Orchid,<p> Thanks for replying. I am going to start moving in a different direction. I know that you all have tried so hard to help me, but I know that MB isn't for me any longer. That is because I am not really married any longer. It was just something that I put up to try and move forward with her in my heart. In my heart I will always be her husband. I will be awaiting my orders and then I will give her the key to the storage facility and I will depart quietly. I will not fight her any longer. She is happy were she is right now. Who am I to take her from that happiness. Thanks for the help that you and everyone gave me. Yes, including Lupo.<p>Indy_357
Sgt
USMC<p>[ November 05, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,<p>Call me a stubborn ol coot but before you depart, please visit the d/d site. They have good support there. If you get a chance, look up Cjack and Fatherof1Husbandof0 (his name is Kevin).<p>
Cjack is a dj and has a stepdaughter. Fo1Ho0 (Kevin) has a 4 year old daughter. Both have been very helpful to me when I visited that side. The wives of both divorced them. Really Indy, I don't believe your situation is too far different than what those guys and others have been through. Maybe GQII can not give you all the support you need, I understand but the d/d site may. Please give them a try. Would you like me to introduce you to some of the people there? A few of them visit here and a few of us regulars here have spent time there. You may even recognize a few from here who post there regularly. <p>Either way, I will respect your wishes. This site is not only for those who are in recovery. It is for everyone. Hang around here long enough and you will see that not everything comes easy. Even those in recovery or think they are find challenges everyday. <p>You have met some caring people here and in turn you have shared your heart and soul and cared for us. May be always have that in common. <p>Take Care my friend.
L.

Orchid,<p> No thanks. There isn't any need for any introductions. I will not be going to any of the other sites on MB. Thanks for being my friend. Tell Lupo that I am not mad at her. I have lost everything and I don't want to waste anymore of you time. Especialy when your wisdom can help someone else get back on track. I will miss you all. This site has given me something to do on all of the lonley nights that I have had. But, I need to get accustome to being alone. For the kids will either end up with my parents or with my stbx wife and the OM. I don't know but, I guess I will have to wait and see. Take care.<p>Indy<p>[ November 05, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Well Indy,<p>I don't often send a hug to the guys here but I feel one is warranted. My family is from Hawaii and hugging is an acceptable custom with no strings..... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Please remember we are your friends and never are far away. Please don't forget us. If you would like an e-mail address, please let me know. I would consider it an honor to write to you. <p>Since you don't know much about me (maybe you do), I will tell you that I guess I would more like an older sister. I worry about my younger ones [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] . I am the oldest in my family but there were only 2 girls in our family. I never had a brother. <p>
You take care and don't forget us ok?
{{hugs}} <p>Aloha,
L.

Indy,<p>I would like to offer you a challenge. One that has helped me make it through what I was sure was the beginning of my end. Yes, even with a lovely son, I wanted to end it all. After being here on this board for over 6 months, I still harbored those hideous thoughts. See, I understand also. <p>What helped me was reaching out to others. It was my therapy. I thought I was helping them. Maybe I was but my efforts were helping me see that my situation was not unique. Nor was I a loser. I learned that I could become the best I can be with or without my spouse. That same ability is out there for each of us. We were brought into this world not by our spouses, but by God and our parents. So our lives should not depend on our spouses. Now our children's lives depend on us and that is our responsbility. If your W is dumb enough to not share her life with you, well Indy that is her loss not yours. <p>Take a look around you, there are many guys here in similar or worse situations. WAT (bless his heart) has endured much (including the death of his son), Rick37 has been a single father for several months and the list goes on. <p>I encourage you to reach out. Whereever you maybe. A very wise man once said "There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving". This is so true. <p>Thanks for letting me share this with you.<p>L.

Indy, <p>Me thinking again. Hope I am not bugging you too much!!! LOL! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Have you been to the doctor for anti-depressants? It might help. I have been thinking about your previous posts. You sound like I used to feel. I had severe anxiety attacks. They lasted daily for about 8 weeks. Then subsided to about 3 times a week for 6 weeks and then to once a week for about 8 weeks. Now it is sporatic. Some of your posts appear that you may be suffering from that. <p>If you visit a doctor and get the right stuff, it may help you have a clearer mind. <p>JHMO,
L.

bump ...<p>
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by redhat:
<strong><p>Indy,<p>Your enemy is not her ... your enemy is her fog and reality of the past (old you).<p>I am pretty sure you could kill "old you" very fast & easy, and probably you have. Now her fog is trickier, you have to ignored what she said/done, says/does or will say/do since it is fogese. You have to show and convince her the "ol' you" is dead. The hard part of this is that you never know how far you have to march down until W could see the light.<p>The fight have just began, you have to pick up yourself and do it.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Indy, I had been there ... almost ended my life twice since my WW trashed me and I am thinking it is easier for my W and 2 D to collect ins. $$$ for them having better life & happier life. I am glad I did not do it ... I found WW's A ... and I pick my self up and no one will be able to tell me how much I worth. Then I found MB after searching other sites/answer and it convinced me that MB is the only way for me to either win WW back or to have peace for myself to move on. Listen to Orchid ... Z & STL will agree too. We are all here since we have a lot in common, I share you pain and it tears me apart ... I have been there Indy, twice ... the darkest time of my life.

