Or, for some of you, what did it mean to you?<p> I always believed in the saying that our rings were a symbol of our love, without beginning and without end. <p> If I had to take mine off for even a little while I felt naked. Like part of me was missing. My finger would actually itch until I put it back on.
I notice my other fingers searching my ring finger for it. <p> I am courious what your wedding ring means to you now? <p> Last Thursday I removed my wedding ring. Hardest thing I have done. I miss it terribly. But to continue wearing it only helps me fool myself, continue believing the lie. <p> Wife only wears hers when I mention that she hasn't worn it for several days. She uses the excuse that it has gotten to big and she is affraid it will fall off. I offered to have it resized. Always some reason she doesn't want that.<p> Perhaps I will stop missing mine soon. Wife still hasn't noticed that I took it off. That should tell me something......again.<p> jd<p>[ January 17, 2002: Message edited by: jdmac1 ]</p>

just 'cause she hasn't says she didn't notice... doesn't me she hasn't...<p>over the summer I took mine off for weeks at a time... H never said anything... when he took his off in August and I lost my mind over it... he mentioned all the times I had not worn mine over the summer...<p>they're watching us... they just don't want us to know... or to know it matters...

Wow.... I JUST took mine off last nite. BIIGGGGG step for me. I have tried 2-3 times before, and couldn't do it. Last nite I did, and I feel ok. It's a part of letting go.<p>What did they mean to me? A lot. I never took my rings off. H didn't either. Until his A. They were truly a symbol of our love - neverending - faithfulness and commitment - and a symbol of the treasure we thought we had. Ever since D-day, I always looked to see if he had it on. After I asked him about it one time (the first time he came home), he actually started wearing it around me. I guess I was looking to see if he had any hope for us.<p>I put them on a candle, next to our wedding picture on the entertainment center. THey will stay there for a little while. Probably until the D is final.<p>Actually... I watched "7th Heaven" last nite, and it was about letting go. Several of the characters were in the process of letting go a relationship, and holding on to their rings... and they decided to find some closure and take them off. Sorta silly I guess... but this gave me some peace in taking mine off. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ January 15, 2002: Message edited by: Faith1 ]</p>

You know, after DDay 2 in November, I took it off. This little circle just represented the hole in my heart!! I put it back on last week. I just thought, you know, I'M committed, I'M here for the long run, and I will wear my ring to let my H know.
He doesn't wear his for safety issues at work, however, he doesn't put it on at home. Hasn't for a long long time.

JD -- I always wore mine -- always.<p>The story of how I got it meant a lot to me. I actually worked at the jewelery store where H bought it. Small store, all older employees (60ish, saleslady, bookkeeper, jeweler, owner) I was the young college girl working part time.
There was one special ring that was "mine". I even hid it in the corner of the display cases to prevent some other couple from choosing it!<p>My H conspired with my co-workers to buy it and surprise me with it. It was wonderful.<p>A couple years ago I started taking it on and off, when my A was going on. When H disclosed his A to me, I stopped entirely. I haven't worn it in a long time. <p>I'm not sure what it means to me anymore. So much happiness and excitement during the engagement. I really struggle with the fact that he was involved in an A right before and after our wedding. I feel like a fool for wearing it with such pride for all those years. It feels tainted to me now, knowing that when he placed that band on my finger it was a lie.<p>I don't think I'll wear it again. It makes me very sad.

I just took mine off about 3 weeks ago. Have never had it off in over 15 years. When my first child was born (C-Section) the doctor wanted to use something called a "bovi" (?) to cauterize the incision. You cannot have anything metallic (including platinum) touching you while he uses this thing or it could burn your skin. Anywho, I was so huge and swollen, I couldn't get it off and so the nurse tore little pieces of a rubber glove and stuck them between my finger and the ring. It worked and to me, it symbolized that the ring doesn't ever need to be removed.<p>So, it was obviously a big deal to remove it. And he noticed right away. He asked me within about 2 days why I wasn't wearing it. I said it seemed like I was trying to make something real, that wasn't there. Like I was trying to hang on to something that had already been released. <p>It is in my change purse of my wallet (I know that is a stupid place to have it - what if my purse gets lost or stolen??). But, I can't seem to just leave it in a drawer or box. For some reason, I need to still have it with me. <p>I have loved that ring. It is a platinum old mine cut diamond in a square setting. Very different and always gets compliments. He had the wedding band made to fit it and then on our 10th anniversary had another band made to fit the other side. So, there are actually 3 rings. I will never get rid of it. I may eventually wear the engagement part on my right hand. Still not sure.

