Hi Indy,<p>Thanks to responding to the other thread. How is your son? You said that you just came back from the ER. <p>L.

Orchid,<p> I understand why you have been gone. You have more important things going on. But, I thank you for checking on me. My son went for school for the first time this week. My daughteris home today and is sick. As far as the ER. I had to go to the ER last night. It was kind of weird. I am twenty-five years old and felt like a 90 year old man. I had pain in the all of my joints. I wasn't able to walk or pick anything up. I was different not having your body do what you want it too. They said that I could have some type of arthrities(sp). I am scheduling an appointment with my doctor for next week as a follow up. He will decide if I need to have the tests done or not. Now, I have to tell you yes I kept saying in my head that I wish my W was there. It would have been nice for her to be there and hold my hand. I also thought about you and your family. I will be able to talk alittle later. My daughter needs her dad to make her lunch right now.<p>Indy<p>[ December 06, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

INDY,
Take a good care of yourself Indy, this experiences are not for any normal body to take beating on. Different people has different reaction to it. Mine is stomach upset attacks, for no reason.

Oh Indy, <p>Sorry to hear of your pain. Did you let the doc know what you have been going through? I mean anxiety takes on many forms. You have been pushing yourself physically and emotionally. Takes a toll after a while even on a strapping young 25 year old body....<p>Make sure you get a good physical. Take a look into the mineral called MSM (methyylsulfonylmethane). They say it is good for arthritis but I found it good for other ailments. Not a cureall but it is a natural sulpher that our body needs. Look it up, might help. <p>Glad you son is well enough to go to school and hope your daughter feels better soon. Do you have any vacation time available? Might be nice to take off for a few days. <p>Take Care,
L.

Dear Indy,<p>Read your posts and pray for you. Agree w/other friends here and think it could be stress related. I have horrible anxiety attacks, my blood pressure has risen, and of course, depression. A bit better since being on meds for a month. Please check that out. Our minds, bodies, and spirits are intertwined and like me, yours is probably out of whack too b/c your mind is in severe trauma. Try counseling to help get this out of your soul. A good healing book is the Jabez Prayer. Change your focus. You are a wonderful man and a fantastic dad.

Orchid,<p> I am glad to hear from you today. How are things going for you? I rate to take 30 days a year off, but since this started in Jan I hate taking time off. That was the time for the family. It was hard today. Just like now I find it hard to sleep b/c I can't get the WS out of my mind. As I said in my last post. I just have to say that I wished that she was there to sit in the room with me almost as much as I wanted to be there when she was in the hospital in July. I don't know. Did you see the response to my mega thread? Do you agree with her position? Should I just get it over with? I haven't heard from WS since that last phone call. I just wish she would come to her senses, but I find it hard to believe that she will ever see me as anything more that a monster.<p>Indy<p>[ December 06, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Thanks for the support everyone. Well, she called again tonight. I answered the phone and the first thing out of her mouth was we need to talk about child support. I hung up the phone. She called after the kids went to bed. She called right back and I hung up on hearing her voice. I just left to get something from the store and I turned my cell phone on. She called and left a message. Here is the what she said.<p>WS: I will have Nov and Dec Child support caught up be the end of next week. I would like to see the kids please call me to tell me when and where I can pick them up. I just really need to see them.<p> I couldn't believe it. I think the paperwork from the county got to work and they told her about it. Does she not know that she stood these kids up twice in one week and doesn't she understand that the kids are starting to pull away from her?<p>Indy

Dear Indy, <p>I just responded to 'mega thread' LOL!!! Yes I agree with your decision. <p>She said she just has to see her kids? ok, then what? That's like saying I just have to eat so show me the food....... ok, you want a picture (magazine food add), you want a drive by shot of the kids (drive in order menu), see them quickly at her convience - not the kids give them toys to buy their loyalty & affection and rush off (Burger King style - sit down fast food) or true visit where she comes to be with her entire family - (she comes makes or brings a home cooked meal) showing the kids time, attention, love and care and if possible some to their dad who has been taking care of the family......<p>Remember Burger King is not nutritious. Neither is paper...... Nothing like a home cooked meal. <p>L.

Orchid,<p> I just responded to the mega thread. I can see both sides of this one. I remember when she had the kids. I would only get about 2 hours with them during the week. I have to admit. I took them to BK sometimes. I also took them to real places to eat. I really had a hard time sleeping last night. How are you doing right now? <p>Indy

Hi Indy,<p>I am doing ok. BK is a kids place so I do that trip every so often also. Not as much as my kid would like but more than enough for me!!! LOL! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am doing ok. My point was that kids need to get the real benefit of their mom, not just sporadicaly visits. Kids are smart and you are correct in your observations of them. <p>H & I still have not talked yet. He is out of town again and will be back this afternoon/evening. Usually he sleeps because of all that driving so maybe tomorrow. I hate being put off. He is still wondering.....I guess. I bailed his but out but since the calculator in his brain is still busted, he thinks that just because he says he will give me the money for that job soon that all the effort to front the money now to pay for his driving evens out..... dumb bunny...... makes me just wnat to .....oops gotta calm down and go to work.... <p>Ok, thanks bro. You keep hangin' in there with us and we'll keep helping each other. OK? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Take Care,
L. <p>Ps: By the way, I categorize your level of care as 'home cooked meal style' even if you go to BK, Mickey D, JIBox, etc. sometimes!!! LOL [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by INDY_357:
<strong>
WS: I will have Nov and Dec Child support caught up be the end of next week. I would like to see the kids please call me to tell me when and where I can pick them up. I just really need to see them.
I couldn't believe it. I think the paperwork from the county got to work and they told her about it. Does she not know that she stood these kids up twice in one week and doesn't she understand that the kids are starting to pull away from her?
Indy</strong><hr></blockquote>
Let her ... the kids knows who is right who is wrong, she is destroying her relation w/ the kids. She is stil in her la la land. Let her picked them up as agree upon schedule, no less no more. If she missed it it is her fault.

