Dear Z, <p>It is hard to see our loved ones suffer so. I will pray for strength that you need to make it through this rough time. <p>Indy,
You haven't responded......you ok?<p>L.

Z, Orchid, and Faith,<p> I am sorry for not being here last night. My mother had some work to do last night so I couldn't get on the computer.<p> Why do I feel worthless? I have for the entire time that this has been going on. It just gets buried most of the time. Work was just really bad and like I said last night I just wanted to go home to my family. I just wanted to lay down on the couch and put my head on her lap and let the world melt away.<p> I had to talk to the OM last night. It was the last thing that I needed to do yesterday. I called my WW to tell her that she couldn't get the kids today. She has already left work for the day. That was kind of strange. She has done that a couple of times since she left me. She never called me from work with the exception of once and never left work early since she was fully hired at that job. I told him that my YD was sick and I was taking her to the doctor and that my son had basketball practice. I just wish this wasn't happening. <p> I am leaving in a few minutes to take my YD to the doctor. She looks like she has the same thing that my S had not to long ago. I will look in later today.<p>Indy

Indy,
I know how you feel, generally. And then I truly admire all the BS's going through this pain with kids. But in a way, I think they can help you. They give you a sense of purpose... and you HAVE to sorta push yourself to be strong and get on with life. You have them in your life to love, and they love you. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>There's nothing wrong with feeling the sadness from time to time... come here talk about it and get some support. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Check in with us later. Hope you are feeling better... and your D too. Sorry she is sick [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>Faith1

Dear Indy,<p>Sorry your little one is not feeling well. What did the doctor say? <p>If only a hug and a kiss could fix all ailments..... [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I hear and understand your sadness and pain. Know this Indy, you are not alone in your emotions. Just feel that way. Even this little MB group here helps us see that we are not alone. Really are the MBers here the ONLY ones going through all this suffering? Nope! But as least we have this place to vent and get support. <p>Indy, we will be behind you to help keep you going. Let your little ones be the 'wind beneath your wings' for now. The rest of us will be here for you and provide support and direction. <p>Hugz to you and your family,<p>L.

everyone,<p> My daughter has the same thing that my son had about a month ago. I took her to the doctor and everything played out exactly the same. Hopefully it won't last long. <p> My WW called me on my cell phone while we were at the doctor. She left a message stating that she would like to know what happened today. She came by the house to get the kids and waited till quarter after. She wants me to call her and explain to her why she didn't get the kids. I just don't understand how she can ask me that considering that I left a message with the OM. I think that the message was pretty clear. She of course is calling me by my family name. I just love that she has started to add that to her vocabulary. She never did that. She only started that in november with only a couple of times before. Part of me wants to tell her that is my name that only my family uses, and you are not family anymore buy your own choice. Would that be a bad thing? Also, why would she call me when I left a message last night with the OM? <p>Indy

Well Indy, maybe your W and the OM are having communication problems? eh???? <p>Just leave a message saying you did inform the OM since you were not able to reach her. She may want to look in to why she did not get that message. Make no apologies for her not getting the message. K? She appears to be trying to pull your strings. CUT THEM!!! <p>L.

Orchid,<p> Here is the problem. She doesn't work tonight. So, I would have to talk to her. It almost seems that she is trying to make it look like I didn't call her back. I don't know what to say about communication problems. I think that they did this together. What do you think about the name thing? She always identifies herself by name on the phone. I don't need her to tell me it is her. I know the sound of her voice. <p>Indy

Well Indy, <p>My 2 cents is that if OM and WS have a communication problem it may very well spill your way. You have to learn to step out of that way. <p>When this happens at work, what would you do? I know this is kind of a bad example but it does have similarities. <p>As for her calling you by your family name, the real reason c/b to hurt or something else. Unless you see more action, you gotta let it roll off your back. Why? Well for me, I id myself when I call H on his cell. H does not usually id himself when he calls others and sometimes gets questioned by others. He gets offended. See for me, I was taught to always id myself. So if she does that, I personally would not be offended. <p>Now if she is sarcastic about it then I would say something. Be as casual as you can be about. Put away the microscope and don't put it all under observation. Don't disect everything. It is not healthy for you and it won't help matters. <p>Does this help?<p>L.

Orchid,<p> I don't know. I know that I shouldn't examine everything, but it is hard to do. I don't think that I am going to call her. I think that I will wait until she has to work again and I will leave a message then. I just really wish this wasn't happening. I hate this. I miss talking to her, but I find that I still can't get past the hurt of hearing her voice. <p> How are things on your end?<p>Indy

