#1--I know that there were problems in my marriage. (I wish I knew before he left!!)<p>#2--I blame him for what he has done and he is still doing.<p>#3--I blame her just as much....she has a son...I have sons...what gives her the right to move to my state....and start to put down roots with a married man??<p>#4--I will try not to dwell on the fact that she deserves not even an ounce of happiness.....she doesn't deserve to meet and spend anytime with my terrific kids.<p>#5--As I said...I will not dwell on this....but I will be a thorn in her side...an ache that will not go away. I am sure that it has already happened....the yard work...all my kids games...she is not a part of this...it has to bother this stupid woman a little. <p>I will never call her or confront her...unless of course she does something stupid to my boys. What her and my husband have done....that is enough pain for them....<p>Be strong Honey!!

HI FSAlone... I know the pain, I have confronted this woman.. mainly because she did spend time with my kids ... 2 wks after we seperated. amd they spent the night with this witch... she sd... she had to trust his judgement... like it was sane... ???? He was seeing an ow and had a wife and 2 kids... I appreciate all of your input and sincerities.. believe me it has been very difficult... and hard... I am so hurt... I am very tired too, I noticed that at the bottom of your lines... 6 months hurts... and more... I know it has been more... what really hurts... is my H's friends all supporting or shutting me out too, from the truth... I hate that... they help him hide his filth... so I hate them for it... I know, I know, here comes my spit fire anger. I have to let go of being so mad at everyone who is his friend and even his family for their support to him during this, but pluuuueese... dad... his dad... just makes me sicker than sick... loaning him money and giving him furniture... an adulter abandoning his family.... good grief... !!!!<p>Hugs , HOney<p>thanks for everyone posting! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

HONEY
When in counseling my counselor said: [1] write out a list of resentments you have for your h and ow&#8212;or put it in a letter form for ow NEVER TO BE SENT, of course. Its just for you. Then you can ceremoniously rip it up, burn it, whatever. [2] don&#8217;t give her the &#8220;power&#8221; that everyone is talking about. She simply isn&#8217;t worth it, and can&#8217;t appreciate anything you say for she is not the type of person who has a moral concept. She is not worth the effort of your anger.
I still hate her though. I don&#8217;t think of her as often, never met her, and never want to. I try to mentally shake her off as the dust of my shoes.
Yes, its easier to blame her than your H, even though he is equally to blame. It also takes heat off of yourself for allowing you M to get to that stage&#8230;.so she has been useful to all as a scapegoat, but she isn&#8217;t the main focus of what needs to be fixed anyway.
Of course, that&#8217;s not to say if I did have a picture of her, I wouldn&#8217;t hesitate to throw darts at it!!! J
Besides, contacting her would give her an excuse to contact your H, which you don&#8217;t want anyway. She isn&#8217;t worth the time of day so don&#8217;t give in to calling her, because she isn&#8217;t capable of really receiving the message you want to send her anyway. Its not in their brain because their brains are DEFECTIVE to begin with.

thanks Mikkey, thanks for the idea.. I will write a letter and have a burning ceremony right here in my fireplace, great idea... thank you. You are so right... their brains are defective... why would any sane person want to hurt my sweet family or anyone else's ... my poor boys are here having easter a m with no daddy this yr... and not even a call.... [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>H [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]