guys, guys, please dont fight over little ol me. at least it all gave me a smile. thanks for the advice- i appreciate all of it. his actions are a little different today- lets see where this goes.

Nikko: <p>Glad it made you smile [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ! See, I knew there was a GOOD reason for posting again!<p>Praying and Hoping the BEST FOR YOU, ~Marie

no, don't follow you around marie, and almost did not post cause I thought might annoy you, but would not be fair to nikko (et al) if I did not give my thoughts.... wasn't that pessimistic, just my opinion of dr phil, I think these people can do as much harm as good, and it is healthy for us non-experts to critique em IMO....but I am in a pessimistic place in my life at the momement, guess that is the way it is when your life is a wreck, so may be reflected in my rhetoric...sorry to annoy you.<p>btw nikko, I did not mean that to refer to your H in particular, as always ones spouse is the best judge of the other...it was more a general refutation of dr phils implications in this particular regard....IMO he would do a lot more good if he stuck to life strategies type focus, I think he is a mediochre marriage counsellor at best......and was in part due to the many woman I see here beating a dead horse with a man who will never meet their needs, or even care much about it...will just use them if they let em, or move on to a less demanding woman...that is the real nature of many men IMO...they get it just fine, they just don't intend to do anything about it preferring women who are easier to control.<p>[ March 17, 2002: Message edited by: sad_n_lonely ]</p>

and for the record marie, your suggestion of how I should have made my point was much better than how I did make it...I was too lazy to throw in all the disclaimers I guess...anyways Dr phil is just as guilty, hope someone straightens him out too.<p>and lets hope you are right about nikkos H, I hope so too...it is just that I see women hanging on far too long, and that disturbs me I guess, as well as settling for less too often.<p>[ March 17, 2002: Message edited by: sad_n_lonely ]</p>

ohmy Marie,
Can you elaborate on what you think your faults were and what you are doing to work on them in the recovery of your marriage? I feel I am getting stuck in that pattern of withdrawl and distance. I want to work on myself, but am having a hard time.

Dear Lora: <p>Saw your question; however, it is very late here and I have to get up in about 5 hours to work a 10 hour shift (healthcare field [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ).<p>I will post back to you, on this thread, after my shift tomorrow evening.<p>Dear SNL: Thank you [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] ...that was mighty gracious of you, and I certainly appreciate the feedback.<p>PPppsst...I agree, 100%, that it is beneficial to hear, and to consider, differing viewpoints. <p>And, BTW, I was tempted to grab up my RR book and flip to the back pages...just to see if Dr.Phil did make his own faux pas [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] -- but I decided to let him slide, given the late hour of the evening and all [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] !!!<p>Peace, ~Marie<p>[ March 17, 2002: Message edited by: ohmy_marie ]</p>

well i made it through the weekend, no real conversation though. he did act a litle different this weekend. he was a little more attentive. i got torn asunder and read that, i feel as if i am in a good place. hopefully he will get help for himself.