Dear Lori,<p>You are pregnant and carry lot of responsbility with your family, now to add to that list of children is a 'man' who is acting like a spoiled child. <p>Have you visited with your counselor yet? Even while you are dealing with this, your health and that of your unborn child needs to come first. <p>If he is angry then that is not good for anyone in your home. He needs to go take care of his anger elsewhere. <p>As I said before your H is babbling. Poligamy but without marriage (or something like that) is just adultery spelt differently. Don't be fooled. He wants to go act like a fool, you have to let him go and fall down but by himself. Don't let him take you and the children down with him. <p>Listen, the OW will say whatever he wants to hear. That's the only way she can keep him. I had an ow that bargained down from demanding the Ws 24/7 to 3 days with her and 4 with me. You know what I said to that.....I told the WS he can be the OWs 24/7. I don't share and right now he is not worth my time. $$$ he was obligated but I did not have to put myself at the level of the OW. <p>Read up on plan B and refuse to be the doormat. I understand you are hurt and want to be cared for. For now you will need to rely on others to give you care and support. Until he pulls his head out of 'where it is stuck' and is willing to come out of that crappy fog, he is not bringing value to your family. <p>Read up on your rights for financial support in your state. Know your rights. <p>Expect the OW will fight for what she thinks are her rights. The WS. <p>Know and remember that you and your family are worth more than the OW. <p>L.

You have two choices. Stay and accept the fact that he finds it acceptable to have more than one mate, or get out.<p>This forum very Seldom criticizes choices one makes, but in your case we see a TERRIBLE injustice being done to you. <p>You don't see it. He has you so beat down that you have no fight in you. You have accepted defeat and are half heartedly trying to do "what's best, or right". <p>Unfortunately, your husband is not the norm. The majority of women on this forum have men who understand that what they did "WAS WRONG" . Yours does not. He actually expects you to accept this horrific offer. He will continue to love you as long as you allow him to love others? Bullpoop!!!!!!<p>You are in for a lot of heartache and a destroyed self esteem as long as you see him as you want and not as he really is.<p>My prayers are with you.<p>You need to learn to love yourself, for when you do, you will see him for what he truly is.

Kittygirrrl,<p>-----------------------------------------
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this is complete insanity. why would anyone encourage lorisue to stick around and take this crap from her husband??? he's only treating her the way she's allowing him to--and will continue as long as she does so. <p>does common sense not prevail on this board?? what is this place that encourages people to stay in such horrible relationships?? <p>i don't find the literature here to be logical. in this day & age a marriage does NOT need to be saved at all costs. Especially if the cost is a woman's self-respect and dignity. <p>i've never seen such subtle woman-bashing before OR so many people so willing to follow blindly such ridiculous advice!!! sure, taking a bunch of CRAP from a cheating husband will keep him around and eventually he may REALIZE how much you really love him, but if he doesn't know that already and is willing to belittle you and your feelings---WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU PUT YOURSELF THROUGH SUCH MADNESS??? <p>this place sounds like a cult. y'all are breaking my heart with this desparate talk. it's sad to see so many people willing to put themselves on the back burner to accommodate a selfish, inconsiderate, manipulative, ignorant [censored] in the name of 'saving a marriage'. UGH!
-----------------------------------------<p>I find your recent post here a little confusing. In your thread you advocate continued contact instead of no-contact. It seem you think a BS (wife here) should allow her WS (husband here) to continue contact as long as he so desires for his benefit and the OW’s benefit. <p>What you are seeing here is the madness that continued contact will lead to as the WS and OP concoct every imaginable excuse for continuing their affair. Though lorisue’s husbands’ email is rather unusual, his actions and desires are not. The only way he is going to return to this marriage is if he stops all contact immediately. And the only way that lorisue should continue this marriage (IMHO) is if he initiates no-contact immediately.<p>Kittygirrrl, you cannot have it both ways. When there is continued contact OF ANY KIND, the wife is being treated badly by her H.
As for the woman's self-respect and dignity. That has nothing to do with how she is treated. It has everything to do with how she comports herself.