don't know how this fits but you might find it interesting, I was worried as I got older (now 51) I would be "attracted" to young women....this really worried me, didn't want to feel like a dirty old man...well as it turns out, I am not attracted to young women, I prefer women my age...young women seem like children and I end up feeling fatherly, they also seem shallow (not negatively, just have not lived enough, no commonality of life lived, experience). I have an opinion on this (big surprise huh)...IMO one should not attempt a relationship with anyone more than about 15 year difference max...the reason being you are at least still in the same "generation".... any more and you start morphing into parent/child psychological fit, being the "elder" etc. etc.<p>btw, I think the very first question a bs asks, is usally how old is the op (especially if ws is male).... although if ws is female, the very first question seems to be did you have sex.<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: sad_n_lonely ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by sad_n_lonely:
although if ws is female, the very first question seems to be did you have sex.
<hr></blockquote><p>This will show you what a dumb bunny I am. The first questions I asked my H was, first, "Did you kiss her?". The second was "Do you love her?"<p>No answers were given, just a telling look on his face.<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Jo,
As you know some of my story, my Dw had A' with two guys, aged 32 & 36 -- SHE TOLD ME A LOT -- IN REFELCTING BACK, PROBABLLY TOO MUCH! So, you are better off to not know at this point!
It is very upsetting I know. For one thing the secrets -- that by itself is a betrayal & that in my case makes me feel foolish & I think that is why I still stress -- don't want to be made a fool of again -- we need to continue to dis-assiciate our feelings -- what's the word again? "Detach"
Hope you're hangin in!
HH