sNl-<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>it is not about whether you are morally wrong (or even rationally wrong), it is about what works, and what does not, in the murky world of human relationships.....you only have 2 choices, leave her be, or leave her, you have no right to educate her, it is the single most disrespectful thing one human being can do to another, and usually fails miserably....the thing is (probably cause this is mostly a bs board) the ws is just as right as the bs, something bs have such a hard time coming to grips with...it is all about perception, and how you can change that in another, and you can't do it by telling them to change.... <hr></blockquote><p>IMHO this seriously has to be one of the biggest loads of crap i have read here yet to date. If you do not have the decency to end a relationship before you start another, how in the hell can you say anthing about what a BS does or understands, regardless of any situation, does 2 wrongs make a right? <p>I am not trying to "educate" anyone, but if my W does not have the courage to face her fears or needs help getting to the point where she can start thinking rationally then it is up to me to gently guide her, and that is a form of education, she can not do it herself, not to mention if I had been more of a man and said that "we" needed help I undoubtably would not be in this situation.<p>Your replies to most of the posts seem to have little to do with healing and fixing marriages, but rather looking for the "way out" still.<p>kudos to nursebetty for her comments, take a stand, be honest, that seems to be the biggest problem a WS has is honesty, why do you feel the need to continue to lie even after the truth comes out? The BS is not the one telling lie after lie and then wondering why we are mad as hell when the WS keeps doing it, even after we confront you.<p>There is no reason and there is no excuse, you didnt have that personality trait when were first married/dateing, it was something that you started doing to cover your tracks because you knew what you were doing was WRONG.<p>maybe you will continue to be unhappy with yourself, well the only person that can change that is
YOU, and thats why the BS's are here, not just here to please the WS, what are you that special? do you really think we like knowing someone that we have shared our lives, our beds, our hearts, our homes, our families, is off having an A? wtf, you tend to forget that your actions are only justifiable to you, and leave no room for at least trying to end the relationship peacfuly and respectfully.<p>I am getting tired of hearing pathetic reasons why, stop talking and start doing.
