Nite cybil...sleep well...<P>Cali

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lora:<BR><B>Me too Sad but true,<P>Do you think we might be soulmates? </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I don't know. Lets see. I love my wife, I want our marriage to work and I'm not living in a fantasy world. Nope I guess we can't be soulmates.<P>But maybe we can be drinking buddies! <P><BR>

Well, I better start making those sandwiches...and then get some sleep...<P>Ya'll have a good night...sleep well...<P>Cali

Sad but true,<BR>Darn I guess its not a good idea then, probably not even the drinking buddies part. Sometimes I hate trying to be good.<P>To tell the truth I get you sad and somthing guys a little confused. Sorry about that... I wasnt even sure you were a guy so dont think I was hitting on you OK?<BR>Lora

yep cali, exactly what I told her most feel after they "know". I have told her all the pertinent truths, no real need to know the gory details, but she insists, and I have no status to deny her (radical honesty), so I gave it to her. Yep, she is sitting in her room tormenting herself as I write, says she will take all night, and to leave her the H*** alone (so to speak).......oooook. She is really evil, and before I left room I took her face in my hands and told her is ok, I will take a fair amount of abuse, but there are limits, remember that, and kissed her and left. The interesting thing is the evilness, is hard to explain, but it is one of the reasons I left her (emotionally), when she doesn't get her way, or feels wronged, she goes someplace really bad, and makes it clear you no longer exist. Her professed desire for an affair is interesting. She wants the secrecy, the middle of the night calls, the mystery etc. I think it is cause she is very very compeitive, and she thinks I have had something, and now she wants to have the same....strange logic, but there it is. I also think she says this to try and hurt/scare me. It doesn't work, I am not put together that way, but it does puzzle me, and concern me (for her welfare).<P>cybil...No I don't think she really would, but I am not positive, she has a very um...... punishing side to her, most controllers do, and I committed the cardinal sin, I crossed her. She is generally a kind, caring, loving person........on HER terms. Cross her, and you are in deep s***. MB has been a huge conflict for her (as it is for most controllers), but she has done remarkably well (in the short term). It is like being married to jekyl/hyde (always has been), she can go from happy and content, to murderous evil in the blink of an eye. And she can bear a grudge for a LONG time.....me, I am lucky if I can sustain a good rage more than 5 minutes, and after 10 or so I am generally apologizing, making-up with everyone in the vicinity.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lora:<BR><B>To tell the truth I get you sad and somthing guys a little confused.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My real name is Brian. Now you can keep us straight.<P>That's it the Simply Sleep has kicked in. I'm off to bed. At least the puppies are there to make it not seem so empty. We just bought a King size less than 6 months ago. Now there is TOO much room.<P>Good night!<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by sad_but_true (edited August 18, 2001).]

Ok Brian,<P>And you cant guess what my name is cause I used such a good alias...I spelled it different. <P>I'm off to bed too, I have my cat to join me.<BR>Goodnight everyone, May all your dreams come true.<BR>Lora<p>[This message has been edited by Lora (edited August 18, 2001).]

Hi everyone!!<BR>Just got on tonight. I've been running errands all day. Finally got two of the kids school supplies and some teaching stuff for me. Can't believe I haven't been in my classroom yet. We have two work days starting Monday--but you know how that goes--meetings all the time. Guess I will get my room ready eventually. <P>Amazing how I can't seem to get my husband out of my mind--no matter what I am doing. But, as I am sitting here drinking my wine, I am realizing that he has really been a SH** lately. Maybe this is for the best. I don't have to deal with his mood swings, his temper, his impatience with the kids. I don't have to deal with the indescribable hurt I feel when he treats me like nothing when he is having his affairs. <P>Sure I miss him...I miss having my husband around. But, he really hasn't been here in a long time anyway. I don't know when the last time he made love to me...and really wanted to. I don't remember the last time he acted like he loved me...probably at his retirement ceremony.<P>Just what am I losing? The lies, the pain, the deceit, the cheating, the emotional abuse.<P>Oops...didn't mean to vent. This situation is getting so old. Sometimes I just want it over. A Toast to all of You. Hope you all have a better weekend!! MnM<P>

Lora,<BR>I meant to say, I LOVE the castiron idea. Do you think that would get my h out of the FOG? I would be willing to try anything. Maybe the threat of a little physical violence might not hurt !!!!

