Chris, still laughing about the coke.<p>And firefly reminded me that my h said once 'you're only with me for the sex (that might have been partially true) and the money.' Yeah, he was unemployed when I met him and had more than 15 jobs in the first 15 months--some lasting only a day, some he never got paid for. Oh, and I have always made more than double what he does.<p>Yep, that's me. I'm a shameless gold digger.

But the Coke was only one thing, She did also say;
"You made oat bran muffins that one time." (About 12 years ago, I had high cholesterol and was doing the "6 Week Cholesterol Cure" Lotsa oat bran in the diet. Really works. 225 -> 175 in 2 months!)
"You only bought wheat bread, not white."
"You only bought 1% milk, not whole milk."<p>My wife said she did not leave me/kids for this guy either. "He had nothing to do with it."<p>This is the only input from her which I have had to try and understand the marriage failure.

chris, I suspect your wife has a serious communication problem, and what those things meant was she felt she was not a full partner (whether true or not) in the marriage, that essentially you (whether deliberately, or by her own avoidance behaviour) called the shots. This is a hard thing to understand, and I am only really finally beginning to(and some does apply in my marriage too), the "fix" is radical and difficult, and I don't think many get to do it (either opportunity, or apply it right). But what do I know, anyways just a thought, everything means something, and either your wife is nuts, or she is telling you something important (albeit in chineese).

I think that the stupidest thing he ever said to me was "It's too bad we don't live in France, cause then this would be quite acceptable and he could have both of us" I'm pretty sure it wouldn't matter where I lived, it wouldn't be acceptable to me! <p>"It's too bad you found out, because in a few months it would have been over and you wouldn't have been hurt" His A lasted about 5 yrs!!<p>I don't know if any one you have ever heard of West Edmonton Mall, it's here in Canada, and it has this fancy hotel with theme rooms. He took her there for a weekend in the Roman Room, heart shaped bed, jacuzzi, etc. $500 a night. When I brought it up in front of the T,(he didn't know I knew) he said the room didn't have a bed, it had racks!! He also told the T that it was more of a father/daughter relationship (he was 40, she was 21 when it started). I said "yeah, father's always f*&^ their daughters!" <p>He also told me that the many times that he spent weekends with her in hotels, they never slept in the same bed. <p>How does a genius become so stupid?? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Oh, i have to play:<p>WS: "you rich people!" <p>WS: "You are not real, only EMT's firefighters and policemen are real because they put their butts on the line every day." <p>WS: "you are too independent!"<p>WS: "Your success makes me feel bad!"<p>WS: "If i told you that OM and I were going to go to. . . , you wouldn't have let me go!"<p>STBXW: "I know that this is your vacation time with the kids, but to take them to your house and NOT go somewhere with them is cruel and immoral!"<p>STBXW: "I live in the present. . . the future is irrelevant." (right, like not being responsible for the future results of your actions!)<p>XFIL: "I don't want to learn how to do xyz, I want someone to blame if it goes wrong."<p>BS: "What do you mean you haven't loved me for 10 years? I have cards from you saying that you did."
WS: "ohhh, I just wrote that stuff."<p>BS: "are you trying to tell me that (me trying to repeat what i just heard her say) . . . . . ?"
STBXW: "don't tell me what to think!"<p>WS: "I washed the floor yesterday, that means you should be unpacking those boxes right now without a break!" (i didn't know that's what washing floors meant!) <p>well, some slightly off topic, but reality, not in this millenium. . .<p>wiftty

After 2 years, I could probably write a book, but here's the 3 most ridiculous.....<p>"You really should change your toenail polish color. That looks like something my mom would wear."<p>"Could you please change the hairspray you use, I really don't like the scent."<p>After learning that he was still sleeping with OW, not using protection, even after it was confirmed that he gave me HPV...."I didn't figured it mattered if I used condoms or not. I already gave you one STD."<p> [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

The STBX's A started when he was 43 and having lots of nagging sports injuries.<p>Now 3 yrs later he is living with the OW, who is at least 12 yrs his jr.<p>My OS (17.5) heard the OW's family ask STBX if he had his mid-life crises yet<p>STBX replied No, I don't think so.<p>OS comes home & can't believe OW's family asked the question, isn't it obviovios & then can't believe his dad doesn't think he has had one.

After just staring at me for a few minutes...<p> "You know, if I was a mad scientist and could mash you and the OW together I'd have the perfect woman."<p> Uh.....right.

I could add a couple from the mouth of my doofus:<p>"She's got two young children and no one to help her and her life is so hard and I feel sorry for her." (Didn't bother him that he was doing the same thing to me and to our two children who were 4 and 2 when he moved out.)<p>"I have this chance at happiness. I don't know if it will work out. But I've got to take this chance." (That woman never even went out with him. He asked her and she turned him down.)<p>And once, when I'd made him mad over something, I said "Excuse me for breathing." And, YUP - IN FRONT OF OUR CHILDREN, his reply was "I wish you wouldn't."

This one isn't quite in the same class as those who have gone before me, but it's so recent that I'm still kind of amazed:<p>"I know you think our moral compasses point in different directions but they are closer than you think."<p>She followed her moral compass into multiple adulterous affairs and several more EAs. If my moral compass were at all close to hers I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

WH: 'Maybe we can live together again when my sex drive slows down, in 10 or 14 years.' (I'm not able to fulfill his SF due to being disabled)<p>He also told me a list of all his female friends and why he couldn't marry each of them (ummm, you're already married to ME??). Of course OWs name was not on that list.<p>I guess now that he's living with the OW he's getting all the sex he wants.... I don't know, I went to plan B as soon as he didn't want to give her up.<p>Evensong

There are so many, but the following really sticks out in my mind. It was mere moments after I found his cell phone, and learned the numerous EA's were continuing 5 mths post D-day number 1.
He said:<p>You know what?? You really have to stop putting me under a microscope.<p>That one just kills me!!