Orchid,<p> My WW just called. I love the fact that she calls after they are in bed. She said that she loved them and that she was here when she told me that she would be here and they weren't. Told them that she was going to see them on wed. Is she trying to make them hate me? <p> I was really temped to pick up the phone, but I didn't. I am accuatley thinking that I would call her back. Do you think that I should? Please help me with this. My heart really wants to talk to her, but again my head is showing me images that I really don't want to see.<p>Indy<p>[ January 12, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,<p>My opinion may not be what you need right now. But I will give it anyway and hope others will give their's also. <p>Here goes: You can let her know that you appreciate her being here but that since you had to take your daughter to the doctor and had no other way of notifying her that that is what happened. No apology. In a nice tone. <p>See she must realize that will happen periodically when she lives away from her family. No guarantees. This is where you can now shine. Remember when we were told that we can not control them and their lives? Right, now same goes with you and your family. She can not expect you all to be there whenever she swings by. So you say politely, that you will try but there are no guarantees. Leave it at that. Let her stew over it. She wants to make further conversation about it and you can't handle it then tell her. You can talk about it later but now is not a good time. Then end it. No more conversation. You pick the time now not her. <p>Can you do that? <p>Hey everyone else!!!! Give your 2 cents. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.<p>ps: I am leaving work now so will not be available for while. Will check back laters. K?<p>[ January 12, 2002: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

Indy,<p>Hi, here is the nosy californian again ...<p>IMHO, don't call her. The reason is you still love her and you want to protect that image of her like you say, let it go indy. You don't want to go there unless there is definite sign from her, don't get hurt again.<p>Have you watch TheLordOfTheRing ?. I enjoyed it since theOneRingThatRuleThemAll is similiar to A that lured and sucked people that failed to protect their weakness.

Redhat,<p> Hello it is good to hear from you again. Unfortuantley you are about five minutes to late. I called her. <p>Everyone,<p> I hope I didn't do anything wrong. Here is the conversation.<p>Me: I got your message.
WW: Yea.
Me: Well, what did you need?
WW: I was there to pick up the kids and you weren't there.
Me: Did you get my message that I left you?
WW: Yes, it said that I could pick up the kids on time.
Me: No, that is not the message that I left. I told him that you weren't going to be able to get the kids, because I had to take YD to the doctor and S had basketball practice.
WW: Is YD ok?That is not the message that you left.
Me: Yes she is fine. She is sleeping now. That is the exact message that I left.
WW: That is not what (Friend) said.
Me: I didn't talk to (Friend).
WW: Yes, you did. Also, do me a favor. If I tell you that I am at work please call there not here.
Me: I called your work at 10 pm they told me that you were gone for the evening. So, I called there.
WW: That is not true I was there until 2am.
Me: I am telling you what they told me. There is nothing that I can do about that. If they tell me that I have to beleive them.
WW: Well, you don't have to be a smart a** about it.
Me: I am not. I am just telling you what they told me. Wed will not be a good day. S has basketball practice.
WW: Fine can I get them on thursday?
Me: I don't think that will be a problem.<p>She then asked about a schedule for his games. I told her that I already have one. I asked her if that was it and she said yes. I said thank you and hung up. Of course I am paying for it now. The pain of knowing that she is out there. Was this a mistake?<p>Indy

Hi Indy...
just passing through for a minute... my 2 cents.... No contact is mainly for your benefit. You see why now, right? I wish you 2 had another way of communicating. She doesn't have e-mail? <p>Sounds like there's communication problems between her and OM. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I think you handled the phone call just fine... of course we can't hear the tone of voice on here. Just remain polite and business-like when you have to talk to her. I know that's hard to do. How do you feel about the phone call? I know you're in pain thinking about her voice and all. It's ok to be angry or sad. <p>I'll check back in later, k? <p>hugssssss.... hang in there....<p>Faith1

Faith,<p>No contact is mainly for your benefit. You see why now, right? I wish you 2 had another way of communicating. She doesn't have e-mail? <p>Well, I found out recently that she does. She emailed my son's teacher at school.<p>How do you feel about the phone call?<p>I really don't know. To be honest. This is the first time that I found out that they are not living alone. I think that it was kind of good and bad. It is almost like she got caught in a lie and back pedaled. I think that I let some of the enter turmiol come out in my voice. It wasn't bad, but you could tell. <p>When she asked if our YD was ok I almost told her that of course she is ok. I have everything under control and that you are not needed here anylonger. Don't worry I didn't.<p>Indy<p>[ January 12, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Everyone,<p> Just wanted to let you know that I am still alive.<p>Orchid,<p> How are things going for you and the family? It is difficult for me with this being the one year anniversery for me being seperated from my WW and children. <p>Indy<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,<p>I am doing ok. Still at work tonight but will be going home soon. Thanks for asking. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Well sounds like you handled yourself ok. So she has a bad answering service. ..... just another reason to consider coming home right?? Ok. so the housemate or whoever LB'd..... That's ok [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You also ended the call on a more settled note. Good job. I still see positive stuff here Indy. Little ones but postive none the less.. <p>Will check back on you laters. <p>Take Care,
L.

Orchid,<p> I found a key point in that conversation. She asked me not to call the OM's house anymore. I guess it is starting to bother someone over there. I was really taken back by that statement. What do you think?<p>Indy

Hi,<p>My opinion?!?! Indy +1 OM -1. <p>So the OM is not man enough to take your calls or is it that he just can't get the message right?!?!? Ok my sarcastic side is peeking out. I better go back in the corner. LOL! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Everyone,<p> Just wanted to tell you all that I had one thing more forward today. The child support order went through today. My first check is in the mail now. She will only have about 50 dollars or so a week to live off of.<p> I still find my self thinking about the last conversation that I had with her. I don't know why, but it is just there.<p>Orchid and Faith,<p> How are things going for you both today?<p>Indy