Dang it Sheryl! I don't get it...help me out here? corpse on a tractor? dying to get out? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ April 18, 2002: Message edited by: Susan ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by K:
<strong>I've used my tractor to mow, move brush, carry logs and mulch, scrape a safety area for a bonfire, as a big hammer for fence posts, and as a dustpan...</strong><hr></blockquote><p>...and to... look cool when doing nothing, comb your hair, invite neighborhood children over to take pictures with crazy man on tractor...<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Susan:
<strong>Dang it Sheryl! I don't get it...help me out here? corpse on a tractor? dying to get out? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>Get your beautiful self on the couch, Susan...<p>What do you see in this picture?<p>AH, I understand now...<p>You see: Candle on male child<p>Diagnosis: Your son is the light of your life!!!

Tee Hee...you silly girl!!!<p>What a way to hijack a thread!<p>[ April 18, 2002: Message edited by: Susan ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Susan:
<strong>Tee Hee...you silly girl!!!<p>What a way to hijack a thread!<p>[ April 18, 2002: Message edited by: Susan ]</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Yeah, you're right -- sorry about that hailey!

Dearest MBers:<p>It does not suprise (or shock) me to read of Hailey's personal "success". Surely, not all marriages can be saved. And, unfortunately, not all marriage partners are focused on the same outcome, nor do they all possess the skills, knowledge, and maturity needed in order to SURVIVE an affair.<p>But, for every "Hailey" story...there is a "Marie" story: A glorious, beautiful story of a committed wife WHO BELIEVED IN HERSELF AND HER ABILITY TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED BY HER HUSBAND. A story of a woman who remains married to the only man she's every truly loved (despite his affair-- despite his finding his affair soulmate). A story of a woman who REBUILT her marriage into an amazingly healthy, strong, rewarding, beautiful, honest, passionate MARRIAGE-- with the help of this wonderful website, and the patience/committment of the man she calls her lover and best friend: HER HUSBAND.<p>Furthermore, I continue to HOPE, will always HOPE and PRAY, that the majority of marriages will be strong enough to survive an affair.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Hailey states: Again the reason for this is to maybe help someone there see that there ARE NO PAT formulas for this kind of thing. Do not blindly follow what someone or some methods is telling you .... follow your hearts.<hr></blockquote> <p>My response: We are, without a doubt, FOLLOWING OUR HEARTS!!!<p>This site offers hope and encouragement to couples who are WILLING to recommit to their marriages...hopefully for LIFE...and not just until it seems convenient to leave. It is never WRONG for the betrayed spouse to HOPE...to continue to believe in what he/she holds true and dear to their hearts. I believe that the majority of spouses here are ALREADY FOLLOWING their hearts in their attempt to RECLAIM their marriages. To quote the great Martin Luther King, Jr: "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."<p>Moreover, IMHO, changing partners is the "easy answer" on how to "fix" the problem of an affair-- much easier than attempting to change the current marriage into what it could possibly mature into. I've never doubted for a moment that starting fresh carries with it a certain intoxication...a certain DREAM that everything will eventually be "better"...but simply removing yourself from a painful situation and "planting" yourself into a potentially better scenario does not always guarantee happiness and/or success. <p>We must all continue to remember what love really is--
Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited...It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense, and it is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes.~1 Corinthians 13:4-8 <p>Peace, ~Marie<p>[ April 18, 2002: Message edited by: ohmy_marie ]</p>

I applaud your post Marie. Thanks for sharing that. It is a ray of hope and inspiration.
[img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Or a Lor & Guard story, where he so regrets the OW and the painful memories when he chased & caught her for 2 years. <p>Where Guard woke up "free" to be with the OW cuz Lor was divorcing him...and began chasing Lor. <p>Where Guard loves his wife and Lor loves her husband and every now & then we touch hands and say how very fortunate we are that we ended up together.<p>Hailey--We're not brainwashing, goose-stepping, pod people! (yeah you didn't say exactly that, but I'm a little bit psychic)<p>I'm saving my money for a sexy vacation with my gorgeous H, otherwise, I'd bet $50 that the marriage doesn't take place.

Put me down for $100...it'd be the easiest money I'd made in a long time. I'd almost feel like I'd STOLEN it.<p>Hailey, you ought to talk to some OW or OM out there who have been where you are today. My ex-OM would tell you...it ain't over til the fat lady sings...and we are hardly an isolated case. And how many people get BACK together after the divorce is final?? Many...and many are turned away...but the OW/OM is still left standing alone. You've got some very sleepless nights ahead of you. Each night...wondering if he really IS going to divorce...wondering why he's stalling...wondering if he's telling you the whole truth, because it's obvious he isn't telling her the whole truth (people in the midst of an affair don't tell anyone the whole truth because they themselves don't even know). Yup...you're going to be a strungout mess pretty soon I'd say. You could go the "smart" route and continue no contact until he actually is divorced...how about a good 6 months divorced...unless you're looking to be a rebound. If he's reallllly sure and if he's realllly telling the truth...then leave him alone for the next year or so. It'd be the smartest thing you've done to date.<p>Good luck.

MB troopers:<p>What I'd really like to see happen here, and maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, is a turnaround similar to what CMiranda has been going through on this forum in recent weeks. Sure, she hasn't come clean with her H about her A and OC by that A, but she's trying, really trying. And yet, when she came here she was pretty antagonistic to several people responding to tobemommy's original post (what ever happened to her, anyway? that's another one!). <p>Yes, 4 months is ridiculous to expect to "get over" the emotional attachment to the MM. Heck, I've found myself thinking about old girlfriends after D-day of my W's A, but that doesn't mean I should "follow my heart" and call them up and see how they're doing after 30 years! No, I should work on my M as hard as I can and feel it's worth doing, and if it doesn't work out, only get out the li'l black book after I've gotten over the DV. For me, that would have to take at least 6 months.<p>Until you do something like that, hailey, you're a liar and a cheat and you're contributing to your MM's lying and cheating by brutalizing his W and family while having an A with you. Can you live with that? If so, you don't have the integrity that people like CMiranda have. She loved the heck out of her xOM, had a child by him, and still wants to do the right thing. It may or may not result in the survival of her M, but at least she'll be able to look back at whatever the result is and take pride in her efforts to do right. <p>Are you taking precautions so that your MM doesn't get you pregnant and further complicate your situation? Don't be a fool.<p>Okay, K, maybe I'll plunk down a $100 bucks, too!