First of all, I believe that the answer to this question depends upon what you want, where you're at. If you're trying to GET OVER the marriage, then I think it's appropriate to take it off, if you still want your marriage, I believe you should continue to wear it...of course it's a personal choice.<p>What does my ring mean to me?<p>It's a sign of my commitment to, and love for my wife, for God, and for myself. It represents the vow that I made to love her for ever. Even when I was in the midst of my EA and was confused about what I wanted, I guess on some level I still felt that commitment and love because I never took it off.<p>My ring reminds me of the good times that we've had together, I don't see it as tainted. I see it as a sign of the wonderful history that we've shared, as a sign of what CAN BE in the present, and as a hope for a wonderful future.<p>It's beat up, the stones are dirty, and there's a gouge on the inside; but that just signifies to me that I ALWAYS wear it, and therefore am ALWAYS committed to our marriage. I can remember back to the time that we (mostly SHE) were designing her engagement ring, and how I conspired with the jeweler to make her think it wouldn't be done for some time so that I could surprise her with it. Her family was near, and she was able to share her joy with them as well. Then we set about designing her wedding bands and my ring to match - All WONDERFUL times and memories.<p>I wear it because people often notice it and comment on it. That makes me proud to wear it, and proud to be her husband. I know that she gets just as many comments, or more, and I know that at one time, she felt much the same way that I do…… Maybe someday, she'll feel that way again.<p>I wear it because it reminds me of this past summer and our trip to Alaska. I know that she loved me then, even though she WAS thinking of him and was probably in the early to middle part of an EA. She lost her ring in a stream. One in which the prospectors never found gold, well, now gold, and diamonds, and sapphires HAVE been found in that stream because I found it.<p>Why do I wear my ring? Because I love my wife.<p>[ January 15, 2002: Message edited by: kevco- ]</p>

I took of my rings in August....while my WH and I were seperated. It was a BIG step for me.<p>My WH noticed it right away....since we had to take our daughter to her eye specialist appt that day.....though he didn't say much about it. He had already taken his off....the day he left.<p>I still don't have any rings on my finger....since I had to sell mine for money....but my WH is constantly telling me that that is a good thing. I recently found out that he's had new rings....for a new beginning in lawaway since the beginning of October......right around the time he decided that he wanted to be with me. He has special plans for them....which are supposed to take place within the next 3 weeks. He won't tell me....no matter how much I pout about it....lol<p>My WH on the other hand doesn't wear his all the time. He doesn't wear it at work anymore due to too many accidents at work. In the past 3 months the only time he would wear it was when I reminded him to put it on or asked him if he was going to wear it.
NOW.....as of 2 weeks ago. He wears it all the time when he's not at work. I don't have to ask him to put it on. He surprises me all the time by remembering to wear it even when I don't ask him if he's going to.<p>I will have to think about what they mean to me though......it's hard since I don't have mine to look at. My old rings meant nothing special to me after I found out about his A. They did....but they didn't.

I took my wedding rings and 10th Anniversary band off the day our D was final. I haven't looked at them since. Too painful.<p>What DID they mean to me?<p>They represented who I was and my commitment to that, my H's wife and life's partner. They represented the Vows we made on our wedding day. They represented my love for my H.<p>They were very meaningful to me.<p>Jo

The meaning to me is that our rings represented our vows. Of course if they were off, this didn't automatically negate our vows, because we spoke our vows in the presence of God and our closest friends and relatives.

Yes Kevco,<p> It ALL depends on where you are at in your marriage. I have to say though that you would be mistaken to think one would take off the ring/s only if they are trying to get over the marriage.(not meant as any sort of flame)<p> I want my marriage very much. I don't want to get over it in any kind of way. However, WSes will be quick to point out to you that it is not my choice. <p> I feel/felt the same as you. I pray you never have to take yours off Kev. But if you ever do, I hope you still feel like I do. That you still want your W and M. Even if you are trying to let go a little.<p> jd

"It is a Christian custom to exchange rings as
a symbol of love. As the rings have no end so
your love should have no end. As the rings are
made of gold symbolizing purity, so should
your marriage have purity. As often as either of
you see them, you will be reminded of this
moment and the endless love you promised."<p>MINISTER
"(Groom), what token to you give that you will
perform your vows?" (Minister receives ring and
says to bride.)
"(Bride),do you receive this ring in token of the
same?"
BRIDE
"I do." (Groom places ring on Bride's finger.)
MINISTER WITH GROOM REPEATING
"(Groom), this ring I give to you in token and
pledge of my constant faith and abiding love."
MINISTER
"(Bride), what token to you give that you will
perform your vows?" (Minister receives ring and
says to groom.)<p>"(Groom), do you receive this ring in token of the
same?"
GROOM
"I do." (Bride places ring on Groom's finger.)
MINISTER WITH BRIDE REPEATING
"(Bride), this ring I give to you in token and
pledge of my constant faith and abiding love."<p>just my take on the whole thing, not much more I can say.

