OOOOOHHHH!! Chris!!<p>That my friend is a long time!!<p>But you know what it? It's just not that important if it's not with who I want it to be with!!! I guess that I am just made that way, could be that I am going menopausal too!!! He! HE!!<p>Dawn [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Obviously, you people are made of sterner stuff than me. It's only been about 3 weeks.....what bothers me is the months and months of no touching or holding or cuddling. That and the having sex just to see if he had feelings for me. That's one thing that is getting in the way of me making an honest effort to keep this marriage together.<p>Somebody pass me Mr. Buzzy?

This is one painful thread... aaaagggggghhhhhhh!<p>Last SF was d-day, Sept 3 / 01. (That wasn't the full deal, that was probably about a week before that.)<p>Prior to that, the longest since 1989 would have been about 2 weeks or so.<p>WW said near the start that women can "turn it off" (sex urge)... hmm, sounds fishy to me... more fog talk? Come on now, she's got needs too. I'm more and more convinced that her supposed EA is actually EA/PA. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Phoenix_in_TX:<p>Somebody pass me Mr. Buzzy?<hr></blockquote><p>
I might regret askin, but ummmm, WHO is Mr. Buzzy?<p>[ February 03, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Chris (CA123):
<strong>3 years, 2 weeks</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Jo,
Chris has me beat but not by very much. He has OOOO beat by a yr or so.

Ok, I think that I hold the dubios honor on this one. So I’ll tell mine, then everyone else will be ok…. I really hate admitting this but I have here before so….. <p>The first 7 years of my previous marriage we were very active even though it turns out that he was having affairs then too. Then something happened in year 8, still do not know what it was. It was 'dry' for the next 7 years. And he could not imagine that I no longer loved him!!!!! And SF is very high on my EN list. Some people are so funny (or should I say sick). [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>But I’ve been making up for it since I left him in ’96. Even during STL's affairs we were very active. STL and I figure we need to do it triple time to make up for it. And he’s so nice to oblige. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Now you can all admit how long it’s been for you.
[img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You know, this is a thread that the gloryb snoopers are going to love. They have one other there asking if anyone thinks the OM is still sleeping (read sex) with BS. <p>This is actually a very good topic. Because people need to realize that what ever is going on in their relationship in this area is 'normal'. What ever 'normal' may be.<p>[ February 03, 2002: Message edited by: zorweb ]</p>

You win, Z!<p>But I'm still not sayin.

Hey Z?<p>Weren't you kinda cranky after a while?

Sorry Resilient...<p>I'm just hopin' Princess still lurks [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ....<p>and just in case she is... we haven't had a dry spell of longer than a couple of days since d-day... <p>(Zorweb... I was tempted to post this on gloryb too... but figured I'd be poofed....)<p> [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] I truly don't know how you guys do it... I'd be more than cranky... I'd be Scrooge...Witchypoo... all rolled up into one...<p>Cali

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong>You win, Z!<p>But I'm still not sayin.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>You said you tell if I did and I ttold you I was very close to Chris.

Well-I only have since 7/16/01 (203 days). But for me that is like 20,000 days. My wife and I have always had a very sexual relationship, and she is far and away the best lover I've ever met. And thinking that OM has her now, makes it 1 million times worse.<p>Also-I have fallen so hard back in love with her since d-day-my heart breaks every day the first five seconds I see her.

Cali, I'm with you...I'd be the biggest b*tch in the world if no SF!

Resilient<p>ROTFL….. I was much more the cranky… Hey at least I won at something. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>How do we do it? Well when abstinence is forced on you, and it takes time to resolve a marriage the only choice is to deal with it or have an affair. Some people choose affairs; others try to keep their integrity. <p>In my defense… I tried to leave xH shortly after he announced that he’d never have sex with me again and I discovered his affairs. The judge would not let me take our son and my xH would not either. Judge and H both agreed that if I wanted out of our marriage, I could leave but I would not get custody of our son. The Judge, a woman no less, sided with my xH because he is an physician (she said as much). It did not matter that he was having one affair after another and being abusive. So, my choices were to leave my son alone with an abusive man or to stay until he gave me permission to leave with my son. It took a very long time for him to give me that permission.<p>I have a very strong opinion on forced abstinence now.. it is a very cruel form of emotional abuse. And in every faith an allowable reason for divorce.<p>I know this statement is not going to be popular here… but I wish I’d had an affair. It would have been healthier for me emotionally.

<I might regret askin, but ummmm, WHO is Mr. Buzzy?
><p>Um, just a little light relief. LOL Sorry, I was being a baaaaad girl!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I know this statement is not going to be popular here&#8230; but I wish I&#8217;d had an affair. It would have been healthier for me emotionally.[/qb]<hr></blockquote><p>Wow---really Z?<p>COuld you expand on that sentence?<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: Elad ]</p>

Elad...<p>RE: "Wow---really Z?
Could you expand on that sentence?"<p>OK, I'll explain it. Between xH's withholding SF, any positive emotional support and affection. He was also physically abusive and emotionally abusive. It all took a very big toll on me emotionally. A toll I am still trying to get over 5/6 years after leaving him. It took everything I had to not go nuts. Sure it helped me develop a lot of character. But enough all ready with character. I want to live and enjoy life, not struggle. I feel that in so many ways I lost 7 years of the prime of my life for something that was forced on me.<p>Any one who knows me, knows that I am totally against affairs. But I also believe that there comes a time when a spouse is so abusive that they have given up their rights as a spouse. Even my priest, who knew us, told me that I had no marriage and that he sanctioned my getting a divorce and he’d help me get an annulment. When a Catholic priest tells you its time for a divorce, it’s time to pay attention.<p>Some times I wonder if I would have faired better if I had had an affair. At least I would have had someone who loved me instead of someone who was intent on destroying me. The opportunities certainly were there.<p>Don’t know if this makes any sense… and remember that I did not have an affair. I’m only speculating here.

Z--<p>I just thaougt it was interesting b-cuz so many BSs think of (or at least fantasize about) having their own A. You know, with no ENs being met, feeling rejected, no SF etc etc etc...it would be nice to feel attractive and wanted... <p>Thru all this, I have not had an A for a lot of reasons, but when you said it might have helped you emotionally that kind of made me wonder b-cuz that's exactly one of the key reasons why I wouldn't have one...b-cuz of the (for me) negative emotional impact I think it would have. Who needs more confusion than there already is?<p>From your explanation and your earlier post I can see you were in a unique situation to say the least...<p>It does say a lot about your character that you did not have your own A at the time...<p>Thanks for the explanation...<p>E

You all talk about the craziest thing!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I don't know if I could do w/o that long. It was how I knew something was going on with the OW. When it affected our SF. I knew that something had to be VERY wrong. <p>What is gloryb? just curious???<p>Why would this offend anyone it's all part of the truth of the matter... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

www.gloryb.com<p>see for yourself...

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by sing:
You said you tell if I did and I told you I was very close to Chris.<hr></blockquote><p>Okay .... you're right Sing. Didn't mean to renege on a promise.<p>It's been ... DRUM ROLL ..... 15 long agonizing, frustrating months. <p>If you guys are doing the math, you'll discover that x-H and I have been separated longer than that [4/29/2000]. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Yes, I slipped and met someone. I learned the hard way that I was not ready for a relationship, I was simply trying to put a band-aide on a gapping wound, and in the process complicated my situation and hurt someone too boot. Lesson learned.<p>Lv,
Jo<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>