So Spiro WHY ARE YOU HERE? You said in another post that you are still involved with the OM? So if you haven't noticed this is called "MARRIAGEBUILDERS! If you are here to convince people how wonderful affairs are how nice OP it ain't gonna happen. <BR>There are plenty of places where selfish cruel people can find support. Why don't you go to one those boards and take SNL with yor please! And thanks for sharing NOT!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by KalGrl:<BR><STRONG>So Spiro WHY ARE YOU HERE? You said in another post that you are still involved with the OM? So if you haven't noticed this is called "MARRIAGEBUILDERS! If you are here to convince people how wonderful affairs are how nice OP it ain't gonna happen. <BR>There are plenty of places where selfish cruel people can find support. Why don't you go to one those boards and take SNL with yor please! And thanks for sharing NOT!</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Some how I get the feeling you are very bitter. As a matter of fact I am not cruel at all. I just get tired of people always accusing the OW when the WH in at fault also. I have never made passes at men, especially if they were married. I cannot tell you how many men pretend to not be married and flirt. And as Marie mentioned earlier, we only know what they tell us about their marriage. It just makes me mad when nine times out of ten, the man comes onto the women and then when his wife finds out, they both blame the OW for the affair. I also don't understand how someone can truly love thier spouse and have disire for another person. I'm sorry if I made you angry. I really am trying to understand

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spiro:<BR><STRONG><P>Some how I get the feeling you are very bitter. As a matter of fact I am not cruel at all. I just get tired of people always accusing the OW when the WH in at fault also. I have never made passes at men, especially if they were married. I cannot tell you how many men pretend to not be married and flirt. And as Marie mentioned earlier, we only know what they tell us about their marriage. It just makes me mad when nine times out of ten, the man comes onto the women and then when his wife finds out, they both blame the OW for the affair. I also don't understand how someone can truly love thier spouse and have disire for another person. I'm sorry if I made you angry. I really am trying to understand</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>By the way, yes I am still involved wth him. I am not at all proud of that. I have tried to stay away from him over and over. That is why I am asking all these questions. If I were convinced that he had a marriage that really could be saved, then I would honestly leave and not look back. From what I am learnig here, he might love her deep down and don't even realize it. It is very difficult being in my place.

To answer the original topic, yes, I was still in love with my (then)H when I had an affair.<P>I was totally messed up in the head, SELFISH, vulnerable, and take full responsibility for the MISTAKE I made. <P><B>snl</B>, you're so way off on the "never did" -- you are not speaking for me, that's for sure.

Well Spiro, I have to disagree with the "man always comes on to the woman" thing. My WH had only one night stands. We have discussed man, many of the details involved, including just HOW he decided which woman he would or wouldn't want to have sex with. According to him, even though he was on the prowl, the final decision was always made by the woman. He never invited himself over, he was always invited over by the women. And I'm not talking about the women he picked up as a musician. That's a whole other thread. <P>I also, unfortunately, witness similar scenarios every day in my work life. Men or women make the first move, but it's ultimately the woman who decides if sex is going to happen. <P>Snow