I HATE the word "soulmate" as well. Yeah, my husband and his girlfriend were "soulmates" too. "Your soulmate will call you as soon as you come home." La dee dah, and blah blah blah. I still don't regret reading their chat files. I just regret that there were chat files to read.<P>You guys!!!!!! I am here in Japan--it's broad daylight here and I am at work, lonely. Husband and child are at a softball game. <P>No wine for me, but I got my 32 oz diet coke, it's blazing hot, mongo typhoon supposed to hit tomorrow, my cable tv is out, the kid can't watch cartoons so he's whining (want a little cheese to go with that wine? He didn't think that joke was funny. He said, "Make that a poptart.")<P>There was a mild earthquake this morning, and I live on the 3rd floor of a highrise apartment. It scared me soooo bad.<P>This is the weird thing--as of early last week, my husband and I have been extremely happy together. We kiss, we hug, we cuddle. He talks to me. He helps me with the housework. We even sparred kickboxing, like we used to do long ago (he blocked a kick and I broke my little toe.) He's a lot bigger than me, and I haven't done any kickboxing since before the affair. I totally love this guy--WHERE DID HE COME FROM?<P>What happened?????????? The evil spirits have fled? What happened???????<P>I used to be married to two men--the wicked freaky mean one and the nice one that appeared every so often. All the sudden, it seems that mean one is gone.<P>Were my prayers suddenly answered? Because I did pray--a lot.

How neat Bernzini,<P>It is nice to hear some positive things are occuring. I keep praying too---but so far no luck.<P>Watch out for that storm tomorrow. It is uplifting to hear some positive stories...Thanks

Well, you know, never in my wildest dreams did I think that things would ever improve. I have come through marital hell and back. My husband left me for another woman, had sex with her, had intimate encounters with others, engaged in a consuming porn addiction, abandoned me and our child for over a year. I gave up everything for this man.<P>And then when I did come back to him, we did nothing but fight. Horrible fights, where he called me every name in the book, laughed at me and told me how much he hated me.<P>A couple of weeks ago, I caught him looking at nasty stuff on the computer, we had a fight, and he left for a couple of days. I told myself, "This is it; this is the last time we go through this. I am leaving, my child will not have to endure this anymore between his parents."<P>Like night and day, he changed. I think that he is doing something else behind my back--going to counseling!!!! I found evidence of this, as well. I can't believe it--is this too good to be true?

Hi you guys,<BR>Bernizi, sounds good, I am afraid before we got to that point my H resumed contact with OW so he is back in the fog and its killing me.<BR>Misery, I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I am so ready to take what seems to be the easy way out and end this... set him free and totally give up. But I guess that has its problems and pain too.<P><BR>Hey Orchid, where did you go last night, I realized I never responded directly to you, I'm sorry. I hope you are doing OK today. <BR>Lora<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Lora (edited August 18, 2001).]

Hi Lora,<P>No I didn't fade away nor did I have too much to drink! LOL. I setup Icq last night and chatted with a couple of people from here. <P>I did check back periodically but these 'ol fingers can't do too many things at the same time..... or is it my mind? Anyway, I didn't feel ignored. I was just catching up on your thread, seems like you had a lively party going there. I am glad. <P>SnL says his wife wants an A, he thinks it's for revenge but I think it is for her to find out what he found that was worth all the trouble brought into their lives. I know I did. Tried it in fact, went on-line, setup an add even got a response. Kept the add open overnight and got 1 response. I did not open it, I did not know what they said. H stood over me until I deleted it. So I understand Thinker's thought process. Can't say it was a good thing to do and don't advocate it but I learned that I am not that way. Too bad, I eventually wanted to teach H a lesson but that was not my main reason. I was hurt and that is dangerous. However, see where an A can even lead other family members? Whew, my H was happy I was not going to let myself be a stupid as he is/was....... but that just made me angrier. So Snl, if you are reading this, try to be a bit more understanding she does need that more than anything at this moment. Let her know that all this bad stuff was in the past and let her know you will be with her to help the both of you move on. Am I writing your script? Maybe. If it works well, let me know, you can write the one I need H to say to me. Deal?<P>Lora, I wanted to throw my support in and say that you are NOT a total failure. Anyone who makes you feel that way either has their eyes and ears shut or is a fool. Ok, got that off my chest. What I personally have learned about you from this site is that you are a caring person. Arrgh.... so many caring people out here being hurt beyond belief. But you are caring and special and I wanted you to know that. I sometimes wish Sing would fly over here and beat some sense into our spouses. I sure would like to do the same for her H and many others. Oooopps, getting riled up. Better go and wash some clothes on a rock. Maybe if I beat the dirt of of my 'fine linens', I will feel better? LOL....... Hooray for washing machines with gentle cylces. Good for the clothes. <P>Take care and hope you have a pleasant weekend. Next time you care to share a glass of wine, let me know. I don't belong to a wine club so I will have to go out and buy a bottle or 2. <P>L.