BTW... my very astute 6 year old asked Dad why he didn't wear his ring anymore... why was it on his keychain...<p>Dad ignored the question... (and so did I).<p>Cali

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Cali:
<strong>BTW... my very astute 6 year old asked Dad why he didn't wear his ring anymore... why was it on his keychain...<p>Dad ignored the question... (and so did I).<p>Cali</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Cali,<p>Isn't it something how perceptive small children are? We don't give them enough credit. Some think just because they are children they don't know precisely what's going on. <p>Is that denial in people (adults) or are they that stupid?<p>Jo<p>[ January 15, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

JD-
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I want my marriage very much. I don't want to get over it in any kind of way. However, WSes will be quick to point out to you that it is not my choice. <hr></blockquote><p>A WS can no more tell you what you SHOULD or SHOULD NOT choose to want, any more than you can tell them what they should or should not feel. <p>My point is that if a person still WANTS the M, and wants to present a VERY obvious sign to the WS (or BS), then they should continue to wear the ring. Isn't the ring a sign of the commitment to the M? If so, by taking yours off, have you given up your commitment to the M? If not, then why remove the sign of it?<p>Not only that, but when the other spouse notices, isn't is reasonable to think that they'll view that as an acceptance of their choice to walk away from the same?<p>Think about it. When my W took her ring off, it said to me, "I don't want to be married to you any more." Would I want to send that same message back to her? A RESOUNDING NO!!! I DO want to be married to her, I DO love her, I AM committed to her and to our M.<p>Don't get me wrong. For several days after she moved out, I DID take it off, and I took her pictures down from work. I thought I was finished, I thought there was no hope, I saw no other alternative. But then I found MB (and got my butt kicked), and began to see it as I now do. I'm glad she never saw that (though she might read this), because that is NOT the message that I want to send.<p>btw- I'm glad it's not just me. I agree with your post to Lexx, but I haven't been able to get her to respond to similar comments on a couple of her threads this last week.<p>Take care,
Kev

My ring has only been off once since I was married, not a big thing I guess since I havent been married that long but you dont know how I am with jewelry.
[img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>To me is symbolizes everything good about our past, present and hope for the future. It is a bond. it is something she gave to me willingly as a promise of her love. Despite everything. It means very much to me. <p>my WW's ring? its apparently just a piece of jewelry. She admitted to even wearing it with the OM along with using other things I bought for her/US with him.

JD, I feel like you, I missed it and caught myself reaching for it when it wasnt ther to spin it or adjust it. Great commetns as well Kev, I agree wiht them. I took mine of at end of Sept. when I found out she had sex with OM, I have felt like putting it back on since I am committed but what would it accomplish. Get this! Talk about lies! My wife move into her new house before XMAS, I noticed the box that had the diamond pendant that OM gave her on her dresser but not box she had stored her W ring in. I asked her about it last week as we were moving her dresser and she said its right there on her dresser, I said no its not, she then proceeded to look thru her drawers saing it should be there. Don't want to believe that it was an act. Bottom line is that she lost her ring, or did something far worse! Said she is sad about it but never cryed! Meanhwile she says pendant from OM is meaningless, I asked her why not trade it in, whenever you wear it you have to be thinking about him. She changed subject. I could still use a butter knife for the fog!

I can not say anymore than Kev and lhs did. They pretty much summed it up for me. <p>My ring is my source of hope and encouregment. My H still wears his, even after I told him it was worthless and asked him to take it off, he did not. I took mine off for a day. I needed to put it back on. I am still married to my H, I still want to be married to my H and I want to remind myself of that every day and I want him to see that every day.<p>Needing

My Wedding Ring....<p>I took mine off after my h filed for the dovorce... its been over a year now and there are times I still go and feel for it.<p>They're in my jewerly box..... don't know what I'll ever do with that and my 10 year anniversary band..... its just to sad to think about....<p>
Still....<p>s

Am I the only WS to post on this thread? <p>My ring means the same to me as it did the day I married. It is the Irish (hubby is of Irish descent) symbol of love, loyalty and friendship. I have always worn it. I did take it off when I was with OM---it was an all too constant reminder of my treachery. You'd think the fact that I couldn't commit the act with it on would have been a big red light, wouldn't you? Thank God for this ring---it helped bring me out of the fog and end the affair.<p>It now serves to remind me of the things I get from my husband and try to give to him--he is my best friend, I love him and I owe him all my loyalty...in a circle never ending. It is a symbol of what I tried to throw away. It's a symbol of what I try to give him everyday now.<p>Btw, wedding rings are a custom for many religions--not just Christianity as was mentioned before.<p>[ January 15, 2002: Message edited by: diddallas ]</p>