Town

H2Y<P>I've got a few minutes, what's up.

You do not know me really well but I am around too!<P>Allie

As you know I have had a rough weekend. I have been trying to get cash for my trip home.. silly me.. huh.. I look real pleasing to her at this point in time. She has had to take care of the boys and I alot over the post 3 days. I have been trying to leave all during this time. Like I really wanted to spend the last four days in her house while the OM was there.<P>Well swil.. I picked her up from work.. let her know that I was trying to get some money from home and she called the OM and told him to bring some money home.<P>He came home from lunch and handed her 40 dollars and she basically looked at me and told me to get out. I was on the phone with my father. I had just told her while I was on hold that I didn't want her to let me down gently if that is what she was doing. I told her I wanted the truth. Well I guess I got the truth. <P>I left.. and I have clothes and suitcases in my other car that is at her house. She told me not to come back over when she got off of work. She told me not to come by her work or call. She said she would not answer the phone until she saw the caller ID showing a 713 area code.<P>I don't know what happened. It seems that I was 'juked' from this since this morning..

hi alexy.. <P>she walked me to the back door and basically pushed me out. The boys were asleep and I had to wake them. <P>I am wondering if I should try and file a motion of restraining order while I am here in Dallas. To keep the OM away from my kids and the baby, .. in case things deterriorate after I leave here. I will have to come back here for the job interview.. if I do get that opportunity. <P>I am in plan A and I don't think that this change in the wind warrants plan B. I think that our stress level this week had a lot to do with all of this.<P>Any ideas?

I wish I had great words of wisdom and support. What you are going through sounds so horrid. Aer you going to be able to go home now though?

Yes I can go home now.. <P>I want to stay here somewhere.. but have no where here to stay.. really. <P>When I go home, to my trailer house at my job site.. :*( I have to worry about the IRS coming in and locking the gates. I have to worry about the utilities getting shut off because of the finacial condition the company is in right now. Going home is an option... but an option for what? She could have my kids taken from me very quickly if any of those conditions happened.<P>

H2Y<P>Did she give you any reason for the sudden change. I know that sometimes when my W is really stressed out she takes it out on me. MIL says we always hurt the ones closest to us, not sure about that but I guess. I don't know mush about restraining orders but I agree that you should do something to protect the kids from OM, from what I've read of your post he can be and is one mean S%$.

I was thinking about goint to a church here and seeing what options I have with any ministry programs. We really aren't talking about marriage building here right now.. more or less this is my survival and the kids future. If I have to give the kids to her for any reason.. I want to make sure that the OM is not there around them without my presence.

Going home would seem like the responsible thing to do.. <P>Staying here somehow ensures that I can work on my marriage somehow and the kids can be closer to their mother. Starting over is going to have to happen either here in Dallas or there in Houston. <P>This isn't a choice I really want to make with my life right now.

That's a great idea, my dad is a minister and his church and he himself are always helping people out in tough spots. If you want I can give him a call and see if he knows anyone out in D or if he has any insight on some churchs in the area.

OK is the baby yours and your wifes?? AND If your kids are in danger then yes protect them.<P> And as for Plan A and Plan B, you are the one that will know when it is truly warrented. You live in 2 seperate cities AM I right?? So your contact is a little prohibited now due to distance. What does your wife want???<P>Allie I am so sorry I am so not helping you that much.

silwl<P>I have two churches here that I would rather try and use. Of course they are of my meek little dwindling faith.. but regardless.. I would rather be able to pay back in time and money to a church that I support.. Biting the hand.. I suppose huh. Regardless where the help would come from.. I guess it doesn't matter where the church is at or affiliated with.

I am so sorry for the BIG NONE HELP. I will pray for you and your family though.<P>Allie

Alexy... The baby is mine.. to the point of paternity hasn't been contested. In reality.. the baby is his because she wants him to be the father.. and thinks that the OM is the father. Only she would know, I suppose.. but that is why we have shows on TV like springer and Jenny Jones.. <P>My name is on the birth certificate. In Texas if your spouse gets pregnant 300 days before a divorce is started or 300 days after a divorce is started.. the husband is the Father of that child, until paternity is challenged and proved otherwise. <P>My wife doesn't want paternity... because she is afraid that the OM will eventually not work out in the future and she is afraid he will take the baby if it is indeed his.<P>On the otherhand, I believe that she doesn't want the paternity test because she is so terrified for all this to be in the courts.. PLUS, she has told me that she isn't ready for divorce yet.. and the paternity suit will nearly force that issue.<P>What does my wife want? God only knows. I don't think she even knows.<P>------------------<BR>Semper,<P>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>Don't make me promises <BR>Baby you never did know how to keep them well <BR>I've had the rest of you <BR>Now I want the best of you <BR>It's time for show and tell<P>'All or Nothing' O-Town

alexy.. you ARE helping.. if I don't talk about this.. I would be at her work causing a big huge scene.. at a lawyers office or the DA's office making some irrational choices based off of what ever it was this morning.. so you ARE helping me.

IMHO I don't believe it matters what faith you are, any church should be willing to help you in your time of need and if you wish to repay it to your own faith then thats great because it goes to do Gods work. I tried to contact my dad but he wasn't home I'll keep trying and let you know as soon as I find out something. Hang in there, I can't imagine how bad things may seem or how you feel right now but I know you can survive this. Easier said than done, I've come to realize that way to often lately but I know you've been through alot from your post and you have survived to this point. Don't let all that determination and hard work go to waste now....

WOW, what a life you have going there. Can you force the order of paternity. She does not want to divorce, but she does not want to work on her marriage. She is floating on the fence and I think she is making all the choices here.<P>OK, NOW what is it that you want!!!???<P>Allie

I guess my next question is do I go to her house now get my stuff go home and call her from there... or do I let her cool off and call her from here in Dallas and then go and pick my things up when she gets off of work? <P>I think the latter would be a LB.. but do I really want to go back to Houston, without an explanation of what happened? Err.. okay I know the answer to all of this... I guess I need to find the strength to go back to her house, get my things out of the other car so I can go home before her sister gets home, to avoid a big confrontation and fight. <P>Decisions decisions...

Can your parents help you H2Y? financially or a place to stay? That's what family is for.<P>I don't know many people in Houston. My MIL and her sister and family are there, but they could only help with baby-sitting (how old are your boys?) or helping you clean your house - if you can get in there. They are mexican, but my MIL speaks fluent english. <P>I'm so sorry about your W. I don't have a clue about the restraining order and such. I just know you need to keep your head about you so you can get that job and take care of your boys. <P>And it may be time for Plan B, once you get your current situation under control.