I know this probably sounds soo childish but after a year in recovery, it has its ups and downs, I came across our marriage license, looked at it, then calmly ripped it into pieces. I then attached the pieces with a paper clip and wrote, void as of 2-6-01 (d-Day).<p> H does not know I did this, the license has been in a box stashed in the closet for years. It gave me such peace. Why? I wonder sometimes if I no longer feel "joined". I do know that the license means nothing at all to me. A broken contract with a broken heart.<p> I care for and love my H, but this one act kind of gave me a feeling of "gotcha". <p> I know, very childish but you know what, sometimes it helps.<p>Just curious if others have ever felt the need to do something like this, or if any others have. Also, am I ever going to need this license? (good time to ask now huh?) <p>Oh well.

K9,
My W took our license with her when she left, so I can't comment on that specifically. We are separated and I haven't seen her since 12/01.<p>I can tell you this. When I found out about her A I emotionally took out all our wedding pictures, all the love letters , everything I could find that remind me of our R and made a real nice fire out of them.<p>Did it make me feel good? Yes, for about a day. Now that she's starting to come around, even if just a little bit , I wish I would have never done that.<p>I must interject here, my youngest stepdaughter, 5, liked to draw crayon pictures of us as a family. I did not burn those. How could I?<p>The only thing I saved that my W and I shared is my ring and my memories and my love for her and the kids.<p>Just my thoughts.<p>Peace

I did not destroy any of the marriage pictures, nor the cards and letters gathered over the years. I guess it was my one way of having any control over what hd did to my marriage. He cannot claim to have a document pledging my undying allegiance and devotion to him.<p>I did destroy photos taken of us during the time of his A. Made me furious, to think that he could actually smile and look "happy" with his family. YUCK!!<p>Anyway, I have found there are a lot of things I wished I had done differently. For example, I didn't care who knew as far as friends. Family on the other hand, NO, I do not want them knowing. But I didn't care if he looked like a total jerk and heel to all his friends. Now I wished I had been more selective. But hey, this wasn't anything I had ever prepared myself for. I won't beat myself up over the should have and could haves. If the past is the past for him so too shall it be for me.<p>thanks for the reply

Well I have not done anything to the marriage license (maybe because I don't know where it is right now) but on D-day I did try to destroy our wedding portrait that was hanging on one of the walls in our house. I was not yelling at him our trying to do anything to him I just stood up walked over to the picture, took it off of the wall and proceeded to beat on the glass with the handle of a screwdriver which happened to be near me at the time. The worst part about it at the time was that the stupid thing would not break no matter what I did to it. Maybe God was trying to tell me something.

Gave ours to the kids.<p>See, I'm of the mind that our marriage meant something and I will never ever treat it with disdain, and that means not destroying momentos (sp? that just looks funny).<p>We did go through the greeting cards and toss most of them together, but saved a few really tender ones - again, for the kids. <p>We want them to know they were conceived in love, and that we weren't always the idiots we became later.