Dear Lora - I have no direct experience with this sort of situation, but I suggest you continue plan A until he makes the decision to leave, then immediately Plan B, although you won't be releasing him to OW to meet his needs - you'll be releasing him to a huge void, perhaps.<p>Regardless, you'll be releasing yourself to think and plan without the constant distraction of trying to be perfect.<p>Good luck.<p>WAT

Lora,<p>You did great.<p>I would have felt like screaming my head off too. He sounds like he is swallowed up in his own self-pity of some kind, and you handled yourself really really well.<p>You said
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So you think I should go to plan B huh? I am not sure why I am so resistant to that. I feel like I should work on detaching first for some reason. Maybe I will write a letter and set a date and continue with the detaching in the meantime. I think no more plan A as far as meeting his needs is really called for...dont you think 21/2 years is really enough?
>><p>It sounds to me that you know what you want to do next. Nobody should do Plan B unless you want to, or unless your love bank is so empty that you would end up hating him if you didn't do Plan B. I think it is good that you know what you are comfortable with and what you not comfortable with at this point in your journey.<p>I am no expert by any means, but I sort of see Last Resort Technique (including detaching) as the middle way between Plan A and Plan B. I think you were planning to do that anyway before you found out about the radio station email.<p>Tammy

Hi Lora,<p>How are you doing? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

WAT,
Thanks for the logical advice that I somehow missed, wait and go to plan B once he moves out. Unfortunatly, I had to kick him out the last ime, I wonder if he will make a move on his own. <p>Tammy,
Yes, I will begin this weekend with some 180s to give him a little something to think about.<p>Orchid,
Thanks for asking. I am a lot better today. I havent seen him due to work scheduals so have had some time to regroup and calm down. I am still shocked he didnt move into the toehr bedroom. I cant deceide if I want to ask him to move or not.