Hi, <p>Thanks for the kick.....start! <p>H is out of town this weekend (job work related & has a class to take in that area - also work related). OW is not with him.<p>We had a brief discussion yesterday and I shared my thoughts of how looking over all that has happened here is what I saw:<p>1. OW makes many promises/claims:
a. to send H to school
b. to give H money
c. claims to have bought plane ticket
d. claimed to be prego 3 times - no proof
& no baby
e. bought shirt for H - gave it to her hubby
(btw - H even tried it on - then her H
took it ?!?!?)
f. claimed to be buying a motorcycle (h wants
one real bad)
g. promised to buy H a motorcycle
h. now wants to go and buy property with H
i. set H up with his own internet business
j. promised to make him a sucessful man
k. promised to make him healthier with her
than with his family<p>2. H's side -
a. talked about buying her Jeep
b. talked about going into busienss with her
c. talked about buying a motorcycle
d. talked about moving into the mountains far
away from everyone
e. spent family money (thousands of dollars)
on their relationship (moved out, 3 day
vacation, motel 6 type sex escapades,
cell phone bills, etc.)
f. went to jail for domestic violence charge
(later dropped - but you can't erase that
it happened). Minor compared to most but
still traumatic.
g. loss of work
h. suicidal
i. relationship with God, broken.
j. physical ailments due to stress. <p>3. What I observed/did and suffered:
a. received and saw many lies
b. lost lots of money in interests, nsf fees
work time, etc.
c. suffered anxiety attacks & even suicidal
bouts.
d. mental effects on son, family and friends.
e. gave H money to bail his but out.
f. 2 miscarriages (1 last year and 1 this year)
g. tremendous strain on work, homelife, etc.
h. relationship with God strained.
i. physical ailments due to stress.<p>I guess there could be more..... Looking back I see a lot of talk and nothing to show. On H's side I see some talk and lots of money flowing out the door (family money - not extra money). <p>I share this with him and said that I no longer am willing to provide H with home and support if he allows contact with OW and is not honest with me. Yes, I have said this before. My boundaries have not moved, just the enforcement of them. <p>H agreed. H got angry at me hung up and then when he simmered down, we continued our discussion. He was in the middle of getting ready for work. The point he appears to be 'finally' learning is that when he stresses he is now realizing he is not the only one stressing. For some crazy reason he thought he was the only one stressing. Crazy or what? More like stupid..... but it is a learning point. See how the fog makes you stupid? Cloggs up the brain, kills the calculator. <p>So we are at this point. No proof or reassurance from H about ending his relationship with OW (he has not seen her but did speak with her on the phone last week), then no more support from me and we separate. The onis is on him. He agreed. <p>L.
