yes clouds I am the ws, my wife indeed has suggested we get divorced many many times over the years, as a tool to hurt me. I was the one who always said no, is a vow, we have kids, all the usual stuff.....finally I said yes. True the A did have an impact on this, but I had already decided I cannot live the rest of my life like this.<P>Why I have not this time myself, was in the previous reply, is not time. W asked for one more try at reconcilliation, I felt I should do so, but had she said yes, let's get divorced, we would be divorced......I think.<p>[This message has been edited by sad_n_lonely (edited September 16, 2001).]

I know you wanted replys from WSers put I got to tell you this one.<P>D day 1-27-01, seperated Aug 18, I moved to SD H moved to UT, he is in the AF, although he didn't want me to go with him to UT he still came home and discussed the move with me and waited for me to give ok before taking job, I thought yipeee! Wrong.<P>After a 3 day drive across the states to get me and 2 kids to SD H turns around and drives to FL were OW and spends a week with her before going back to UT, calls every night to talk while there, 2 hour time difference and it was late here, so asked were he was sleeping and said couch, I though could've done that at home. My thought is he remembers that he is married and doesn't consumate the EA as that would be commiting to her and I don't think that he truly wants marriage over. But writes me an e mail stating that I need to let him go,so I can be happy. My question who needs to let go? Has stated in past that he wants a D and did talk to legal assistance while here about what needed to be done, only cause he was there for another matter.<P>If only there was a decoder ring that we could use on BSers, life would be so much easier. They say one thing, act another, and then type something else totally. I have hope but no expectations from H behavior, I am here and he does know where I am at so that when he wants to talk I am available. Go figure he calls often to just talk and share what is going on with new job and apartment and how kids are. I am moving soon to the house across the street and wouldn't suprise me if he shows up to help. I have maintained that if I was the one that wanted divorce it would be done already. We had always said that once you leave there is no turning back, that was when we were very young and it would have been easier to run home then work on what was wrong, we toughed it out and worked, he does know he can still come home. Way to much info sorry about that it just kept coming, haven't made any new friends here yet, and my mom is gone for the week, she listens well!!<BR>Dawn

Funny thing. The day after I posted the first post of this thread, I got served with the paperwork. It is for an uncontested no-fault divorce. I am wondering if I should just go along and settle this or if I should not sign and have her pursue further. I will think about it.

Indy,<P>I don't know. You've talked to a lawyer, right? Contesting it may cost more money. Is a divorce what you want?<P>Clouds