Redhat,<p> I didn't say that I was going to do that. I was just stating that I was going to back away from everything. <p>Orchid,<p> You are right it is better to give then to recieve. No, I haven't gone to a doctor. Those won't help me. I have to be able to do it on my own. It is time for me to enter survival mode. <p>Indy

Indy,
Like Orchid ... I am sorry to bother you again ... we are Californian.<p>Do you have any plan to see Monster, Inc. w/ your kid this weekend ?. I 've decided to bring my kid to see fogese's movie K-pax this weekend after roller skating practice.<p>What do you mean by "It is time for me to enter survival mode." ?. ADD helps me to go through it.

Redhat,<p> No, you nor Orchid bother me. It is time for me to just live life day to day, and know that my family will never be whole again. I am going to play softball tonight and I will check in later.<p>Indy<p>[ November 06, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Orchid and Redhat,<p> Just wanted to let you know that I am still alive out here. How are both of you doing? <p>Radhat,<p> No, I am not going to take the kids out this weekend. I have the Birthday Ball for the Corps. It will really be hard to have to go to that by myself. This was normally the highlight of our year.<p>Indy<p>[ November 07, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Hi Indy,<p>I am so glad you posted. I have been worried about you. Looks like Redhat, Faith1 and I have also adopted you... he he he!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Listen, this A stuff? Takes time. You have been in it a short while. You go and have the best time you can at that ball. I know it will be hard, but you never know how much fun you can have (even on your own) unless you try. You may find it is not as hard as you thought. <p>We will be here when you need. ok? <p>Go in peace, my younger bro.<p>Aloha,
L.

Thanks, Orchid, for remmebering me!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I'm a big sis too. Indy's a youngun. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Yep, I'm still here to Indy. I'm glad you're still posting and keeping us up to date.<p>Faith1

Orchid, Redhat, and Faith,<p> To be perfectly clear on this. I really have not been looking forward to it. I origianlly planned on mot going, but you know the military. It is manditory that I go. I am just going to the ceremony and then I will depart for home. I have been dreaming for the last couple of days that she will magicialy appear that night. I will feel very uncomfortable.<p> On another subject. She hasn't called since Sunday. And she has not said anything about the stuff that was talked about on Friday. I am wondering why she does this. She will go for about a week without calling and then she will call for awhile. Just asking your thoughts on this.<p>Indy

Indy,<p>Why not bring your Mom to the Birthday Ball for the Corps ?. She might feel honored & enjoy it too. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] .

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by INDY_357:
<strong>Orchid, Redhat, and Faith,<p> On another subject. She hasn't called since Sunday. And she has not said anything about the stuff that was talked about on Friday. I am wondering why she does this. She will go for about a week without calling and then she will call for awhile. Just asking your thoughts on this.<p>Indy</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Let it be, the court is on her side. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] For now stay away from her and get busy with your life, take a breather from her. She is probably as puzzled as you are, "new and improved Indy" LOL !!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] The BD-Ball might be good. Any sisters that you might be able to bring ?, you mom ?, (no dates ... you are still married) you might want to enjoy it & stay there longer. Don't forget for the weekend, your kid need a breather too.

Redhat,<p> No, I am not going to take anyone. I can't share something like this with anyone else. I also think that it will be to painful to stay longer than I have too.<p>Indy

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by INDY_357:
<strong>Redhat,<p> No, I am not going to take anyone. I can't share something like this with anyone else. I also think that it will be to painful to stay longer than I have too.<p>Indy</strong><hr></blockquote><p>
Take your time and you know your limit, that is a good thing. But if you leave early, is there enough time for your kid to see Monster, Inc. ? He would enjoy it. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] My 2 D (9&12 years) want it to see it again, all they talk about in the past few days is the movie.

Redhat,<p> No, I won't have time to take the kids to so anything. I also won't have the money to do that.<p>Indy

Orchid, Redhat, Faith,<p> She called my parents' house today. It was funny that she called be by my full first name. Faith you know what I mean. She asked about picking up the kids on Saturday. She asked me to call her and tell her where she can pick up the kids. That was it. I am wondering now shy she all of the sudden called me by my full name instead of what my friends call me? She knows that I only allow family to use that name. How do you think I should handle this?<p>Indy