WS "I think we really need to make a list of all our incompatibilities."<p>Me: "Such as?"<p>WS: "You like carrots and I don't."
(Seriously, this is exactly what he said!!!!)<p>Me: "How about if we also make a list of all our compatibilities?"<p>WS: "Do you think that's really important?"

Oh these are too funny! I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Here's mine:<p>BS- according to this cell bill you called my mother after my surgery and talked to her for 4 minutes. Five minutes later it shows you calling OW and talking for 30. What in god's name were the two of you discussing? I had just gone through major surgery.<p>WS- She was concerned about your surgery and wanted to know how you were doing.<p>YEAH RIGHT!<p>My thought: they were hoping I'd die on that table and the two of them could continue their little liason without the added headache of a wife interefering. I did have the nerve to tell him this. Of course he denies my thought. <p> Oh and another one:<p>WS : I never meant for this to happen.
BS: Let's see you meet her one evening,at the end of a bar, ask her to spend the following day with you, lie and tell her you are separated from your wife, then sleep with her that same afternoon.
WS: Yes, but I never meant for it to happen.<p>Right, hello turnip truck, could you please come back and pick me up seems I've fallen and can't get up.

Been reading and this is too cute! A lot of the same as above from my H... let's see...<p>"MY leaving has nothing to do with the OW"
funny when he left he sd he thought he loved her, and just had to find out.<p>"I have never been happy for 10 years"<p>"I love you" sd this throughout the whole thing to me.<p>"She turned me on to the Heights, but I did not move her because of HER..."
the neighborhood he lives in...<p>"It is a psychic connection"- he and the OW<p>"She would NEVER do that...." regarding all the harassing hang ups I constantly got...<p>"It's more than just sex"-- what is it then?<p>"SHe and I are the same, we are alike in every way... we are like the same person... " FOG?????<p>" I really know her" (they have known each other 5-6 months at work... and he has known me 18 years...????<p>
DOn't know what else... it just makes me sick....<p>but this is a funny link, thanks!<p>TOday.... "I don't know why I called you, I just did" "Do you want to clean my toilets" "Can you wash my dishes?" <p>Not long ago... "I can't come home, but you cam come and live here..." (about the house 2 blocks away from ow in bad neighborhood for schools and kids...<p>Also..."I would never have sf with someone who has a disease, etc...."<p>We found out she has bachettes (sp?) not a vd, but some kind of disease that produces blisters all over her body..??/ (My H is very particular about bodies and things like that... he would never like anything like that... but this is what he ended up with)<p>Also told me she used to be really fat, and everyone called her Michelle the Whale growing up! HEHEHEHE<p>
Hugs, RMM

I guess it's good to find to find something funny in the pain. And I find it comforting to know I'm not alone in hearing most of this babble. <p>I guess I've heard most of the "standard" ones, but this one is super foggy. After telling me that he hasn't loved me for a while, probably for years [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] , he said: "You don't love me either, because I read that note in your locker that you wrote to T*** (my friend) saying you thought B*** B*** was cute." Bear in mind that I was 15 and H was 17 and we were in high school when I wrote this, and we are now 37 and 40. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] My H is the grand champion of grudge holders.

And the weird thing is now, that we are supposedly in recovery, he says he can't remember saying most of it and besides he didn't mean it anyway. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Hmmm.. For me it would be D-day night while he was packing to leave.. (I told him to leave)<p>Me: I want my ATM card before you leave. (I have a seperate account that the $$$ from my lawsuit is in.)<p>WS: But I'm broke and I'm on a quarter tank. <p>Me: Guess your not going far huh? <p>Then the MOST RIDICULOUS thing is: <drum roll><p>WS to ow in a Christmas card: Luvs you with all my heart and we'll be together soon. <BARF!!><p>Isn't it amazing how delusional our WS's can be?!?!?

The most ridiculous thing he said to me was this:<p>"The affair was your fault." While he was shacking up with the married OW, I was thousands of miles away at home taking care of EVERYTHING and He was playing in Korea!!!<p>The funniest, "I do want to be your friend." This was after telling me over IM about everything and that he wanted a divorce...just not the details, which I made him give me over the phone soonafter. Ha, with friends like him, there is no way I ever need any enemies!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Chris (CA123):
<strong>"I like Coke but you buy Pepsi"
"You made oat bran muffins that one time."
"You only bought wheat bread, not white."
"You only bought 1% milk, not whole milk."<p>This is the only input from her which I have had to try and understand the marriage failure.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Chris, I'm sorry for your pain, but these really are priceless! You had me laughing so hard, I'm crying.<p>The only input I'm getting from DH is similar:
WS: "I can't talk to you about this. I just had to leave."
WS: "I just don't want to be married anymore."
BS: "You're living w/ow. Isn't that a PSEUDO-M?"
WS: " No, it's not the same thing. We're just dating."<p>I think my turnip truck is rounding the corner! [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

"I did not give you that STD." (H is the only man I've ever been with.)<p>"You know, Cafe Woman asked me about a year ago if you had any problems with our friendship." (he now denies telling me this.)<p>More recently:<p>"I have never lied to you." (Although he lied to me for over 13 years about the STD Tramp.)<p>My response: "That's another one!"