sad dad- your wife's not eating or interacting with you at all are signs thats she's depressed. Have you ever talked to her about trying an antidepressant med? Does she sleep in the same bed with you? Or on the couch? My H would vary between these two- though if he slept upstairs he would never touch me in bed. Some nights I would fake going to sleep so that he would come upstairs just so I could be closer to him. I know how it is to be so deprived of touch. It hurts. Do you think your W might be considering divorcing you so that she can marry OM? The fact that he is divorcing and would be available makes me even more certain you should not separate from your W- too risky. Of course if they do marry each other there would be a 75 % chance of divorce between them. Not that that cheers you up any. But cheaters dont realize this or they wouldnt be in such a hurry to divorce their first spouse and marry their lover. Take care- let us know what Steve advises. lifeismessy

lim,<P>I brought up the dreaded word "depression" months ago, before I knew about the A. Something wasn't right and I though that might be it. She was pissed that I was trying to "fix" her, so I dropped it.<P>She sleeps on the couch every night. Has been since July 3rd.<P>Who knows why she wants a D? Doesn't love me. Loves OM. Doesn't want to face the truth. Could be anything. <P>sad dad<P>

My H moved out within a month of starting his affair. I knew something was very wrong from day one due to his bizarre behavior, but the affair was denied until it was all over. Anyway, I started reading everything I could get my hands on right away and it all pretty much said it was best to keep the WS in the house if possible. It was awful. Sometiems he wouldn't come home, he was so cold to me, he would barely speak to me etc. I was devastated when he announced he was leaving, totally crushed. But it wasn't until he left that he started realizing what he was missing and giving up. Being with the OW on a regular basis also gave her plenty of chances to LB and show her true self. The fantasy quickly went down the drain. So it can work either way, it just depends on the situation.

I don't know what is better or healthier, cuz I think the outcome ends up in the same place.<P>Plan A with lovebusters?<P>Plan B with separation?<P>My H and I are doing the first option and it aint working. Frankly its not his fault. He's doing alot of the right things, but he cant overcome the hold OM has on me. He LB's constantly. Some of it is attacks, some of it is just things he does that annoy me.<P>I am at the point of moving out. My relationship with OM is not going to go away because of anything H does or doesnt do.