If for no other reason than the fact that he's sloppy!<p>He's young and stupid (31). So busy thinking with his pants that he fails to see that he's not even stealth about it.<p>umph, umph, umph!

Why waste the time and money buying him a book. Just open a hotmail email account and include links to the book on amazon. <p>I'd also write the OW an email and ask her how she feels about screwing over her career by screwing _______. <p>
Use an email name like<p>Someonewhoknows, RUstupid or URwifesfreind

Oooooohh,
So many devious minds!!!!! I like, I like alot!

My vote is to tell current wife now.<p>He's already been put on notice by your co-worker when he replied with the latin quote. So he seems immune to the office gossip concern.<p>I'd still give him the book cuz he needs it.<p>But why does he get a chance to clean up his act? And shouldn't the wife get a chance to stop him before he goes PA?<p>Tell her now is my vote!

Here's what I decided to do and why:<p>I got a hotmail account and sent TOW an anonymous note.<p>Of all of the people involved in this particular triangle I think that she is the most pathetic and the only one likly to change.<p>I don't particularly care for her, but feel REALLY sorry for her. She's desperate to be liked and rather...I just don't know how to describe her. Picture Fran Drescher from the Nanny, with less than zero self esteem. I mean this woman advertises that her husband doesn't love her. It's really sad.<p>This guys a pig who's set in his way. Not likely to change. And his W, well, what does she expect. She somehow things she's got a catch. Poor short-sighted dear.<p>As some of you know i'm not a sugary sweet kind of person. Most NY-ers are not. I sent TOW a very sweet message that basically started off nice and encouraging, gave her the facts, pointed out that EVERYONE knows and is talking/laughing about it, offered her concrete suggestions, offered her encouragement, and then ended in a nice way.<p>She's not here today, so I guess she got it.<p>I honestly feel sorry for her. She's one lost child. It's truely tragic to see.<p>I hope she finds a way to fix whatever hurts for her.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Katie Scarlett:
<strong>
Of all of the people involved in this particular triangle I think that she is the most pathetic and the only one likly to change.<p>I don't particularly care for her, but feel REALLY sorry for her. She's desperate to be liked and rather...I just don't know how to describe her. Picture Fran Drescher from the Nanny, with less than zero self esteem. I mean this woman advertises that her husband doesn't love her. It's really sad.
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Do you really think that someone that desperate and needy has the strength to dump the MM? It seems rather unlikely. My H's OW was also a poor, pitiful thing (at least that's the angle she liked to play) and she hung on like a pitbull (no matter what happened) until we threatened to involve the police. Before the A she used to whine to my H about her "terrible, mean, drunken, abusive" boyfriends and how unhappy she was. But even those guys dumped HER. I think he could have left her and come back to her a thousand times and she still would have hung if he would have allowed it. Women who are that needy will usually try to cling to any man they have for dear life. A little embarassment usually won't give them the strength to break it off. I do think it's good that you let her know that it's no secret though.

I don't know if she'll let go. I think that she just might. It's VERY obvious that this is her first EMA. (As an xOW, I can spot the newbee's at 1000 paces.)<p>Everyone knows that he dogged her out once and now here they go again. I pointed that out in the letter.<p>Hopefully she's out today getting a new wardrobe and some self respect. She's a size 2 and dresses like a street walker in the office. A street walker circa 1982. (HELLO, pick up a copy of Vogue). <p>Ok, anyway. It's really, really, really important for her to feel liked and respected. So maybe it'll make the dif. I hope so!