Still haven't brought myself to tell wife about present. She will go ballistic.
And how do you think she will feel in six months when she finds out?

Marshall..I think you are discounting the notion that complete honesty is HEALING,not hurting. <p>If you tell her you struggled with it...that you fear her reaction...That you are scared it will be the straw that broke the camels back...You are asking her for help.She loves you,she will not deny you support,will she? <p>One of the most damamging things that has happened is the fact that my H comes to clarity and revelatory thinking and does not share these thoughts with me unless I ask him. If you are actually getting somewhere in your thought process, bring her in..It may hurt her but it will only help your M...We all get hurt sometimes,in our Ms and out. But helping your M is the GOAl.<p>Boy, if my H had told me after Dday how he strugghled, we would be soooo much further along by now. Don't miss the opportunity to do the right thing..My H was in your place,EXACTLY, and he withheld. He is full of regret for how he handled himself...and wishes he had JUSt opened his MOUTH and said.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Marshall59:
<strong>Still haven't brought myself to tell wife about present. She will go ballistic. She already wonders about every phone call to house where the is nobody on the other end, even months after my last real contact with OW</strong><hr></blockquote><p>This is a disrespectful judgment of your W. You really do not know how she will react until you tell her. My H judged that I would divorce him if he had an A, but we are still married.<p>And it is normal for a betrayed person to be suspicious. That is a natural reaction and function of protection when one has been grievously injured. Just because it inconveniences you or discomforts you to fear her reactions or suspicions doesn't absolve you of your responsibility to do what is kind and considerate to the one you promise to love, honor, and cherish forever.<p>Has forever come and gone? Feel the fear and do it anyway.