Thanks Redhat for the support.<p>I forgot to ask this last night. How do I handle this? She asked me to call her back about the kids. Should I just wait and talk to my lawyer on monday or should I call her back?<p>Indy

Everyone,<p> My WW just called again. She knows that the kids go to bed at 8:00 pm. We have always had them on that schedule. This is the second time that she has called after they are in bed. This time she asked for my son. I told her that they are in bed and hung up the phone. She didn't immedeatly call back this time. I wonder if she just was reminded that she is the mother of these two children. Not to mention my SD. It drives me nuts to see her go from a good mother to nothing to her own children. <p> I had a conversation with my 4 year old daughter alittle while ago. She said that she wished that the whole family was together in a big house. That way she and everyone would be happy. I told her that I would love for that to happen, but I don't think that it will. I also told her that it wasn't my choice and that it wasn't her or her brother's fault. She then said that dad you will always be there for me no matter what right? I said yes I will. It is heart wrenching to see your child hurt like they do. It is even more amazing that the pain can be caused by their own mother. <p> I guess I answered my own question didn't I. She called back. I would love to think that it was not only to call the kids, but to hear my voice. I guess I am just dreaming that. I don't know. What do you all think?<p>Indy

Everyone,<p> She just called again. She asked to talk to our son. I told her that we are in the middle of dinner and hung up the phone. She then immedately calls back. I want to talk to Son. I again said that they are eating dinner and hung up. She then called back and I let the answering machine pick up. She left a very nasty message to the kids stating that I have kept her from the kids and that she has tried for the last week to see them. Now refresh my memory here. Isn't she the one that stood these kids up during thanksgiving twice? Isn't this the person that went off for a week without a call? What is going on? Help me. I have a question. Should I call her back and let the kids talk to her or should I wait to see if she calls back?<p>Indy

Indy,<p>When the kids are finished dinner and before they go to bed, have them call her. That way there is no confusion or schedule conflicts. Let them talk to their Mother.<p>It will do them good, it will do you good (legally and otherwise), and you know it just might do her some good.<p>God Bless,<p>JL

Indy,<p>You better start keeping that journal and recording each incident. Sounds like she is setting you up to fail. Record that message make sure you keep it in a safe place. Keep a journal of each call, time, place content etc. Her calls appear like they are strategically placed so that she has a reason to be upset. I could be wrong but calling after the kids have gone to bed, then during dinner then to leave that message is showing a motive that does not look pretty. <p>You though make sure your response to her can not be interpreted in a bad way. When you hang up (she may be recording your responses) make sure it is in a respectful manner. Let your immediate support group know of what is going on and when you have witnesses to these events, make sure they are aware of what is happening. Record those also. <p>I don't like these turn of events. Be careful.<p>L.

Just Learning and Orchid,<p> Thanks for the quick replys. I feel like I am losing control. I didn't respond to you posts because as soon as I read them I wanted to get off line so if she called back the kids could talk to her, but she didn't call. So, about 30 minutes after she called I didn't something I thought that I would never do. I called out to the OM's house so that my son could talk to his mom. Guess what? You give up? She wasn't there. Big suprise. He left a message telling her that he was trying to return her call and that she could call him tomorrow night. I stayed completely out of it. It is her bridge to burn.<p> Just for me. I wish I could just smack her silly. I mean her behavior is like that of a child. <p>Indy<p>[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Hello Indy<p>I agree with Orchid, you need to keep a journal of the times that she calls and also the times that she is suppose to get the kids and doesn't. Also when she is late picking up or bringing back. I use to use a wall calendar and kept track of everything. We also taped the phone conversations. You can get something for the phone at Radio Shack. The kids mother use to always call when they were in bed. She knew when the went to bed. This way in her mind she can say I tried to talk to them (but really didn't want to talk to them). By telling your son that you won't let her see them she is trying to justify her actions and also make you look like the bad guy. Believe it or not kids now what is going on. My step kids were 4,3, and 2 when we married. they are now 13,11,and 10 and they tell me they know that we will always be there for them and thier mother never was. Kids will amaze you at how perceptive they are to the situation.<p>I hate to say this but she may never grow up. The kids mother died when she was 27 and it had been 2 years since she had seen the kids. They wrote her a letter and asked her to come see them 4 mos before she died. <p>The more I read your threads the more I see our situation. I feel for you on the journey ahead of you. If you ever need to talk let me know as we have walked your path.<p>You and your children are in our prayers.<p>lovehimdeeply

lovehimdeeply,<p> Thanks for you words. I just wish that she would just be the mother that she was. I would love to put you and your husband in my support group. I just can't see her doing this. If she wanted to talk to the kids so badly she would have been there a mere 30 minutes after she called. I just hope that the OM and her new found freedom are worth the damage that she has caused to me and everyone that loved her.<p>Indy

Indy<p>Hubby still finds it hard to talk about the ex and she has been dead for three years now. But I will be more than happy give you our experience and our support. If you need to talk one on one my email is angirene_@hotmail.com. I check my email all day.<p>lovehimdeeply [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]