MiM,<p> I have been away for alittle while. Sorry. How is you day going.<p>Indy

Oh daybreak,<p>I am so sorry to hear about your pet. That will be hard for your little one. I have a 10 year old too. She is a great companion. She has really been helpful these past few months. In fact, all my kids have. My second oldest has taken over the commisary shopping for me. She is such a help. They all pitched in tonight to help get the house decorations up...it was neat.<p>I am so sorry you won't be recognized at his retirement.....have you talked to him about it. He won't have you and the kids there.....? That is really self-centered. I just don't understand it...I want to shake them. They blow off years of dedication and love...... for what? It amazes me on the excuses they give. As far as I am concerned....there is no reason to break apart a family....unless physical or mental abuse(which in my case was probably true) occurs.<p>They are being selfish. My respect for my H has fallen to an all time low. <p>Anyway, hang in there. Your daughter will recover...and some tears may help everyone feel better. This may be a good time to get a new pet for Christmas. I am sorry tho...we lost our cat the week after my H left. He hated that cat...so I know he didn't take him. Take care....and you and your family will be in my prayers. Pat

MnM<p>If your kids are like mine they just think that it is pretty normal that dad isn't here as he was gone TDY most of the time. He was never gone very long a week or two then home and then another week or two, first year at Whiteman he was gone 220 days total. Mine don't think on their own to call them, it is usually at my suggestion. He does call them once or twice a week. Will usually ask to speak to me.<p>I did stop at the BX tonight and looked at cologne and got a CD for him instead, am trying to decide where to send his birthday present, he graduates the 12th b day is the 17th and won't be here til the 20th. I know the address where she is and am sure that that is where he will spend his b day. Do have the red sports car, not sure if I should send it too or not!!<p>Dawn

Hi Indy,<p>Thanks for the inquiry...I had a pretty good day. Actually, school is going really well this year. I teach special services...and some years are more difficult than others. My kids this year are fun.<p>My own kids have been great the last few days too....something is bound to change that soon---it has been too nice around here lately. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am starting to accept this situation...and all the horrible things he has done to me in the past---but I can't get over being sad. <p>We watched Mr. McGoo's Christmas Carol again tonight---and my eyes welled up. We always watched that together. I don't understand how you walk out on a marriage and family after 25 years. I don't get it. I guess I will never find the answers. <p>This is my worse time of the day. I am so busy all day---but I get home and feel so empty. The kids pretty much are living like they used to....I am the one most affected by this mess. It's lonely and I really miss him. I just miss him being part of "us". I can't imagine not having him in my life. I can't imagine trying to start over without him. It just feels so empty.<p>I would love to sell this house and move and start making my life what I want it to be. I think it would help to get out of these memories. We have a great house....but, it is hard living here now. <p> I wish none of us would have to go through this...it truely is heartbreaking.<p>I dreamed last night that he came home...it was so real. Then this panic set in that I wouldn't be able to do it this time. He has done and said too much. And he involved my kids this time. He has shown no consideration for me or the kids. I don't think I could forgive that--even if he did decide to come home. I don't need to worry tho--he has shown no indication of even considering coming home. <p>Got to go run and do homework and bathtime. Take care everyone....I probably won't be on again until Friday....have my class in KC tomorrow night.

Daybreak,<p>It is indeed a small world! I am so very sorry. I listen to yours and MnM&#8217;s words and I feel terrible. I&#8217;m not sure if you&#8217;re familiar with my story&#8230; Diagnosed with chronic depression, dystymia and major depressive incidents (whatever that is) after D-day wake-up call. <p>I&#8217;m guilty of many of the same things you&#8217;re H&#8217;s are. She did so much for our family and myself over the years. The TDYs just made it easier for the depression to take over and I just came home mentally less and less. When I retire my wife will certainly be there, if she&#8217;ll come. I owe her so very much and I have no idea how to express what it&#8217;s meant to me. I used to go for extended periods. 3, 4, 6 month trips were the norm. My remote was no big deal, it was just 2 deployments back to back&#8230; She did it all while I was gone, what an amazing woman!!<p>My plan (prior to D-Day) was to present a diamond anniversary ring to her at my retirement as a small token. She&#8217;s been teasing me about a real &#8220;rock&#8221; for years and I always tease back that all a diamond is is coal with an attitude and a good agent. I figured that would be a nice surprise. I need to do an update very soon my situation has changed a lot recently but it looks like I still may be able to do that! <p>MnM,<p>How many of us have heard those lies? We&#8217;re not loved never were, never should have been. I told my W a week or so ago that if that&#8217;s how it all was she was a bloody fool for marrying me in the first place. (I feel I&#8217;m entitled to a well placed and discrete LB occasionally.) I still hurts, even when you know deep in their hearts they don&#8217;t mean it. <p>I&#8217;m struggling with my kids right now&#8230; Well I&#8217;m struggling with it all really. All I did for 20 years was for my W and kids, all the sacrifices thay made and I made were to get where we are now. All for nothing as it appears right now. Was it worth it? My kids are great! My son is in tech school right now, we separated while he was in basic and had to try and keep it quiet until he got finished. That&#8217;s added stress he didn&#8217;t need! But I&#8217;ve talked to my kids and asked them what they think. My son says he loved his life and even with my withdrawal was still a fantastic dad (I&#8217;m tearing up again just typing this) and my D wishes that we were PCSing again. My kids don&#8217;t need me, they never had me to depend on due to TDYs and my depression when I was home. I can see where you&#8217;re kids are coming from if H was gone a lot.<p>My W is a fantastic mom, this has really hurt her and the kids. I tried to do some damage control and explain that it wasn&#8217;t W&#8217;s fault that she got tired of being left alone and lonely but it just backfired. She&#8217;s angry with me and the kids see me as the victim. I&#8217;ve told her that she will have to deal with the fallout as she will. We&#8217;ve always taught our kids responsibility for ones actions, now she and I both get to &#8220;walk the walk&#8221;. I do wish you all the best!!!

sofar2go,<p>I would like to suggest the new 3 diamond ring...the past..the present....and the future.<p>You have the past... good bad or indifferent it is the past, the present... the healing of both of you, and the future that you are building as healed individuals.<p>When is it that you retire? What is it that your son is going to do in the AF? did he follow in your footsteps?<p>The teacher that I am an aide for suffers from depression, he was just diganosed 5 weeks ago and has started meds, we hope that he will be back after christmas break. <p>Dawn